Shrek Super Party of Essexia

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Shrek Super Party of Essexia
LeaderLord Zabëlle
Founded14 February 2020
Dissolved24 February 2021
IdeologyMajority:
Political positionBig tent
Colors  Pale green
SloganYou can't spell progress without ogre.

The Shrek Super Party of Essexia (Loosely linked to the Shrek Super Party of New Eiffel) was a self-declared "Anti-government, anti-communist, pro-LGBT rights, anti-austerity, pro-socialism, pro-unionist" independent party in the Commonwealth of Essexia. Their goal was "to ban alcohol consumption and praise Shrek."

The party became the Essexian League on the 24th February 2021.

2020 Essexian General Election

Early Campaigning

The Super Shrek Party was formed on the 14th February 2020 with the intention of standing in the 2020 Essexian general election. Originally, the party fielded only one candidate and only had one apparent member, Prince Zabëlle, however this expanded throughout the campaign.

On the 16th and 17th of February, the party released a series of campaign an promotional materials that were met with high praise in Essexia; they contained manifesto promises which appealed to many of the younger Essexian demographic, such as 'If the Shrek Super Party wins Zabëlle Skye with read the entire Shrek script and sing All Star.' Similarly, the release of their official campaign video was met with high critical acclaim, with one viewing on the Instagram describing it as the 'greatest piece of both Essexian cinematography and propaganda.'

The party came under some criticism when it adopted a new campaign strategy, which was to threaten 'Shrek genocide' upon those who did not vote for the party. Questions were raised about how exactly the party would go about organising such a genocide upon their defeat, and how they would persuade Shrek to commit such atrocities. Eventually, the party backtracked, labelling as 'a joke, much like Essexia' - something which many universally agreed on.

Manifesto

A notable campaign poster used in the 2020 Essexian general election

The party released a manifesto titled 'Bruh' a few days before the election. This was seen as important in realising the parties intentions, which were realised as being mostly satirical. Key promises includes;

  • Seizing Kent, and making it join Essexia
  • Declaring war on Molossia
  • Forcing all Essexians to watch the Bee Movie and Shrek five times a day
  • Holding a referendum on 'whether or not we should hold a referendum on whether or not we should hold a referendum on whether or not we should hold a referendum on whether or not we should hold a referendum on whether or not we should hold a referendum on whether or not we should hold a referendum on whether or not we should hold a referendum to leave the GUM'
  • Ending world hunger
  • Nuking Norwich
  • Legalising medical alcohol.

Most notably, it also included the premise of a new state religion known as Shrekism, and the implementation of a new government system called Swampism, which was described as being 'created by Shrek, the holy one may eternal light be held upon thy, which aims to make the world known of Shrek, the holy one may eternal light be held upon thy.'

Outcome of the election

The party received 13 votes, which equated to around 8% of the total vote share. As per Essexian electoral law, this entitled them to one seat in the Parliament of Essexia, and one position in the Cabinet of Essexia. Zabëlle was thus made a Lord of Essexia, becoming known also as Lord Zabëlle of Essexia, and being made Minister of Culture, a position which is widely regarded as being a perfect platform for the implementation of his ideas.

Shrek did not end up committing genocide, despite the parties defeat, much to the relief of the Essexian public.