Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade
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| Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade | |
|---|---|
 Flag | |
| Abbreviation | DSHWB |
| Type | Religious Militia |
| Classification | Fanatical Japittyist Cult, Cult of Personality, Socialist Religious Movement |
| Orientation | Japittyism, Fanatical Badu Park Nationalism, Ultra Orthodox Japittyism |
| Scripture | Holy Testament of Japitty Cumquat |
| Theology | Japittyism |
| Polity | Hierarchical |
| Governance | Co-Leadership |
| Structure | Militant Organisation |
| Leaders | Vin Nih Tang (April 2021 - Present) Michael 'Larry' Fonzula (July - September 2021, Reinstated December 2021 - Present) |
| High Priest | John Cooper |
| Head Assault Organiser | Tyler Campbell |
| Associations | Badu Park Fraternity of Religion |
| Region | Inner West |
| Headquarters | Badu Park Fraternity of Religion Safe House, St Peters, NSW |
| Founder | Vin Nih Tang and Michael 'Larry' Fonzula |
| Origin | 2021 Badu Park Fraternity of Religion Safe House, St Peters |
| Separated from | Badu Park Municipal People's Army |
| Branched from | Badu Park Fraternity of Religion |
| Meeting Houses | 1 |
| Members | 8 (Pre January 2022 attacks), 3 (Post January 2022 Attacks) |
| Priests | 1 |
| Church buildings | 1 |
| Other name(s) | Fighters of the Temple of Japitty, Badu Park Fraternity of Religion Militant Division |
| Publications | Japitty Is the Coolest (Picture Book) |
The Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade, originally the Fighters of the Temple of Japitty or occasionally the Badu Park Fraternity of Religion Militant Division is a small pro-Badu Parkian fanatical religious militant group operating in the Inner West of Sydney. The group's ideology is an extreme interpretation of the Japittyist Religion, and is distinct from the Japittyist Orthodox Rite.
History
The Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade was established in 2021 by two radical members of the Badu Park Municipal People's Army: Vin Nih Tang and Michael 'Larry' Fonzula. The two were devoted followers of Japittyism, and both attended the Badu Park University of Theology and Cooking, which is a tertiary educational institution managed by the Japittyist Orthodox Rite. They met during their senior year (there is only senior year at this university), and bonded over their belief in Japittyism. They were both invited to join the Badu Park Fraternity of Religion, which is a fanatical religious university fraternity that adopts an extreme view of Japittyism. A recruiter for the fraternity, Lucas Whitfield, introduced Vin Nih Tang to the idea of fanatical Japittyism, and he immediately adopted the belief system, while Michael took more convincing before agreeing to adopt this belief. The pair later graduated and joined the Badu Park Municipal people's Army. There, the pair indoctrinated several other soldiers and began the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade.
They stated that their goals were 'to establish a world wide Badu Parkian state and uphold the rule of Japitty Cumquat domestically and abroad'. The group began the process of accumulating weapons and planning possible attacks. The DSHWB's operation hit a major setback when Vin Nih Tang was arrested for attempting to purchase an AK-47 off a dark web gun market. He was released on bail. The group encountered a second setback when Xahastanian Eyes of the Revolution raided the small janitorial closet that the DSHWB was using as a headquarters and destroyed their bomb making equipment under the grounds that their activities were 'offensive'. The Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade soon declared Xahastan to be an 'enemy of the holy war'. As of current events the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade is operational in the Sydney World War.
Activity & Funding
The Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade is rarely active. There are reported to be around three active members of the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade. The Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade is currently listed by the NSW Police and the Republic of Xahastan as a terrorist organisation. The group is suspected to be funded by Badu Park. There is also a small offshoot group, called the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade - Katoomba Army who mainly perpetrate attacks in Katoomba.
List of Attacks
- 3 January 2022 - a small backpack bomb is detonated in the Xahastanian Basketball Arena. No one was injured
- 15 February 2022 - a member of the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade attempted to assassinate Gerald Ballsniffer, leader of the People's Front. The attempt only failed because the rusted Henry M1860 repeating rifle that they were using jammed. No one was killed or injured.
- 19 February 2022 - three members of the Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade shot and killed journalist Marvin Ass after he 'disrespected' the Holy Testament of Japitty Cumquat by critiquing it.
Ideology & Religious Interpretation
The Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade has no real ideology. They seem to follow Japitty Cumquat's words to there exact conclusion. The group seems to ritualistically worship Japitty Cumquat. The religion that the DSHWB adheres to is known as "Japittyism" which is the belief that Japitty Cumquat is a prophet sent down by aliens to rule the Inner West. The religion centers around the belief that the Inner West is the "holy land" and must be conquered by Japitty. The specific sect of this religion that the DSHWB is affiliated with is known as the "Badu Park Fraternity of Religion" which is a fanatical Japittyist fraternity founded at the Badu Park University of Theology and Cooking. The core belief of this group is that the "holy land" is not limited to the Inner West, but it includes Katoomba as well. The Badu Park Fraternity of Religion is often considered an extremist group. The ultimate goal of the DSHWB is that Japitty must bury a grapefruit on the grounds of the Katoomba Police Station while playing the Badu Park National Anthem in order to trigger the "apocalypse" which is just a 20% off sale at Annandale IGA, specifically for canned vegetables. The DSHWB will do everything necessary to ensure that this religious ideal is fulfilled.
Controversy
The general consensus among public figures is that the DSHWB is a dangerous cult exhibiting characteristics of a terrorist organisation. While the religion worships Japitty as a demigod of sorts, Japitty Cumquat is one of the most vocal sources of opposition to the movement. Japitty, being somewhat of a communist, does not believe in any religion and does not associate Badu Park with any religious movement or ideology. Japitty was interviewed in regards to the group, stating "I think the Holy Warfare Brigade is dumb and stupid, and Michael Fonzula has the intelligence of a potato". In response, the group attempted to assassinate its leader, Michael 'Larry' Fonzula, claiming that Japitty had warned the group that Fonzula was a demon and he must be destroyed. The assassination attempt was unsuccessful, and soon after, the group retracted their statement regarding Fonzula, and he has since been reinstated as a leading figure of the group. While Japitty disagrees with the group's religious interpretation of Badu Park Nationalism, Japitty still reportedly funds the group. The group has also now dubbed Japitty Cumquat as 'Japitty, the unwilling'.
Equipment
The Dick Smith Holy Warfare Brigade has a small number of arms in operation. They are known to use:
- a rusted Henry M1860 repeating rifle: an American Civil War era sixteen-shot .44 caliber rimfire breech-loading lever-action rifle.
- two barley functional Sharps M1863 carbines: Civil War era large-bore, single-shot, falling-block, breech-loading rifles.
- an AK-47: essentially unusable with a broken grip missing stock and broken firing mechanism.
The American Civil War era guns were bought from eBay and due to their state were not seized by Australian Customs. The AK-47 was purchased by Michael 'larry' Fonzula's father in 1982 and was left in his garage until being discovered by Michael in 2021, hence the non functional state.