Sydney World War
This article contains profanity or other material which may be considered offensive.
|Sydney World War|
ADMPOFMTO Members:Free Cities of Provincetown & Charleston
Technocracy of McMahon
Non Nation Combatants:
|Commanders and leaders|
Field Admiral Testicle Garcia
Potty "the Salsa" John
David Armington I
John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet
Holy Chaplain Nguyen
Feather Duster McBalls
Gerald Ballsniffer (former Sailor in the BPMPN)
Captain Pregnant Nathan
|Casualties and losses|
|9 civilians killed (estimated)|
The Sydney World War was a large scale micronational conflict involving the majority of the Inner West's micronations forming two opposing military alliances: The Inner West Micronational Coalition or simply "the coalition", consisting of the Annandale Democratic Municipal Park Occupation Force and Military Treaty Organisation (ADMPOFMTO), and the Imperial Park Colonisation Pact (IPCP). The Sydney World War began when the Badu Park Municipal Government invaded the Empire of Douglas Grant Park with President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat citing "The imperial and colonial ambition of Cheezit's Regime is in direct opposition to the political stance of Badu Park, and thus, for this reason along with the empire's intent to develop and use ICBMs on Badu Park, his regime must come to an end". The war was ended on the 2nd of March 2022.
In late 2021, Badu Park claimed victory in the Second Johnston's Creek War, causing tensions between Badu Park and Douglas Grant Park. Douglas Grant Park became increasingly hostile toward the ADMPOFMTO, although the Johnston's Creek Accord prevented Douglas Grant Park from initiating military hostility and conflict, although the accord still permitted Douglas Grant Park to engage in national self defence. Cheezit McDaniels exploited this by engaging in "preemptive self defence operations" by launching artillery strikes into Johnston's Creek and launching Maritime Defence Force patrols. This was condemmed and Douglas Grant Park was issued an ultimatum of either withdrawing from Johnston's Creek or being sanctioned under the terms of the Johnston's Creek Accord. Douglas Grant Park complied and faced no further action, although tensions still remained.
Empire of Douglas Grant Park's Secession From the Coalition
The Inner West Micronational Coalition was established in 2020 as a micronational military agreement to support micronational sovereignty in the Inner West, and assure safety and military support in the event of an attack on one of its members. The coalition consisted of the entirety of the Inner West micronational community until December 2021, when the Empire of Douglas Grant Park seceded from the coalition, claiming "the Inner West Micronational Coalition is a tyrannical organisation governed by the senior, more recognised Inner West micronations, and its goal is to suppress the sovereignty of its members, particularly IPCP signatories." The secession was soon followed by the other IPCP members, followed by the People's Republic of Nguyenistan, who would later join IPCP on 4 January 2022.
Collapse of Diplomatic Relations
On 2 January 2022, King Cheezit McDaniels announced the beginnings of his Imperial Nuclear Weapons Program, threatening Badu Park with nuclear war if Japitty did not rescind his claim to leadership and instate an "imperial sympathiser" (Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX) as the new head of state. Badu Park quickly opened up negotiations that morning, using the Bunnings parking lot as the neutral location for mediation, with James Bernstein (a tradie doing Muntart Hoe's roofing) as the mediator. The diplomatic discussion went for three hours, the result of which was a seeming de-taunt, with Cheezit McDaniels agreeing to cease his nuclear weapons program. However the following day, on 3 January 2022, Cheezit announced that the Empire of Douglas Grant Park was only months away from refining weapons grade uranium, indicating that the empire was not willing to back down. These claims have since been disproven.
On 4 January 2022, Japitty Cumquat announced that Badu Park was closing their borders to all immigrants from Douglas Grant Park, and began drafting plans to invade if Cheezit McDaniels didn't back down. After five more hours of diplomatic mediation, Douglas Grant Park still continued with its nuclear sabre-rattling. Because of this, the Badu Park Municipal Government severed all economic ties with the Empire of Douglas Grant Park, and began enforcing sanctions on its grass exports, requiring all ADMPOFMTO members to follow suit. This resulted in the Republic of Nguyenistan withdrawing from ADMPOFMTO, because of its heavy reliance on Douglas Grant Parkian grass for food and energy production, opting instead to join IPCP, even though Nguyenistan has strong anti imperialist ideologies. Eventually, on 5 January 2022, the Badu Park Municipal Government declared war on the Empire of Douglas Grant Park. Analysts say this action was not justifiable.
Invasion of Douglas Grant Park
On 5 January 2022, the Badu Park Municipal Government and Japitty Cumquat invaded the Empire of Douglas Grant Park from the north and seized the Imperial Olympic Stadium (basketball half court) by attacking the patrons of the park with sticks and forcing them out. From this position they began shelling the capital Lawyerville (throwing bags of urine at it). After this, Cheezit McDaniels began to fortify a front line around the capital. Three hours after this, Japitty Cumquat began a full scale siege on Lawyerville but was repelled by the Imperial Military Force and forced back to the basketball courts. Soon after this defeat, Japitty Cumquat began to focus on the McDaniels Space Facility and Museum by shelling the 'Colonisation' Class Space Shuttle, heavily damaging it in the process. After the shelling of the space facility Cheezit McDaniels responded by launching a retaliation attack on Badu Park by shitting on one of the sacred benches at Badu Park.
Mugahan Rump Government Joins the War & Xahastanian Declaration of War
One day after the Badu Parkian assault on the Empire of Douglas Grant Park the Federated Democratic Social Council of the Military and Civilians, Which is Also a Republic in Which the People Decide the Leader Which is Now Situated Within the Legitimate Mugahan Syndicalist State joined the war on the side of Badu Park after Japitty Cumquat promised a large sum of new weapons and economic aid if it joined, stating "As a member of ADMPOFMTO, you are required to assist in conflicts Badu Park enters into". Soon after the FDSCMCWIARIWTPDLWNSWLMSS joined the war, the Republic of Xahastan declared war on Badu Park and Mugahan, seeking to prevent Badu Park "expansion" (vandalism of property, including frequent and consistent defecation on Xahastanian territory).
Operation Cold Vengeance
One hour after declaring war on the Annandale Democratic Municipal Park Occupation Force, the Xahastanian military began drafting a plan to destroy the military equipment of Badu Park as well the military equipment of the FDSCMCWIARIWTPDLWNSWLMSS. Operation Cold Vengeance took place the same night when three Xahastanian troops snuck into Badu Park and set fire to the Type 60 Main Battle tank prototype as well as BPMN Fuck You Obey Da Laww. Whilst this was happening two Xahastanian troops snuck into the FDSCMCWIARIWTPDLWNSWLMSS and sunk its one naval vessel: the MNS Harv. After this attack Japitty Cumquat apparently 'lost his shit' and assaulted his air force pilot and commander Dick Smith. He subsequently declared war on Xahastan.
Free Cities of Provincetown & Charleston Joins the War
After Operation Cold Vengeance, on 8 January 2022, the relatively small Free Cities of Provincetown & Charleston joined the war on the side of Badu Park despite its very close proximit y to Xahastan. After this, the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force sent reinforcements to the Free Cities to dissuade Xahastan from invading.
Battle of Lawyerville
Three days after Operation Cold Vengeance, on 10 January 2022, the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force began to move more troops to the front line at the north-west border of Douglas Grant Park in preparation for an invasion of the capital Lawyerville. Forces began advancing 2 hours after they amassed on the front. The invasion forces were headed by Japitty Cumquat's Presidential Guard accompanied by 2 smaller brigades of regular infantry. The force arrived at the netball court and set up a defensive perimeter. They began to clash with the 19th Motorised Rifle Division and 15th Rifle Regiment of the Imperial Military Force of Douglas Grant Park which had established a defensive perimeter in response. Both sides began hitting each other with sticks. The Presidential Guard was ordered to fall back to Badu Park to protect Japitty Cumquat, which left the inexperienced infantry disorganized and without leadership. During this battle, Cheezit McDaniels tripped while commanding his Imperial Marine Corps, and grazed his knee. This was a major moral loss for imperial troops. The battle continued on for a further 10 minutes, with multiple sticks being broken across soldiers' heads, before the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force began a full retreat, due to general disorganization, and a relatively strong push by the Imperial Navy's ground forces on the western flank. The battle was a decisive victory for Douglas Grant Park. Their victory would set the tone for the rest of the war.
Xahastanian Campaigns in Mugahan
Whilst the battle of Lawyerville was being fought, the Xahastanian Defence force began covert campaigns in Mugahan, aiming to destroy the military communication infrastructure as well as the vast grass fields that the Mugahan economy relies on. These operations were only undertaken by the Eyes of the Revolution (the Xahastanian secret service). Some of the operations included: destroying the two hand-held radios (paw patrol toy walkie talkies) used by Mugahan as well as setting fire to the grass in Mugahan. These attacks greatly crippled the Mugahan ability to wage war. Xahastanian forces led a relatively disorganized push into Mugahan, independent of commanding officers, however this was largely ineffective because of the lack of involvement from Xahastanian leadership. The incursion had minimal conflict, with Xahastanian troops being unable to breach the barriers established by Muhagan forces. Ultimately, the incursion failed.
Operation Piss in a Hole
On 11 January 2022 the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force began a military operation it called 'Operation Piss in a Hole', led by Captain Dick Smith. The operation consisted of shelling the People's Republic of Nguyenistan, then taking the State of Kelly Street. The operation began in the early hours of the morning when the 7th Artillery Brigade began to shell the Territory of the Servo (throw bags of urine at it). The attack went on for 7 minutes before the Royal Revolutionary Army was mobilised. The servo had to throw out the majority of its stock, because it had been covered in Japitty's urine. In the aftermath of the attack many Nguyenistani people called for the total destruction of the Badu Park Municipal Government. The People's Republic of Nguyenistan subsequently declared war on Badu Park.
First Invasion of Badu Park
Three days after the devastating military disaster and chaotic event that was Operation Piss in a Hole, on 14 January 2022, the governments of Nguyenistan, Xahastan and Douglas Grant Park met to discuss a possible revenge invasion of Badu Park. After much discussion the governments of the three nations decided to use the already established People's Front (an already established Badu Parkian opposition group), as a front for the Invasion of Badu Park. In the days leading up to the invasion, the 12 members of the People's Front received training from the Royal Revolutionary Army of Nguyenistan and equipment from Xahastan and Douglas Grant Park. They were issued 8 Beretta Model 38s as well as 120 rounds of ammunition. On 15 January 2022 the People's Front (with air support from Xahastan) launched an invasion of Badu Park from the back part of the park. The People's Front walked alongside Johnstons Creek, and invaded Badu Park from the east. The People's Front hid behind a retaining wall and fired on Japitty Cumquat, however the Presidential Guard fired back killing two in the initial volley. Japitty temporarily fled Badu Park and sought refuge in Mugahan. Xahastan attempted a strafing run on Badu Park with one of their MiG-23s, however the target was too small and ultimately the pilot had to pull out of the dive. The firefight lasted another 30 minutes, with another two People's Front casualties as a result. The People's Front opted to retreat, and pulled back to Douglas Grant Park to regroup, however they decided not to re engage. The invasion was a disastrous loss for the Imperial Park Colonisation Pact. The People's Front was essentially destroyed at the hands of the elite Presidential Guard. The main reason for the loss was poor planning and incompetent troops, as well as defective weaponry due to poor maintenance on behalf of the People's Front. This was the second most deadly battle in the conflict so far.
All four People's Front casualties died. Three of them died during the battle while the fourth was in critical condition and died on the way to the hospital. The bodies were left outside the Bishop Street McDonalds because "there was nowhere else to bury them" according to Gerald Ballsniffer (leader of the People's Front). The IPCP's loss cemented the reputation of Badu Park and it's elite Presidential Guard as the superior fighting force among all of the Inner West parks' military units. The Presidential Guard would adopt the nickname "Inner West Heavy Infantry" because of their extraordinary military performance and the absolute decimation of IPCP forces during the invasion. Cheezit McDaniels reportedly cried at the incompetence of his forces that day. This military achievement is in stark contrast to Badu Park's military performance three days earlier during Operation Piss in a Hole, most likely due to the presence of the Presidential Guard, as well as the use of actually functioning firearms. This battle is considered to have turned the tide of the conflict, and prevented badu park from losing the war immediately.
Odean Invasion of Xahastan
Two hours after the disastrous First Invasion of Badu Park the People's Republic of Odea declared war on Xahastan and its allies. The one troop of the People's Republic of Odea's military force: President John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet amassed on the Xahastanian border. He was met with a barrage of fire from a Xahastanian Sten Gun, stationed in a defensive position. He subsequently ran away. According to Xahastan this was a 'cowardly act of intimidation'. This 'invasion' resulted in a Xahastanian Il-28 bombing the People's Republic of Odea. The only impact the invasion had on Xahastan was that they had to replenish their ammunition for the Sten Gun.
Badu Parkian Invasion of Xahastan
On 15 January 2022, the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force sent three brigades of infantry and the Presidential Guard to the Free Cities of Provincetown & Charleston in preparation for an invasion of Xahastan, holding a defensive position at the border of Xahastan for twelve hours awaiting orders. The infantry was armed with sticks and 3 Beretta M12s provided by the Free Cities of Provincetown & Charleston, however they only had 50 rounds of ammunition. The invasion began in the early hours of the morning on 16 January 2022, where the three brigades of infantry were sent in. The infantry marched along the main road towards Reqqen. The invading force arrived at a Xahastanian road block and trench emplacement and flanked out preparing to engage. Gunfire was exchanged with Badu Parkian infantry fanning out and holding a defensive position on the road, not intending to give it up. Eventually, the infantry was pushed off the main road and across a field, where they were forced to take cover in a small trench and behind a brick wall. The infantry held at a defensive barricade, with minimal attempts at making an offensive, occasionally throwing rocks at Xahastanian defensive emplacements. After 5 minutes, the infantry launched a raid and left their defensive trench to charge across the open field at Xahastanian defences. They were immediately cut down by fire from two Xahastanian soldiers using Sten Guns. The Infantry retreated back to the trenches and the Presidential Guard was sent in to aid the infantry. The Presidential Guard found themselves under heavy fire from a Xahastanian T-55 tank holding the main road as they attempted to reach the infantry's defensive position. The Presidential Guard had to use a different route to get to the infantry. The Presidential Guard successfully extracted the infantry. 3 members of the Presidential Guard and 8 members of the infantry were severely wounded. The Xahastanian forces began to attack the infantry's position and pushed the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force back to the border with Free Cities and proceeded to bomb and shell the Free Cities of Provincetown & Charleston for the next 10 minutes. One Xahastanian Troop was injured in the battle, taking a round to the shoulder from a Presidential Guard's Nambu Type 100 because he didn't take cover. The invasion was a defeat for the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force and prompted the Xahastanian Defence Force to begin refining weapons grade uranium. Upon learning of his troops defeat Japitty Cumquat was sent into a fit of rage and took his anger out on patrons of Bishop Street McDonald's.
The 'Great Escalation'
Just after the repulsion of Badu Parkian troops, a Xahastanian Il-28 dropped a small tactical warhead (comparable to the 'mini nuke' in fallout 4) on Muganhan City destroying a portion of the city in the process. No one was killed when the bomb was dropped but much of the cities infrastructure was damaged and Potty "the Salsa" John tripped and bruised his shin. The Mugahan Rump State was devastated by the attack and their war effort was crippled in the process. After dropping the bomb on Mugahan the same Xahastanian Il-28 dropped two more small tactical nuclear warheads on the People's Republic of Odea and Badu Park. No one was killed but Japitty Cumquat's 2012 iPod Touch was 'fried' by the blast created by the warhead. Upon learning that his iPod was no longer functional he 'lost his shit' and walked to the Inner West Council building and started to 'demolish' it with his fists. Japitty also commanded his secret police to "ramp up the rate of arrests" (increase number of council worker kidnappings and abductions). This attack only strengthened the Annandale Democratic Municipal Park Occupation Force's will to fight. Xahastan also increased the rate of UAV airstrikes on coalition forces.
Downing of Xahastanian UAVs
The Republic of Xahastan possesses four heavily modified commercial DJI drones capable of light airstrikes, and during the Sydney World War, Xahastan implemented two of them for surveillance and kinetic bombardment. During a routine airstrike on Badu Park, the Badu Parkian newly installed Goalkeeper CIWS detected the approaching drone, and fired approximately 300 rounds at the UAV, severely damaging it and downing it immediately. Initially, Xahastanian airstrike operators assumed the drone had malfunctioned and shut down, sending in a second drone to continue the attack. The CIWS fired another 150 rounds at the second drone, destroying it as well. A detachment of infantry was sent to Badu Park to survey the wreckage, but was met with light gunfire from Badu Parkian forces and was unable to recover the downed drones. Xahastan considers this to be the single biggest blunder of its military resources it has ever experienced. Xahastan has since replaced the lost drones.
Badu Parkian Cyber Attacks & War of Attrition
Approximately two weeks after the 'Great Escalation', the conflict began to freeze, with combat seizing on almost all fronts, particularly the air campaigns, as both sides failed to establish an effective offensive air presence. In response to a decreased level of military engagements, Japitty Cumquat ordered his Badu Park 'Cyber Warfare' Brigade to conduct a cyber warfare campaign. The first 'attack' was conducted by Cumquat himself. The 'attack' in question was to sell Cheezit McDaniels on eBay for a price of $50,0000. He demanded that Dick Smith create the listing on his personal eBay account. Dick Smith refused. The attack was carried out on 4 February 2022, when Japitty Cumquat created an eBay account called "bigj4pitty69" and listed Cheezit for sale for $500. Cheezit responded by reporting the listing as 'abusive'. Japitty considered the attack a 'massive demoralising success' on Cheezit McDaniels. The second act of this 'cyber war' was when Dick Smith was ordered to airdrop a zip bomb onto Cheezit McDaniels' iPhone 4, but after realising that Cheezit's iPhone 4 had not been updated to IOS 7 (the version of IOS which airdrop was introduced on) Dick Smith just sent a fraudulent email to Cheezit, claiming to be giving him Terraria Mobile Edition for free. The attack ultimately failed, as Cheezit did not open the zip bomb because he said "I don't like Terraria, I'm much more of a My Singing Monsters kind of guy." which was sent as the official reply email to Dick Smith. Dick Smith was subsequently reprimanded and assaulted by Japitty for his "gross technological incompetence". The third and final attack of the campaign was a DDoS attack on Xahastan's MiG 23 navigation system. The DDoS was unsuccessful because the head of the Cyber Warfare Brigade, Captain Dick Smith could not turn on the iPad he was meant to use, because it had been infected with "a number" of viruses and malicious programs, reportedly including a Xahastanian trojan, which is most likely spyware according to the Mugahan State Intelligence Agency. Dick Smith gave up after 30 seconds, reportedly breaking down in tears. The attempted DDoS attack was ultimately useless, as the MiG-23 predates digital navigation technology and doesn't possess any computer based navigation systems.
After the cyber attacks, combat further reduced on all fronts and the both sides entered into a war of attrition. Xahastanian forces on the Badu Parkian front were reduced, The Empire of Douglas Grant Park reduced funding to its nuclear weapons program (this did not have much of an impact), and Badu Park reduced its amount of forces operational, mostly reducing the size of their infantry brigades. Council worker kidnapping and abduction rates were also scaled back. Military forces now focused on holding borders, cutting supply lines, and intercepting munitions deliveries during transit in order to cripple the enemy's economy. Minimal firefights broke out during this period, resulting in no military casualties, only light damage to military equipment, with no civilian deaths. It is unknown how many civilians were injured during these skirmishes.
Xahastanian Invasion of Badu Park & Escalation of the War
On 18 February 2022, the Xahastanian Defence force began to re-mobilise their armed forces, preparing to attempt a blitzkrieg style invasion of Badu Park, aiming to depose Japitty Cumquat. This decision was made on the basis that Japitty would never make peace until he had invaded and occupied all micronations in the Inner West, which has not been confirmed. On the night of 18 February 2022, the 15th, 16th, and 17th Xahastanian Motorized Rifle Divisions amassed on the south border of Badu Park and began to shell the area with support from the 2nd Infantry Brigade, Eyes of the Revolution Special Operations Unit and the Air Force. The Badu Parkian troops were vastly underprepared and soon found themselves facing a well organised and well equipped enemy. The shelling continued for 8 minutes, causing minimal damage and no casualties. After the shelling ceased, the ground forces launched an assault across the border, breaking through the border checkpoint and up the retaining wall supported by the MiG 23. Initially, the small detachment of border guard held the line in a defensive trench, but they soon collapsed after an airstrike by the MiG 23 damaged their trench, allowing the Xahastanians to take the retaining wall, threatening to capture the Goalkeeper CIWS, which had been causing difficulties for the Xahasanian MiG 23. A Badu Parkian detachment of reinforcements arrived, including members of the Presidential Guard. The Presidential Guard struggled to maintain control of a weakened army, and had to do most of fighting themselves. The Presidential Guard (the only part of the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force with effective weapons) were ordered by Field Admiral Testicle Garcia to begin a push towards the Xahastanian front line in order to protect the Goalkeeper CIWS, and were cut down by both ground based machine gun fire and a strafing run from the MiG 23, killing 1 soldier, and non-seriously wounding 3. The Badu Parkian equipment was decimated by artillery fire. Dick Smith was hit in the shoulder by a piece of shrapnel and Japitty fled the area. This allowed the Xahastanian forces to capture the CIWS, silencing it and protecting their MiG 23, which was now fully able to provide fire support.
Whilst this was occurring, the 8th Rifle Brigade and members of the Johnstons Creek Liberation Army began an assault from the north west, destroying the border fences and taking the stairs. The 8th Rifle Brigade held at the stairs, killing 2 more Badu Parkian infantry in a firefight while suffering 1 loss, before pushing towards the Badu Parkian trenches and cutting up through the park, breaking the Badu Parkian defensive front. During this push, a further 4 Xahastanian soldiers were picked off by a Presidential Guard Sniper, which was a heavy loss. The forces soon surrounded Badu Park Chair and began to shell and bomb the city from a defensive position. The only military units holding out were some Presidential Guard members and the Badu Park secret police. However, the Xahastanian advance stalled when small reinforcements from the Governorate of Mugahan arrived, commanded by Brigadier General Potty "the Salsa" John, who was a sub par military commander, significantly less capable than his Xahastanian counterpart. However, he did surpass the Johnstons Creek commander, Captain Pregnant Nathan (not actually pregnant, that's just his name). The reinforcements pushed in between the northern and southern Xahastanian lines. This broke the circle and forced the Xahastaians armies to split. They managed to push the Xahastanians back to the border without any more casualties.
The Xahastanian forces responded by redirecting the invasion force to the the Badu Parkian Governorate in Mugahan and the Jubilee Park Protectorate. The Xahastanian forces encountered little resistance from forces stationed in the Governorate, with about 3 soldiers holding the line throwing rocks, and only 1 firing his Smith & Wesson Model 10, who gave up after a Xahastanian soldier fired a warning shot. But in the Jubilee Park protectorate, they encountered stiff resistance from the Presidential Guard holding a defensive position around the Capital, commanded by President Hummus McDonnell. Eventually, the Presidential Guard had to pull back into the city itself to avoid taking losses. Fighting became increasingly tough in the capital of the protectorate, Dick Smith Shit. The Presidential Guard held the city at a fortified position, forcing Xahastanian troops to dig in to a defensive position and engage in trench warfare with the Presidential Guard, during which 1 Presidential Guard member was killed during a futile assault attempting to break the siege. The trench warfare went on for 43 hours, with light skirmishes between trenches, with minimal attempts to break the stalemate. The Xahastanian army's supplies were wearing thin, so they decided to call in reinforcements from the United States of Jubilee Park. The combined forces launched an all out assault, with extremely heavy artillery and gunfire, killing 2 Presidential Guard, routing them from the city. This combined effort managed to break the defensive line and capture Dick Smith Shit. The Xahastanian government then established a puppet state in the area called the 'Provisional Government of Free Jubilee Park'. Governance of the state was given to the People's Front. After capturing the two Badu Parkian territories the invasion ceased. The Inner West Micronational Community was outraged and called the invasion a 'senseless act of aggression'. The Inner West Parks Annexation Movement voted to sanction Xahastan and the Provisional Government of Free Jubilee Park. These sanctions have little effect on Xahastan today. Another consequence of this invasion was the re-escalation of tensions between Badu Park and Douglas Grant Park. In response to the invasion, Japitty Cumquat threw bags of urine at the capital of Xahastan and defecated in the Reqqen Airport terminal in 'protest'.
The invasion was ultimately a strategic failure, only capturing the Badu Parkian external territories. From a military standpoint, however, it was a victory for IPCP, killing 4 Presidential Guard, as well as 2 infantry, however, Xahastan suffered a significant death toll of 5 soldiers. The invasion provoked a large scale reformation of the Coalition's military forces, deploying more troops in preparation for conflict. Badu Park had been devastated by this attack, with heavy damage to infrastructure and defence systems, and damage to the moral of the troops after such a large scale invasion. Many Badu Park loyalists are outraged that Mugahanian troops used to defend Badu Parkian homeland, rather than troops from Badu Park itself. The loyalists are among the largest groups pushing for increased military spending by the government.
Hijacking of Virgin Australia Flight 768
On 21 February 2022, Japitty Cumquat planned to "retaliate using unpopular methods of warfare" (enact his revenge through terrorism) against Xahastan for invading Badu Park. He planned to do this by flying over Xahastan in a hijacked aircraft and dropping lit propane tanks in the Prisdinovian Province. On 22 February, Japitty Cumquat bought a ticket to the town of Ballina onboard Virgin Australia and on 23 February, Japitty had Muntart Hoe drive him to the airport. Japitty was carrying a total of 5 propane tanks stacked on a dolly cart and a small backpack containing a bottle of soap and a CD containing his song "Please Leave I Am Doing Cocaine". Japitty proceeded to check in via a kiosk (where he was given many strange looks) and line up for security checks. Upon lining up Japitty was immediately flagged by the system as a serious security threat and detained (this is possibly due to Japitty's previous actions in the airport and aircraft). The airport security questioned him and confiscated the propane tanks and his luggage before begrudgingly releasing him. Angered by this setback, Japitty walked around the airport playing his national anthem until he found a duty free store, where he bought eight plastic bags and a bottle of cheap whisky. After this he proceeded to the bathrooms where he drank all the whisky (in one go) and broke the bottle on the floor, he then fashioned two shivs out of the glass and evenly urinated in seven of the plastic bags. He then placed the bags of urine and the shivs in the one remaining bag. He planned to hijack the plane and drop the bags of urine instead of the propane tanks. The flight was scheduled to depart at 3:00 but was delayed an hour because Japitty had failed to show up on time. The flight was delayed a further hour after japitty forgot his bag of 'bombs' and shivs in a news-agency. The flight finally departed at 6:00. Cumquat was forced to sit at the back of the aircraft by court order.
When the aircraft leveled off Japitty walked to the front of the aircraft and sat in an empty business class seat. Five minutes after that, Japitty got up and screamed 'Fuck You Obay Da Laww' and charged the cockpit. The passengers on board began to laugh and tell him to sit down and to 'stop being such a fool', the mood quickly changed when japitty drew his shiv and stabbed a flight attendant in the stomach and in the the chest who tried to tell him to go back to his seat. She later died in hospital. Japitty turned to the passengers and screamed 'get to da back nowww'. Seeing this unfolding one of the remaining cabin crew contacted the pilots, he told them about the situation and they subsequently opened the cockpit door for him. Japitty then rushed the cockpit door, stabbed the remaining flight attendant in the arm, and proceeded to barge into the cockpit. A violent struggle ensued with Japitty killing the captain of the aircraft and severely wounding the first officer. Japitty taped the unconscious first officer to the jumpseat. Japitty then proceeded to reprogram the autopilot to bring him over Xahastan. It was at this point that Xahastainan soviet era radar picked up the aircraft flying towards their airspace at an unusually fast speed. They sent the MiG-23 to intercept the aircraft. The MiG-23 pilot managed to make contact with Japitty. In anger that his plan was no longer a surprise, he killed the unconscious first officer and under escort from the MiG-23 he landed the flight back at Sydney airport. Ultimately, 3 people were killed and one was injured. Japitty fled the scene, evading the counter-terrorism police unit, and walked back to Badu Park. A warrant for Japitty's arrest has since been issued. However, Japitty's lawyer David Chinchilla attempted to dispute the warrant, although it is not legally possible to do so. The warrant was ultimately cancelled after David Chinchilla launched a civil transport case to reroute busses and somehow managed to reroute a bus directly through the judges house, successfully blackmailing the judge by threatening to begin demolishing his newly completed $3 million house in Mosman.
Operation Conquest & the Treaty of Katoomba
On 28 February 2022, Japitty Cumquat and members of the Legislature of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat came together and formulated a plan to completely end the war. This operation was theorised to end the war by destroying the Imperial Park Colonisation Pact and their will to fight. The plan was that the newly re enforced and re armed Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force with aid from other militaries would combine and invade the Empire of Douglas Grant Park first and then move through Annandale to conquer Xahastan and the United States of Jubilee Park as well as crushing the Johnston's Creek Liberation Army in the process. The newly bolstered Municipal People's Defence Force consisted of 100 men, 50 presidential guard, a Brewster F2A Buffalo, a Goalkeeper CIWS mounted on the back of a stolen pickup truck, a DJI Mavic 3 and over 250 Type 100 submachine guns as well as a small batch of old stick grenades. The new force was also aided by members of the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade who stated they would 'sacrifice there life for the establishment of the caliphate'. This new military force was dubbed "The First Badu Park Incursion Force". The operation began on March 1, and took the nickname "March Victory Invasion".
The forces began to amass close to the south-eastern border of the Empire of Douglas Grant Park, where they began to throw the stick grenades over the border, injuring 8 people. The Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force began to advance into Douglas Grant Park, meeting a detachment of 2 imperial border guards, killing one and capturing the other. The Badu Park incursion force advanced further, meeting insignificant resistance from a machine gun emplacement at the basketball court, resulting in 5 Badu Parkian infantry fatalities. The machine gun emplacement was stormed by 12 Presidential Guard, killing the 2 gunners. Badu Park continued advancing towards lawyerville annihilating the Douglas Grant Parkian defensive positions, killing 6 soldiers, with a reported headshot on commanding officer Chicken Shittypants by a Presidential Guard sniper, and eventually, the Incursion Force captured Lawyerville and Cheezit's son, Kim Un Laptop III. Cheezit McDaniels fled to the McDaniels Space Facility to avoid capture. The Badu Park Incursion Force then began to shell the McDaniels Space Facility and Museum severely injuring Cheezit. After ten minutes of fighting members of BPMPDF finally captured Cheezit McDaniels and Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX. Cheezit McDaniels was tried as a 'war criminal' and sentenced to 90 years in prison (being locked into Supabarn). The Invasion of Douglas Grant Park was a major success for Badu Park and its allies, while suffering 5 casualties, they managed to overthrow the Imperial Regime, achieving their main objective. Badu Parkian military historian Cummy Cummers released this statement on the military performance of Badu Park: "While effective, the extremely large military force utilised by Badu Park was excessive, and rather unnecessary, however Japitty Cumquat's command proved extremely effective, with sound coordination and execution by all members of the Incursion Force".
The fall of the Empire of Douglas Grant Park greatly concerned the Republic of Xahastan who immediately began mobilizing the defence forces and calling in reserves. The Xahastanian forces were aided by a few regiments of the former Imperial Military Force and members of the Johnston's Creek Liberation Army. Their strategy centered on creating a defensive trench to stop the Badu Parkian advance or at least slow them down with heavy casualties. The Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force entered Xahastanian territory and immediately came under a barrage of fire from entrenched Xahastanian machine gunners causing heavy casualties, killing a reported 4 Badu Parkian infantry, but this only temporarily stalled the Badu Parkian advance. The Badu Parkian Incursion Force fanned out and held a defensive position on the road leading to the trench line, utilising their F2A Buffalo for strafing support. The fighting was extremely brutal, with 7 further Badu Parkian casualties, and 13 Xahastanian fatalities. After an hour of fighting the BPMPDF broke through the trench and advanced into the Republic of Xahastan. However the fight was not lost as the 17th Xahastanian Motorized Rifle Division managed to break the Badu Parkian advance in an ambush, and encircle a large group of Badu Parkian troops led by Testicle Garcia. In an act of desperation, Testicle Garcia ordered the troops to charge the Xahastaian line causing mass casualties and severely wounding Garcia. This was the largest loss of life in the entire micronational conflict, with 29 people dead and over 35 severely wounded. This proved to be a major hindrance to the Badu Parkian Advance into Xahastan. The troops began to dig in around the capital of Xahastan and settled in to a war of attrition. After five hours of fighting and a further 13 total casualties, the Xahastanian government surrendered to the Badu Park Municipal Government. With most of the Badu Parkian fighting force gone, the leadership decided to let a member of the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade - Suicide Squad Squad to fly the Brewster F2A Buffalo into the United States of Jubilee Park. This attack seemingly forced Feather Duster McBalls to concede defeat. Soon after the United States of Jubilee Park surrendered the Imperial Park Colonisation Pact was dissolved. In a last attempted to save their micronations the leaders of the Republic of Xahastan, Empire of Douglas Grant Park (excluding Cheezit McDaniels) and the United States of Jubilee Park drafted a 'treaty' to bring to Japitty Cumquat conceding their defeat and requesting the restoration of their independence and the release of Cheezit McDaniels (this treaty would also end the war). They handed the treaty to astute civil transport lawyer and Japitty's personal attorney David Chinchilla who intern handed the treaty to Japitty. Cumquat reluctantly accepted, on the condition that the micronations 'conquered' would have to pay 'reparations', could never establish any military alliance and that Cheezit McDaniels has to cease his nuclear weapons programs. Cheezit refused to cease his nuclear weapons program but the nations agreed to the terms since Cheezit was in jail and 'was in no place to say anything'. Japitty stated 'I will sign this but only in the place that fits it, Katoomba'. The group of micronationals signed the treaty on 2 March, and the war was subsequently ended. The casualties accumulated in these final stages were significant, with Badu Park suffering 42 fatalities and a further 24 injuries, while the IPCP suffered 35 fatalities and a further 15 injuries.
Types of Warfare