Lord of Muschamp Alley
|Lord of Muschamp Alley
|Inaugural holder||Sir Gregory Allen, KOM|
The Lord of Muschamp Alley is a title which was originally granted by the Midget Master to denote the responsibility of preventing the pupils of Muschamp Primary School in Carshalton from obstructing an alleyway that runs near their school and so ensuring that pupils of Rushy Meadow Primary (school of the Midget Empire) could travel through it. Since July 2006 the title has been in practise a mere honorific, and since March 2016 has functioned as a sinecure within the Empire of Austenasia, enabling its holder to be eligible for appointment as a sixth Counsellor of State.
In April 2006, a war broke out between the Midget Army and some Muschampers over whether or not pupils of Rushy Meadow should be permitted to travel through Muschamp Alley on their way home from school as a shortcut. A Midget military victory resulted in the Muschampers surrendering, acknowledging Rushy Meadow superiority over Muschamp, and promising to let Rushy Meadow pupils use Muschamp Alley whenever they wished. Midget Master Jonathan granted Commander Gregory the title Lord of Muschamp Alley and charged him with ensuring that all Rushy Meadow pupils would have free passage through the alley. However, this duty was only performed until 25 July 2006, when the Midget Master, Gregory, and most of the Midget Army left the school.
Commander Gregory (knighted into the Order of the Bullmastiff in 2009) retained the title until 3 January 2011, when the Fifth Midget Master granted it as an honorific to Jonathan, then Crown Prince of Austenasia. The day afterwards, an Act of Parliament was passed uniting the title with the position of Austenasian Heir to the Throne, meaning that it passed to Jonathan's sister Crown Princess Caroline when he became Emperor in January 2013.
On 17 March 2016, Emperor Jonathan I passed an Imperial Decree directing Parliament upon approving said decree to legislate for the holder of the position Lord of Muschamp Alley to be eligible to be appointed a sixth Counsellor of State, and decreeing that the office would no longer be held ex officio by the Heir to the Throne. The decree also changed the official function of the office, removing all duties from it except the responsibility to keep the Monarch informed of any future threats or events concerning Muschamp Alley which they may have been ordered to monitor, a duty which is unlikely to ever be necessary to perform. Parliament formally approved this decree on 4 June 2016, in an addendum to the Foreign Affairs Act 2016.
List of Lords of Muschamp Alley
|Name||Lord from||Lord to||Notes|
|Sir Gregory Allen, KOM||April 2006||3 January 2011||First holder of the office; initially led near-daily term-time patrols down the alleyway to prevent further obstruction by the Muschampers. Office held nominally after 25 July 2006, with Gregory having left the school.|
|HIH Crown Prince Jonathan||3 January 2011||20 January 2013||United with the position of Heir to the Austenasian Throne on 4 January 2011. Performed a patrol of the alleyway once a month.|
|HIH Crown Princess Caroline||20 January 2013||25 June 2016||Title held nominally until 17 March 2016, when its original duties were removed and the title was no longer united with the position of Heir to the Throne. On 4 June, the holder of the office became eligible to be appointed a sixth Counsellor of State, but this had no effect on the Crown Princess, with the Heir to the Throne already eligible - if of age - to be appointed as such.|
|HM King Adam I||25 June 2016||27 February 2022||First holder of the title appointed as such in order to be made eligible for appointment as a Counsellor of State. Appointed as such from 31 August to 31 December 2016, and again between 3 and 9 September 2017.|
|Lord Michael Simpson, Count of Occibrazos||27 February 2022||Incumbent||Appointed Lord of Muschamp Alley in order to be made eligible for appointment as a Counsellor of State. Was appointed as such immediately upon assuming the position, and remains in office.|