Badu Park Municipal Government
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 Flag
 Coat of arms
| |
| Motto: Fuck You Obey the Law! | |
| Anthem: Symphony in C Major "Fuck You Obey The Law" | |
| Capital | Badu Park Chair |
| Largest city | Badu Park |
| Official languages | Badu Park Arabic |
| Demonym(s) | Badu Parkian |
| Government | One-party Absolute Communist Dictatorship |
• President General Colonel | Japitty Cumquat |
• Prime Minister | Muntart Hoe |
• Chief of Defence | Testicle Garcia |
• Chief Pilot of the Air Force | Dick Smith |
• Minister for the Economy, Fishing and Private Parts | Peter Cunt |
| Legislature | Legislature of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat |
| Establishment | 19 September 2020 |
| Population | |
• Census | 17 |
| Currency | Badu Park Ruby |
| Time zone | Australian Eastern Standard Time |
Website Official website | |
The Badu Park Municipal Government, Badu Park or BPMG is a micronation within close proximity of the People's Republic of Xahastan. Founded on 19 September 2020 by current and only President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat, the nation is the second most developed and influential nation within the Inner West Park Annexation Movement as defined by the Japitty Development Index. Known for its military power projection, the nation has become somewhat of a pariah due to Japitty's highly aggressive stance on Johnston's Creek nationalism, and the resulting geopolitical tensions resulted in the Johnston's Creek Wars, which were a series of wars caused by tensions between Badu Park and the Empire of Douglas Grant Park over control of the creek, using its citizens as political bargaining chips. The government is a de jure communist regime, however the unique economic and political positions held by Japitty often get classified as their own political system called Japittyism, not to be confused with the religion of the same name.
History
The Badu Park Municipal Government was founded on Saturday 19 September 2020 by visionary leader President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat. The nation was founded after President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat was exiled from Parramatta road for promoting dangerous products, the product in question was raw untreated salt water from the Cooks River (which contained very high levels of lead and mercury). Japitty Cumquat was selling the water as a miracle cure for every disease known to man. The water was responsible for the hospitalisation of the President General Colonel as well as the five customers he sold the water to.
After being released from the hospital and being subsequently exiled from Parramatta road President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat discovered a small, decrepit piece of land at the intersection of Booth and Wigram Road to Chester Street Annandale named Badu Park. President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat subsequently annexed the land, citing the moment as 'a great triumph over the evil imperialist Inner West Council'. The new Badu Park Municipal Government subsequently declared war on the Australian government as well as the City of Sydney and Katoomba Local Police. The Badu Park Municipal Government began to mobilize its newly founded military which consisted of the President General Colonel and a small blunt butter knife.
Badu Park War
The Badu Park Municipal Peoples Defence Force began a series of campaigns in the local area such as: assaulting nearby pedestrians and attacking passing council cars with his fists. These smaller skirmishes eventually culminated in Battle of the Annandale local IGA, in which the President General Colonel walked into the IGA and sat down on the floor proclaiming that he 'owned it'. After this devastating attack 2 NSW Police officers assaulted his position by peacefully attempting to remove him from the floor and place him outside, The President General Colonel held his position for a further two minutes before the Police officers tased him and placed him under arrest. He was subsequently banned from the Annandale local IGA. The Badu Parkian defeat at the Battle of the Annandale local IGA is widely regarded as why the Badu Park Municipal Government lost the war. After the crippling defeat in the war, President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat renounced his declaration of war.
Civil War & Current Events
After the devastating loss in the war, the economic situation in Badu Park completely collapsed and the sheep market was completely closed. This subsequently caused great instability in President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat's regime and two days after the the economy collapsed elements of the Badu Park Municipal People's Navy launched a revolt. In response to this, Japitty Cumquat and Dick Smith launched an attack on the rebelling naval elements. Soon the naval rebellion was put down but the right to sell sheep was still in dispute. A group made up of the navy and some parts of the Army attempted to seize the 2 sheep present in Badu Park but were repelled by President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat's sheer tenacity. The civil war ended when Japitty Cumquat stabbed a solider (a plant). After the civil war the right to sell sheep was taken away from everyone but the President General Colonel. As of current times the Badu Park Municipal Government has had its territory forcefully refurbished, this is widely due to the Municipal Government's loss in the war. President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat has made the statement 'i am incredibly humiliated'. The President General Colonel is now focused on re-building its military so that he can launch a second campaign against Australian government, and this time come out triumphant.
'Colonial' Expansion
Main Article: Badu Park 'Colonial' Expansion
Geography
Badu Park is at the intersection of Booth and Wigram Road to Chester Street Annandale. The new forcefully refurbished Badu Park has one long concrete bench instead of a diseased chair with Christmas decorations.
Subnational Entities
Badu Park has eight subnational entities called "Crunchmog States" which operate similarly to provinces, with less independent autonomy. Each crunchmog state has a "Supreme Chief of Mog" who is similar to premier or governor of a state or province. Badu Park also has one administrative division known as a "Badu Park Supreme Despotic Region" which operates similarly to the District of Colombia in the US.
List of Crunchmog States
| Flag | Name | Postal | Capital | Population | Area (m2) | Supreme Chief of Mog |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Cornstain | CST | Badu Park | 12 | 24 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
|
Crunchmog #3 | C#3 | Lumptown | 0 | 3 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
Brenden | BD | Woodcuckville | 0 | 9 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
|
Ohio | OH | Columbus | 0 | 2 | Dick Smith |
|
|
Western Crunchmog | WCM | Insecticide | 1 | 15 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
|
Left Virginia | LVA | Mountain Mama | 0 | 1 | Dick Smith |
|
South Badu Park | SBP | Rent | 3 | 18 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
|
New South Douglas Grant Park | NSD | Lawyerville is Trash | 1 | 3 | Japitty Cumquat |
List of Internal Territories and Non-State Entities
| Flag | Name | Postal | Capital | Population | Area (m2) | Premier |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Badu Park Supreme Despotic Region | BPSDR | Badu Park Chair | 1 | 5 | Japitty Cumquat |
| None | Territory of Cumquat Bay | – | None | 0 | 15 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
Johnston's Creek Permanent Occupation Zone | – | North Virginia City (Claimed) | 14 | 204 | Japitty Cumquat |
List of External Territories and Non-State Entities
| Flag | Name | Postal | Capital | Population | Area (m2) | Premier |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Badu Park Embassy to Australia | – | None | 1 | 115 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
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Badu Park Antarctic Terriroty | – | None | 0 | <1 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
Governorate of Mugahan | – | None | 0 | 4 | Dick Smith (Governor) |
 (Unnofficial)
|
Sydney Park Division Zone (Badu Park Sect) | – | None | 3 | ~500 | Japitty Cumquat |
|
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Johnston's Creek Occupation Zone | – | None | 14 | ~100 | Japitty Cumquat |
Wildlife
Currently there are only two species of native organism residing in Badu Park: an unidentified plant that has been growing out of a diseased chair, which seems to be extremely toxic to anything that touches it and a strangely aggressive snail. President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat has attempted many times to remove the plant from the chair but has been hospitalised upon every attempt. Toxicologists are unsure what makes the plant so hazardous to life, they suspect it could be the diseased nature of the chair it is growing from or that it could have absorbed Japitty Cumquat's homemade cocaine (which is extremely hazardous to anything that it comes in contact with) which he frequently pours around Badu Park.
Infrastructure & Transport
Badu Park has one main road: Japitty Cumquat Is da Best Highway (a piece of pavement that leads into Badu Park). The 'Highway' is in a terrible state of disrepair caused by Badu Park's lack of pavement maintenance equipment. There is one [very rudimentary] railway in Badu Park. There is only one railway company that operates in Badu Park: Municipal Railways. Municipal Railways only operates one 'train' (a plastic bucket with some skateboard wheels taped to it). There is also a bus stop, claimed by Badu Park. The only buses that operate to the stop are the 469 and the 470. The Badu Park Municipal Government has one airport: Japitty Cumquat Badu Park International Airport. it is located in a narrow strip that leads to Badu Park. It has no terminal or gates. The only airline that operates from the airport is Airlines of Badu Park, which operates using small Xahastanian Airlink aircraft.
Economy
Badu Park Municipal Government has a struggling economy reliant on selling sheep for bottles of water to survive. There was a civil war fought over the right to sell sheep in Badu Park, in which the rebels lost and so the general population are not allowed to sell sheep anymore
Industry
The Badu Park Municipal Government is engaged in the production of a local strain of cocaine, dubbed Mega Coke XL. The recipe for Mega Coke XL was created entirely by Japitty Cumquat himself, and mainly uses high power industrial drain cleaner (stolen from hardware shop), wholemeal flour and insect spray as ingredients. Upon analysis from Pharmacists, it was discovered that the substance produced is extremely toxic to anything it comes in contact with. The NSW Police have attempted to seize Japitty Cumquat's supply of Mega Coke XL but have failed to, due to the substances sheer toxicity. It has also been discovered that even in full hazmat gear Mega Coke XL is still incredibly harmful. According to Cumquat himself the substances makes him feel 'heckin rad'. It is a medical mystery how Japitty Cumquat is still alive after using Mega Coke XL. It is suspected that if Mega Coke XL finds its way into an environment of any kind, that there would be a die-off of all living matter in a 500-kilometre radius. North Korea has asked Japitty Cumquat for the recipe but Cumquat refused on the grounds of 'i would have to ask my lawyer, David Chinchilla'.
Mega Coke XL is the main export of Badu Park, being a large competitor of local drug dealers. Japitty Cumquat has procured a shack nearby Badu Park to manufacture his Mega Coke XL, which is "completely automated" by underpaid, malnourished workers. Japitty regularly attends Centrelink queues to recruit dealers, who are dispatched across Sydney to sell Japitty's product and return the profit directly to Japitty. In a recent public statement, Japitty admitted "Mega Coke XL is the main source of revenue for my democratic dictatorship."
INjuRY Motor Vehicle Production Company
"INjuRY Motor Vehicle Production Company" is a Badu Parkian state owned car manufacturer designed to compete with the Chinese car market in Australia, mainly the Great Wall Motors subsidiary Haval. Japitty Cumquat claims that INjuRY is a "state owned export purpose built to compete in the Australian market" and also contradicted this claim by stating "these cars are terrible, no one will buy them". The vehicles are typically Power Wheels cars bought online and modified to drive at dangerous speeds of up to 70 km/h. The cars are bought by unsuspecting parents to give to their children, but one unit was sold to an adult drug addict, while another was bought by Cheezit McDaniels as an Imperial Vehicle. They have sold 8 units, causing three crashes, two seriously wounding the drivers. The seriously injured drivers were the drug addict, and the second was Kim Un Laptop III, after McDaniels forced him to test the vehicle for safety. Japitty Cumquat had deliberately ordered his manufacturers to sabotage Cheezit's Vehicle by loading it with plastic explosives to assassinate him, however Kim Un Laptop III was the victim of the explosion instead, seriously wounding him. Both drivers have since recovered.
INjuRY has been ordered to recall its vehicles after these incidents by the Australian Government, but has refused and is still operational, despite bans on the sale of their products in Australia.
Japitt Group
Japitt Group Ltd. is a state owned finance management company, owned and managed by the Badu Park Government Asset Management Company.
Currency
The currency is the Badu Park Ruby. It only comes in 13 units. There is only one bank note in circulation (depicted to the right). 1 Ruby is equal to 0.005 U.S. cents. Citizens who have attempted to use the currency in shops outside the country were immediately arrested and sentenced to 50 years in jail for murder. The reason for this was because the currency causes extreme levels of sadness for anyone unfortunate enough to view the note. The levels of sadness one experiences when viewing the note is comparable to being murdered, and thus the use of the note anywhere outside the country is treated as such.
Attempts at Taxation
The Badu Park Municipal Government initiated a taxation "routine" on the citizens, forcing a mandatory £2 tax, paid 1 cent coins. The citizenry refused, however Dick Smith was subjugated to make up the difference on lost revenue. Japitty Cumquat is among 1 of 2 tax paying citizens because he says "It's fun to obey da law." also saying "I am an upstanding role model for all Badu Parkians, except Dick Smith, who disappoints me." Dick Smith has refused multiple times, however Japitty Cumquat broke Smith's Nintendo Switch, forcing him to pay for the repairs as part of the new "Tax Rebate Scheme", which was Dick Smith paying Japitty Cumquat to fix his switch despite not even understanding the basics of breathing, let alone computer science. This tax was not optional, and would be "a disgrace to your uncle in law." It is worth noting that Dick Smith doesn't have an uncle in law.
Politics
The politics of Badu Park takes place in a framework of an absolute communist dictatorship under a totalitarian military junta, whereby the President General Colonel is the supreme leader, president, prime minister and mayor. The Badu Park Municipal Government holds elections, but these elections are internationally regarded as "rigged", because Japitty Cumquat only needs one vote to win office. Japitty Cumquat is the only eligible voter. General citizens who try to vote are often attacked by Japitty Cumquat. The Legislature of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat only has one seat which is held by President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat. There is only one permitted political party, being the Japitty Cumquat People's Democratic Party of Liberation.
Political Parties
| Flag | Name | Ideology | Number of Seats | Leader |
|---|---|---|---|---|
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|
Japitty Cumquat Peoples Democratic Party of Liberation | Communism, Authoritarianism | 1 / 1
|
Japitty Cumquat |
Banned Political Parties
Badu Park has banned multiple parties from running in an election, officially for "Treasonous leadership" and "Corruption" which was justified as being "In the best interest for all Badu Parkians" by Japitty Cumquat. Badu Park has taken extreme care in ensuring all candidates backed by the JCLA are banned, because their sole aim is the disestablishment of Badu Park to "gain independence for the cultural region of Johnston's Creek" according to David Toolchest.
| Flag | Name | Ideology | Leader |
|---|---|---|---|
|
|
Johnston's Creek Liberation Army | Johnston's Creek Nationalism, insurrectionary anarchism | David Toolchest |
|
Imperial Party | Douglas Grant Park Nationalism, Imperialism | Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX |
|
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Independence Party (front for the JCLA) | Johnston's Creek Nationalism, insurrectionary anarchism | Pregnant Nathan |
|
Badu Park Nationalist League | Badu Park Nationalism, Far-right Populism | Ronald Rondalson |
|
Municipal Workers Party | Socialism | Japitty Cumquat |
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Republican Party | Anti-Japitty, Free Badu Park, Badu Park Nationalism | John Bruhs |
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Patriotic Homeland Party | Badu Park Nationalism, Conservatism, Anti-Municipal Regime | Joe Cremeboi |
Election Legitimacy
Badu Park has only ever had 2 elections, one being on 19 September 2020 and the other being in March of 2022, both of which saw a 100% voter turnout and a result of 100% to Japitty Cumquat and 0% to opposition, although no opposition was listed. Many Inner West micronations dispute the result, while others congratulated Japitty on a fair win.
Official Election Reactions
| Country | 2020 Election | 2022 Election |
|---|---|---|
| Mugahan Rump State
|
Accepted result and formally congratulated Japitty Cumquat | Accepted result and formally congratulated Japitty Cumquat |
 People's Republic of Odea
|
Accepted result | Accepted result and formally congratulated Japitty Cumquat |
 Technocracy of McMahon
|
No reaction | Accepted result |
| Empire of Douglas Grant Park
|
Denied result | Denied result |
 Republic of Xahastan
|
Denied result | Criticised legitimacy and the conduct of the election |
 People's Republic of Nguyenistan
|
Accepted result and formally congratulated Japitty Cumquat | Expressed concern surrounding the conduct of the election and was neutral regarding the result |
 United States of Jubilee Park
|
Denied result | Denied result |
 Republic of Pioneers Park
|
No reaction | Criticised result |
Related organisations that reacted negatively to the result are: Johnston's Creek Liberation Army and the 7-Eleven Camperdown Military Operations Division. The Commonwealth of Australia had no official reaction.
Election Conduct
The September 2020 election began on 19 September with "all of the many candidates" registering with the "Badu Park Popular People's Free and Fair Legitimate Democratic Election Authority of Free Choice and Legit Democratic Elections Without Bias and 100% Not Rigged Elections Please Vote for Japitty Cumquat Electoral Commission" which is the Badu Park electoral authority. Two candidates other than Japitty Cumquat attempted to register, with one being immediately denied and the other being permitted to campaign. Campaigning began on 20 September, with Japitty Cumquat putting up one propaganda poster and playing the national anthem for 2 days, before campaigning closed. The other candidate, John Bruhs, held one rally which was shut down backed by claims of illegality, before being banned from the election race. On 23 September the election was "conducted" with one citizen being allowed to vote anonymously (later revealealed to be Japitty Cumquat), and Japitty won with an "astounding" 100% of the vote.
The March of 2022 election was conducted with Badu Park citizens queueing in Badu Park Chair outside of a cardboard box, with a window cut out for Japitty Cumquat to watch as the citizen voted. The ballot cards were manufactured partially in Badu Park and partially in the Republic of Xahastan, and as a result, varied in structure. The ballot papers made in Badu Park featured three boxes to tick, one to vote for Japitty Cumquat, another to vote for "Mr. Cumquat of the Japitty Variety" and a final box which simply stated "execution" which, if ticked, would mean the voter would be shot immediately upon exiting the voting booth. Badu Parkian ballot papers also featured a space for voters to write their full first and last name, which was required to be permitted to leave the booth. If voters did not write their name on the paper, they would be arrested for high treason. The Xahastanian ballot papers featured Japitty Cumquat, as well as Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX, which was reportedly a request from the Imperial National Security Division, the intelligence agency of Douglas Grant Park. The initial batch of Xahastanian ballot papers were seized and destroyed, however the following shipments were not detected and ended up being provided to voters. Japitty quickly realised this, as a voter had received a Xahastanian ballot paper, and voted for Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX. Japitty responded by running the booth over with the secret police van, with the voter still inside, before building a second booth with only the Badu Park variety of voting cards. The voter was seriously injured but survived. Japitty also installed a detachment of Presidential Guard to patrol the exterior of the booths, who would ask the voter who they were voting for before allowing them to enter. If the voters responded with anything other than Japitty Cumquat, they would be arrested for high treason. Three voters were arrested for "providing false or treasonous information to election mediators" and were charges with high treason.
Law Enforcement & Crime
The Badu Park Municipal Government has a legal system based on Libyan law from 1969 and influenced by Japitty Cumquat's personal ideals and communist legal theory. Judiciary procedures are handled by the 'Supreme Court of Japitty Cumquat', which functions as the only court 'qualified' to handle 'Badu Parkian law'. The Supreme Court of Japitty Cumquat handles everything from serious crimes (such as murder, terrorism and high treason) to simple disputes between citizens. It also mediates the interpretation of the Badu Park Constitution.
The Supreme Court of Japitty Cumquat adheres to 'Cumquat's codex of da laww' which outlines criminal offences and punishments. Punishments outlined in the document have been regarded as 'inhumane' and 'an abuse of human rights'. Indictable offences outlined in the document are listed as: high treason, disrespect to Japitty Cumquat, political dissent, terrorism, murder, physical assault, sexual assault, possession of a controlled substance (drugs), illegal immigration, tax evasion, destruction of property, practice of the Japittist religion, espionage, affiliation with the Inner West Council, protesting without explicit permission from Japitty Cumquat and breathing without permission, although the latter is rarely enforced. Punishments are determined by the severity of the crime with the most serious crimes (high treason, terrorism and murder) often carrying the punishment of death by firing squad. Another 'popular' method of punishment is caning, with this form of punishment being reserved for offences such as disrespect to Japitty Cumquat, physical assault, sexual assault and possession of a controlled substance, with the number of strokes being around 5 to 20 (with sexual assault usually resulting in the latter amount), with a stick known as the 'Japitt Stick'. However the most common form of punishment are 'state sanctioned spankings' where Japitty Cumquat spanks the charged individual the amount of times allocated (with it usually being 20 to 50 times).
Crime Rate
Unsurprisingly Badu Park has a low crime rate with and average of 5 crimes committed a month. As of 2022 only 3 people have been legally executed, with two being members of the Johnstons Creek Liberation Army, who were trying to assassinate Japitty Cumquat and the other being a defector. Also as of this year only 8 people have been caned with the only notable case being that of an American tourist who was caned 5 times with a Japitt Stick after he 'crossed into Badu Park without permission'. The crime rate has been disputed by external observers, stating, with some accuracy, that laws are only enforced when the offence directly affects Japitty Cumquat himself, and laws not enforced are typically not recorded, thus deflating the statistic. Xahastan's estimates of Badu Parkian crime rates confidently place the number closer to 15 or 20 monthly offences, far exceeding the officially stated average. Another reason for the false official statistic is the secrecy surrounding political charges classified as immoral or unjustified under an ordinary definition of moral punishment. Typically the aim of the Badu Parkian justice system is the minimisation of security threats affecting government bodies, and thus, not correction or rehabilitation, and as a result, a large portion of court cases fall outside of the official stance Badu Park holds, and tend to reflect negatively in the international community. To mitigate this, Badu Park tends to conduct proceedings without publicising the result or in many cases, without acknowledging the existence of the case at all. Many political cases tend to be conducted in an informal setting under direct supervision of Japitty Cumquat, with a predetermined, unfair result.
Difficulties Regarding Enforcement
Japittyist Law is rarely enforced as a whole, with most crimes affecting citizens being ignored, including theft and substance abuse, while offences directly affecting Japitty Cumquat or his government are strictly enforced, often excessively, in violation of international law. This is due to the "legal favouritism" promoted by Japitty Cumquat himself, stating "If laws don't affect me, why enforce them? They cost more to enforce than to clean up their results." As a result, Badu Park has seen excessive substance abuse issues and theft rates reported by citizens to external organisations auditing Badu Park law enforcement. The audits found that the most enforced offences relate to "political crimes" including protesting, affiliation with the Inner West Council, disrespect to Japitty Cumquat and "political dissent" which is loosely defined as the act of involvement in political organisation against the Japittyist regime. This can include the support of enemy states, disassociation with Japittyism, usage of anti-government language, destruction of politically aligned government property including monuments to Japitty Cumquat, and the removal of state sanctioned propaganda pieces, among other activities. Political crimes are usually excessively enforced, usually without the crimes having taken place to begin with, which results in many false convictions. The second most enforced laws involve "national security" which includes espionage, terrorism, murder, high treason, illegal immigration, physical and sexual assault, and destruction of property. These laws are usually enforced to the degree they occur, without excessive or limited response, and usually see convictions consistent with the rate these crimes occur. The least enforced laws include theft, robbery, possession of controlled substances, and tax evasion. These are usually never enforced unless under international scrutiny, either via external auditing or the presence of tourists. Civil cases including litigation are usually mitigated, with lawsuits seeing minimal presence in court. External auditing has found that civil cases, particularly litigation, is ignored, or in the case of litigation directed against state bodies, directly suppressed, with "political dissent" charges being falsely issued on a regular basis towards citizens who attempt litigation.
Imprisonment
Badu Park doesn't possess any domestic detention facilities, instead utilising an abandoned car park nearby, dubbed the "National Offshore Badu Parkian Jail" and it consists of a single chicken coop style cage. Japitty constructed the crude holding cell out of discarded fence material and wood. The facilities within the cell include a pile of dead leaves to be used both as a bed and a bathroom. The prison currently holds 4 prisoners, all on life sentences for high treason. To deal with overpopulation, the guards typically tie prisoners to the outside of the cage. The prison is not officially publicised, however Xahastanian intelligence discovered the facility in late 2021 and has since published their findings.
Culture
The culture of Badu Park is extremely complex. The Badu Parkian culture has many different dances and rituals, the most popular is: stomping around Badu Park whilst the national anthem is playing. Japitty Cumquat can be seen doing this dance almost all day every day, but due to his habitual use of his homegrown cocaine (Mega Coke XL) he frequently slips and falls on even the most minute of ground protrusions. The Badu Parkian language is also extremely unique, it consists of only the words Badu Park. Not even Japitty himself can speak the language.
Cuisine
The Badu Parkian national dish is 'baked beans and egg pizza'. According to Japitty himself the dish is 'exquisite fine dining' but according to most people who have survived eating it, they say the dish is beyond rancid. According to Japitty Cumquat the main ingredients in 'baked beans and egg pizza' are baked beans, half cooked egg, baking soda, ketchup and banana. It is suspected that the dish causes extreme indigestion and has been responsible for the hospitalisation of everyone who has eaten the dish. Japitty is known to approach patrons of the cafe next door to Badu Park and demand that the patrons of the cafe eat his 'baked beans and egg pizza', many refuse but there are some people who actually try the dish, the reason that they cite for trying the rancid dish is 'i felt bad for him'. Many of the patrons who tried the dish were hospitalised. Japitty Cumquat has attempted many times to apply for MasterChef to try and cook the dish but was denied every single time. The dish is so vile and rancid that it is essential illegal to prepare it outside of Badu Park.
Another very popular dish in Badu Park is apple juice risotto. This dish is another brainchild of Japitty Cumquat with him considering it to be his 'best dish yet'. The main ingredients are rice and apple juice, with the rice being boiled in the apple juice until it reaches a creamy constancy and pepper being added after to 'enhance the flavour profile'.
National Holidays
The Badu Park Municipal Government has two 'national holiday' celebrated annually. The first to be ratified is VCM Day (Victory Over Cheezit McDaniels Day). This holiday was created after the Badu Parkian victory in the Sydney World War. The holiday is only celebrated by Japitty Cumquat and involves him jumping around Badu Park to the national anthem saying 'suck it Cheezit McFuck' and 'i beat you in war'.
Badu Park officially observes "Badu Park National Liberation Day" annually on 19 September. Badu Park National Liberation Day is the day Badu Park was "liberated" from the Commonwealth of Australia, and the day is celebrated by Japitty Cumquat performing an 8 hour long speech in Badu Park Chair, while the national anthem is played for the entire day in the background. Presidential Guard will do a 300 gun salute using live ammunition, which has in the past caused civilian fatalities as the ammunition has hit multiple Badu Park citizens. The 300 gun salute does not actually feature 300 artillery pieces, instead featuring ten type 100 machine guns firing thirty rounds each. Badu Parkian citizens are encouraged to set up parties and 'baked beans and egg pizza barbeques" in Johnson's Creek, protected by the Johnston's Creek Territorial Field Troops. Japitty Cumquat himself usually takes part by forcing himself into a party and eating all the food before vomiting due to food poisoning. Japitty Cumquat has killed one participant for undercooking his pizza. This practise has been extremely controversial, as it takes place in the cultural region of Johnston's Creek, and multiple past events have been targeted by the Johnston's Creek Liberation Army, causing a total of 4 civilian fatalities.
While many Badu Parkians observe religious holidays pertaining to Japittyism, the government's official stance on religious holidays prevents the public celebration of these events in Badu Park, and therefore the holidays are not officially recognised as national holidays, and citizens have been prosecuted for participating in these events.
National Identity
Badu Park has a strong sense of national identity, both tied to the Badu Park Municipal Government, and to the park itself. A strong sense of rebellion towards Japitty Cumquat stems from the Badu Park Republic. This is in reference to 4 hours before Japitty Cumquat founded Badu Park, when a resident at Badu Park felt tied to the park itself, and was spiteful towards Japitty Cumquat for "Hijacking Badu Park culture and bastardising it for the benefit of the regime" and the republican movement formed, utilising the "old flag" as its symbol. Japitty used this design to create the Badu Park Municipal Government's national flag. Badu Park vexillology conventions have an asymmetrical tricolour, with the lower bar being largest, and the top bar being the smallest, with the coat of arms skewed to the hoist and slightly above the centre. These conventions are tied to the culture, and Japitty Cumquat felt it necessary to utilise these conventions when designing a flag for his regime as to not alienate the Badu Parkian residents already present in the park. The flag features the Badu Park coat of arms, as well as a green lower bar for the grass, a white middle bar for the air, and a blue bar at the top for the sky. Japitty Cumquat replaced the colours with grey to represent concrete and industrialism, as he planned to transform the park into an industrial scale drug factory to boost the economy. The flag became a symbol of free Badu Park, and was modified to be the anti-Japitty flag.
Conflicts
There has been multiple conflicts involving the Badu Park Municipal Government.
| Conflict | Combatant 1 | Combatant 2 | Result for Badu Park and/or its Allies | Badu Park Losses (Including Injured, Captured and Material Losses) | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Military | Civilian | ||||
| Liberation Campaign (September, 2020) |
 Badu Park Municipal Government
|
 Australia
Supported by: Paul's Rubbish Removal Sydney |
Victory
|
||
| Badu Park War (20 September 2020 – 25 September 2020) |
Badu Park Municipal Government
|
Australia
Supported by: |
Defeat
|
||
| Badu Park Civil War
(January, 2021) |
Badu Park Municipal Government
Supported by: |
People's Front (mutiny force):
People's Defence Force:
Supported by:
|
Victory
|
||
| First Johnston's Creek War (Victory) | Coalition: Badu Park Municipal Government
|
IPCP: Empire of Douglas Grant Park Non IPCP:
Supported by:
|
Victory
|
12 killed , 15 injured |
|
| Johnston's Creek Conflict (ongoing) | Coalition: Badu Park Municipal Government
|
 Johnston's Creek Liberation Army
|
Frozen Conflict
|
4 killed , 8 injured |
|
| Badu Park Oil Wars (2020-2021) |
Badu Park Municipal Government
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Australia
Supported by: |
Defeat
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1 soldier killed, 2 injured, 1 captured, 1 firecracker expended | |
| Second Johnston's Creek War (Victory) | Coalition: Badu Park Municipal Government
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IPCP: Empire of Douglas Grant Park Non IPCP:
Supported by:
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Victory
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9 killed , 4 injured |
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| Badu Park Great War (December, 2021) |
Badu Park Municipal Government
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Australia
Supported by: |
Defeat
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||
| Badu Park War of Restoration (ongoing) | Badu Park Municipal Government
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Australia
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Frozen Conflict
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1 killed (Sailor Bjorn was fatally run over by a council parking inspector), 1 injured (Japitty Cumquat fell and grazed his knee and reportedly "lost his shit" and attacked a JB HI-FI Worker) |
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| Sydney World War (Victory) | Annandale Democratic Municipal Park Occupation Force and Military Treaty Organisation (ADMPOFMTO):
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Imperial Park Colonisation Pact (IPCP):
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Victory
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48 killed, 39 Injured (Including Hummus McDonnell, who tripped and bruised his shin) | |
| Invasion of Sydney Park (Victory) | Coalition:
Supported by:
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 United Colonies of Sydney Park
Supported by:
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Victory
|
5 killed, 10 Injured | |
Flags
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State Flag
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Coat of Arms
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Flag of the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force
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Naval Jack
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Civil Jack
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Flag of the Municipal People's Supreme Executive Reserve Bank of Badu Park and Its People
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Presidential Flag of Badu Park
Banned Symbols and Flags
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Original flag of the Badu Park Republic, known as the "Old Flag" utilised by republicans and anti-government movements to show support.
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Anti-Japitty flag
National Anthem
Instrumental
The instrumental was composed by the expert composer President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat in roughly 30 seconds using the popular music creation software Garage Band on Wednesday 21 November 2018 and is titled "Badu Park National Anthem". The piece was intended to be Cumquat's first symphony, but it was adapted to be the national anthem on Saturday 19 September 2020.
The instrumental consists of a glockenspiel, an electric guitar, 2 electric pianos, 2 synthesiser basses, 2 full drum kits and an entire orchestral percussion section. The arrangement consists of the glockenspiel and electric pianos playing the melody with the two synth basses playing the same melody two octaves below. The electric guitar plays chords following the melody. The first drum kit and the orchestral percussion section play specific percussion instruments to the same rhythm as the melody. The final drum kit plays a 60s shuffle beat to keep time. The melody repeats 4 times. The arrangement is at 120 bpm and is written in C major, however many accidentals occur, essentially meaning the piece practically doesn't have a key. The piece has a time signature of 4/4. The piece famously is the only national anthem to contain synthesisers in its official recording. Currently, no sheet music exists for the anthem, however the Badu Park National Institute of Music is currently working on a transcription.
Classifying the piece into a genre was a difficult task for many music scholars. Some considered it to be classical because of its intention to be used as a symphony, while others considered it to be jazz because of its loose and off beat melody and practical lack of a key. Newton von Uberquie, Palatine-Viceroy of Uberquiesenberg, has analysed the piece as "basically sci-fi jazz". The argument was put to rest on 12 April 2021 when the anthem's official genre was revealed to be classical, specifically baroque waltz.
Lyrics
There are no official lyrics to the national anthem, however a popular practise is to yell the words "Badu Park" precisely once at exactly 33 seconds in.
Use in Education
The Badu Park National Anthem is a major part of the curriculum at the Badu Park National Institute of Music. The piece is regularly analysed in lectures and elements are used as examples of clearly defined musical genius. During lectures, many famous classical and modern pieces are compared to the anthem, essentially using the anthem as an example of perfect music to scrutinise other pieces against.
Critical Acclaim
The piece has mixed reception. Some consider the piece to be of exceptional quality and regard it as a masterpiece, however the majority of critics, as well as the general public, consider the piece to be awful. Critic Jimothy Bruh famously reviewed the work, making statements such as "I hate it!" essentially describing how the piece is painful to listen to for more than 2 seconds. "Please turn it off" he later added. He was visibly in distress at the time. Despite critical reception, the piece is still a hallmark of the Badu Park Municipal Government and President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat's musical genius.
Live Performances
There has only been one recorded live performance of the piece outside of Badu Park. President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat began a program he dubbed "psychological warfare", where he would go out in public and play the national anthem. Cumquat went to the Local Supabarn and played the national anthem from his 2012 iPod Touch. Within 11 seconds of the performance, he had been asked to turn it off 3 times, he had defecated on the banana display and assaulted an elderly man before his iPod shut down because he hadn't updated it since 2014. He was subsequently arrested, however his grandmother bailed him out and reportedly gave him expired spaghetti for dinner, which he later vomited up and threw at a passing council parking inspector. He later testified in court and stated "The program was the most successful war I have ever waged, and the most successful performance of my music career!". Later that day he was diagnosed with tooth decay, which, in a press conference in Bishop Street McDonald's, he claimed was because his iPod speakers where "way too heckin jamming" and the national anthem "slapped a bit too hard". This resulted in his immediate removal from the premises.
Military
The Badu Park Municipal Government has three combat branches of the military as well as two separate branches that are responsible for the state's defence. All branches are under the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force. There is one branch outside of the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force, which is the Presidential Guard. The Presidential Guard is responsible for the protection of Japitty himself, as well as being the Special Forces Operations Division of the military.
Badu Park Municipal People's Army
The Badu Park Municipal People's Army is responsible for the defence of the Badu Park territory. The Badu Park Municipal People's Army originally consisted of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat, and two enlisted soldiers, who were exclusively paid in V-Bucks, however the army has since grown in size due to the Sydney World War. The Badu Park Municipal People's Army has 1 slightly sharpened butter knife between 3 people as well as a rusted non-functional go-kart with 2 sticks duct taped to it. There BPMPA has made plans to construct a new tank, the M60 Main Battle Tank (depicted in the gallery below) to replace the Go-Kart. The M60 Main Battle Tank is still in early production phases, partly due to the fact that President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat has no means acquiring a machine gun and cannot do so legally. During the Sydney World War, Badu Park greatly expanded their military, paying mercenaries to join the army, the mercenaries provide their own weapons. The new and improved army consists of two brigades of 30 infantry, commanded by Field Admiral Testicle Garcia, who was a soldier in the Cuban Revolutionary Army.
Presidential Guard
The Presidential Guard is by far the best equipped. They are made up of 10 specially trained armed security operators, used to protect cargo ships from piracy. He exclusively pays them in V Bucks. The unit was founded on 28 December 2021. They are all former South African SAS. They use type 100 Nambu submachine guns (seven of which are non functional replicas, the others are functional replicas, however they have limited lethal ammo). They are also equipped with black raincoats, red hats and black balaclavas.
Presidential Guard Gallery
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Badu Park Presidential Guard during the Douglas Grant Park Invasion stationed at the Imperial Olympic Stadium of Douglas Grant Park
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Badu Park Presidential Guard stationed at a trench in Badu Park
The Badu Park Municipal People's Navy is the nation's primary naval force. The Badu Park Municipal People's Navy consists of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat as well as two sailors, one of which is a plant. The Badu Park Municipal People's Navy has 2 vessels of which one is operational. The first vessel is the BPMN Fuck You Obey Da Laww, it is an inflatable paddle board with a small speaker taped to it for playing the national anthem. The vessel was heavily damaged by an oyster during a routine patrol of Johnstons creek, the vessel sunk but was recovered and hour later and is now being restored. The second vessel is the Wigram Road class patrol boat, the BPMN Badu Park National Anthem, it is a small raft built from cardboard and wood. The BPMN Badu Park National Anthem's operations include: Mine laying (throwing bags of urine into Johnstons creek), ASW patrols and shore raids (throwing bags of urine at people walking past Johnstons creek).
Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force
The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force is the nation's primary aerial defence force. The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force consists of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat as well as Captain Dick Smith who is the air force's commander and pilot. Captain Dick Smith had a falling out with President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat which resulted in the President General Colonel attacking Dick Smith. He was subsequently demoted from Lordly Captain to just Captain. The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force currently operates one Air Hogs - Sonic Plane High-Speed Flyer with Real Motor Sounds, which was procured from Amazon.com.au. It has no weapons or recording equipment. The BPMPAF's one aircraft has only seen combat once: during Operation Piss off Joshy Boi with Tax Evasion. During this operation the small RC plane was flown over Sydney Kingsford Smith International Airport causing the airport to shut down for 5 hours causing catastrophic delays and the ditching of two flights into Sydney Harbour, Dick Smith was subsequently arrested for this action but was released on probation the next day.
Badu Park Municipal People's Air Defence Unit
The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Defence Unit is a defensive joint military and militia unit that utilizes drones and anti-aircraft weapons to defend the Badu Parkian airspace from air based attacks. They also fulfil a secondary role of missile defence, using their surface-to-air weapons to eliminate missile threats.
Badu Park Municipal People's Tactical Missile Division
The Badu Park Tactical Missile Division is a military division that operates the missile and heavy artillery assets of the BPMPDF.
Badu Park 'Cyber Warfare' Brigade
The Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force also maintains a 'Cyber Warfare Brigade'. Japitty Cumquat has made the claim that his Cyber Warfare Brigade has a supercomputer capable of hacking into anywhere. In reality the 'supercomputer' is just a 1st generation iPad with cracked screen and broken home button. This 'supercomputer' is not actually capable of much, due to the fact that Japitty has intentionally installed 3 different types of ransomware to 'make it immune to hackers'. The iPad is also infested with adware caused by Japitty trying to install Minecraft for free. He maintains that Dick Smith is a qualified cyber security expert who is capable of "rigging the Australian Election". Dick Smith has subsequently refuted these claims on the grounds that he failed kindergarten, and maintains that Japitty is delusional and needs to see a doctor about his brain injuries.
Badu Park Secret Police
The Badu Park Secret Police is the national investigation bureau of Badu Park as well as the intelligence agency. They use a stolen van to arrest (abduct) Inner West Council workers and bring them to Badu Park to interrogate them. Once they get the information about the location of the council headquarters (although they already know where it is), they release the council worker. The Badu Park Secret Police has 2 police officers, one to drive the van and the other to abduct the council worker.
List of Military Equipment Used By Badu Park
Army Equipment
| Model | Origin | Type | Quantity | Image | Details |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Slightly Sharpened Butter Knife | Australia | Melee Weapon | 1 | 
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Stolen from Coles. Used as Japitty's personal defence weapon. |
| Type 94 Nambu | Empire of Japan | Pistol | 1 | 
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Used by Japitty Cumquat to steal petrol from 7-Eleven. |
| Type 100 submachine gun | Empire of Japan | submachine gun | 11 | 
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Procured from western Sydney bikies. Used only by the Presidential Guard |
| Type 9 AFV | Badu Park | Armoured fighting vehicle | 1 | 
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Rusty pedal cart with a weed eater motor for propulsion |
| M60 Main Battle Tank | Badu Park | Main Battle Tank | 2 planned | 
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1 prototype destroyed, 1 still under construction |
| 'Rusted Van' Class Patrol Boat | Badu Park | Patrol Boat | 1 (Under Restoriation) | 
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Stolen from Anaconda outdoors, Named BPMN Fuck You Obey Da Laww |
| 'Assault Charge' Class Frigate | Xahastan | Frigate | 1 | 
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Gifted by Xahastan, Named BPMN Badu Park National Anthem |
| 'Fuck' Class Hydrographic Survey Vessel | Badu Park | Hydrographic Survey Vessel | 1 | 
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Surf board stolen from Decathlon, Named BPMN Fortified Shelter |
| 'Extortion' Class Guided Missile Cruiser | Badu Park | Class Guided Missile Cruiser | 1 | 
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Kayak stolen from Decathlon, Named BPMN Discord Server |
| 'Polluted Lake' Class SSBN | Badu Park | Nuclear Missile Submarine | 1 | 
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Small cylinder constructed out of cardboard, Named BPMN Japitty Cumquat has a Big Peen |
Air Force Equipment
| Air Hogs - Sonic Plane High-Speed Flyer with Real Motor Sounds | United States | Attack Aircraft | 1 | 
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Procured from Amazon.com |
| Brewster F2A Buffalo | United States | Air Superiority Fighter | 1 | 
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Stolen from the HARS Museum. Was under restoration, rusted, missing components and significantly damaged. |
| Boeing 727 | United States | Bomber/Patrol/Transport | 1 | 
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Stolen by Japitty Cumquat from the HARS Museum, 'Landed' (crashed) into Kennards Self Storage |
Air Defence Unit Equipment
| Model | Origin | Type | Quantity | Image | Details |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Air Hogs - Sonic Plane High-Speed Flyer with Real Motor Sounds | United States | Air Defence Fighter | 1 |
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Procured from Amazon.com |
| Goalkeeper CIWS | Netherlands | Close-in weapons system (CIWS) | 1 | 
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Stolen from a British military scrapyard after it was removed from a Type 22 Batch 3 Frigate. Surprisingly, it is still fully operational. It has 15,000 rounds of stolen 30 mm ammunition. |
| DJI Mavic 3 | China | Anti-missile UAV | 1 | 
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Stolen from a man in Badu Park as we was landing it. |