War of Muschamp Alley

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War of Muschamp Alley
DateApril 2006
Muschamp Alley, Carshalton
Result Midget victory - free passage secured for Rushy Meadow pupils through Muschamp Alley
Rushy Meadow
 • Midget Army
 • Footballers
 • Muschampian Yr. 6 gang
Commanders and leaders
 • Midget Master Jonathan
 • Commander Gregory
 • Yr. 6 Muschamper
~30 ~20

The War of Muschamp Alley was a conflict spanning three days fought in late April 2006 between pupils of Rushy Meadow (chiefly represented by the Midget Army) and Muschamp Primary Schools over the right to traverse an alleyway near to Muschamp. A Rushy Meadow victory was a result of the Midgets being able to effectively project their power beyond the Playground and Field for the first time since their founding. The conflict was the only instance in which Midget troops fought anyone not in attendance at Rushy Meadow.


Several pupils (mainly in Yr. 6) of Rushy Meadow, the school at which the Midget Empire was based, including several members of the Midget Army, began to use a nearby alleyway as a shortcut on their way home from school around the start of 2006. This alleyway ran past the entrance to another local school, Muschamp Primary. When some Yr. 6 Muschampers one day challenged the right of Rushy Meadow pupils to travel though the alleyway, the Midget soldiers among them forced their way through. The Muschampers challenged the pupils from Rushy Meadow to a school-on-school war, which Commander Gregory (a joint ruler of the Midget Empire who was present among the Rushy Meadow pupils) accepted.


The day after the challenge was accepted, Commander Gregory led a Rushy Meadow force of about a dozen Midgets and Footballers down the alley, but had to fall back in the face of superior numbers. The following day, Midget Master Jonathan (II) led a force of twenty elite Midget Army soldiers down the alley. Confident that the previous day's battle had won them the war, the Muschampers had fielded a far smaller army, which the Midget Master was able to easily rout, also capturing the Muschampian leader. The Muschampian leader was made to acknowledge Midget victory and Rushy Meadow superiority over Muschamp, and renounce Muschamp's claim to the alleyway.


This victory gave the Midget Empire immense prestige within the Playground, with the Midgets having successfully defended the rights and represented the interests of Rushy Meadow as a whole. Although Muschamp Alley was not made a province of the Midget Empire, the Midget Master bestowed upon Commander Gregory the title Lord of Muschamp Alley, and charged him with ensuring that Rushy Meadow pupils would always have free access through it. Commander Gregory oversaw the free passage of Rushy Meadow pupils through Muschamp Alley for the next few months until he left the school in July 2006, after which the office Lord of Muschamp Alley became purely titular.