God and Cthulhu's Kingdoms' Exaltation Regime

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God and Cthulhu's Kingdoms' Exaltation Regime (GaCKER, typically typeset as G.a.C.K.E.R.) is an inactive organisation associated with Optima. Primarily operated by Jeremy Oakes and Michael Sander, GaCKER controlled the government of the Grand Duchy of Mitchell Park before its annexation by Optima, and operated various other projects, sometimes under the guise of fronts such as the 9.2 Commission.

Control of Mitchell Park government

The Grand Duchy of Mitchell Park originated as an unspecified entity with a supreme court following Minnesota traffic laws used in a mock trial in c. September 2010. GaCKER reformed the entity into a micronational project, claiming the territory of what was then the school of most Optimans, as well as the neighbouring school as a protectorate. GaCKER appointed a puppet government headed by Grand Duke Sleiman Andary.

R. v. Karakasilis

One of GaCKER’s first forays into influencing the political and legal life of Mitchell Park was during the case of R. v. Karakasilis, which established Mitchell Park as a state. Peter Karakasilis, a student in 9.2, was brought before the Supreme Court of Mitchell Park, charged with violating unspecified Minnesota traffic law. During the trial, three senior GaCKER figures represented the Crown. GaCKER was unable to convince the court to convict Karakasilis, however, after his defence lawyer took advantage of both the judge and bailiff sleeping to approach the jurors’ box and bribe them to find his client not innocent. In his summing-up of the case, Justice French commented that although Karakasilis was clearly guilty, and that the course of justice had been perverted, ‘the prosecution cannot make an appeal, due to the principle of double jeopardy, and also lunch coming up fairly soon’.

2010 Mitchell Park elections

As part of their Politics course, students in 9.2 voted in a general election of the parliament of Mitchell Park. During the campaign period, GaCKER front group ‘Social Liberal Group Voting Ticket’ advertised extensively in favour of electing ALP candidate in the Lower House Konrad Kasperski and various Greens senators in the Upper House. Social Liberal Group Voting Ticket also produced the only how-to-vote card of the election, which all but two voters followed. This lead Greens candidate for the Lower House, William Tierney, whom Social Liberal Group Voting Ticket had preferenced last, to make claims that GaCKER had ‘rigged the election’, and that a crumpled how-to-vote card left by an unknown person on the floor of the polling place was evidence of this. Soon after the election, GaCKER installed Sleiman Andary as Grand Duke of the puppet state in a peaceful coup.

9.2 Commission

Operating as the 9.2 Commission, named after the classroom it claimed to represent, GaCKER held the Objects of the Year Awards in December 2010,[1] continuing the annual awards which began with the Brick of the Year Award given to the "Mofoboia Brick" on the wall of Mitchell Park's main building.

Object of the Year award recipients

Various Object of the Year awards were given in 2009, but were not permanently documented.

Award Awarded by Recipient Year
Brick of the Year Jeremy Oakes Mofoboia Brick 2008
Bench of the Year 9.2 Commission Easternmost bench of the eastern courtyard 2010
Computer of the Year 9.2 Commission That one that Conley used when he was bunking off of Woodwork 2010
Computer of the Year (runner-up) 9.2 Commission French’s laptop 2010
Pole of the Year 9.2 Commission Konrad Kasperski 2010
Pole of the Year (runner-up) 9.2 Commission That one by Millemaci’s office 2010
Cupboard of the Year 9.2 Commission The one closest to the door in 9.2 2010
Cupboard of the Year (runner-up) 9.2 Commission The one near the sink in the electronics room 2010
Declan of the Year 9.2 Commission Declan Roden 2010
Declan of the Year (runner-up) 9.2 Commission Deckcember guy 2010
Furry of the Year Alex Saint Jack Smedley 2010
Siren of the Year Jean Francois-Pierre Jean Francois-Pierre’s siren with the massive knob 2010
Writer of the Year 9.2 Commission Declan Roden’s pen 2010
Writer of the Year (runner-up) 9.2 Commission Declan Roden 2010
Political Way of Thinking of the Year Konrad Kasperski Communism 2010

9.2’s Most Integritous Person award

The 9.2’s Most Integritous Person award was an honour bestowed upon 9.2 student Sleiman Andary during an RE class in which students, including the then-9.2 Commission chairman, Jeremy Oakes, were required to make a poster about a person who displayed ‘the kind of integrity God requires’. Although most students elected to write about various celebrities, Jeremy Oakes and Michael Sander chose to focus on Andary. After being told by their teacher that it was necessary for their subject to have been formally recognised for their integrity, Oakes and Sander created the award. Contrary to popular belief, Andary was not chosen to receive the award because he was Grand Duke of Mitchell Park. Rather, he was installed as a puppet-leader of Mitchell Park by GaCKER due to his integrated nature.

Religious activities

The promulgation of the GaCKER Thought religion, despite being one of the founding aims of GaCKER, never occurred to any meaningful extent. Michael Sander was field-ordained to Bishop in 2010 in order to perform an exorcism on Jeremy Oakes as part of a vacation-style medical treatment, but was stripped of this status following the exorcism’s completion, leaving GaCKER hierarchy bereft of any ordained ministers.


References