Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force
 | This article contains profanity or other material which may be considered offensive. |
| Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force | |
|---|---|
 Emblem of the BPMPDF | |
 Flag of the BPMPDF | |
| Founded | 19 September 2020 |
| Current form | 5 January 2022 |
| Service branches |
Affiliated branches:
|
| Headquarters | Badu Park Municipal People's Barracks, Badu Park Chair |
| Leadership | |
|  Japitty Cumquat |
| Chief of Defence | Testicle Garcia |
| Chief Pilot of the Air Force | Dick Smith |
| Head of Unconventional Warfare | Japitty Cumquat |
| Operations Commander | Testicle Garcia |
| Manpower | |
| Military age | 17–82 |
| Conscription | 25 |
| Active personnel | ~200 |
| Reserve personnel | 1 |
| Expenditures | |
| Budget | US$52 |
| Percent of GDP | 7.9% |
| Industry | |
| Domestic suppliers |
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| Foreign suppliers |
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The Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force is responsible for the defence and military operations of Badu Park.
Branches
Badu Park Municipal People's Army
The Badu Park Municipal People's Army is responsible for the defence of the Badu Park territory. The Badu Park Municipal People's Army originally consisted of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat, and two enlisted soldiers, who were exclusively paid in V-Bucks, however, the army has since grown in size due to the Sydney World War. The Badu Park Municipal People's Army has 1 slightly sharpened butter knife between 3 people as well as a rusted non-functional go-kart with 2 sticks duct taped to it. There BPMPA has made plans to construct a new tank, the M60 Main Battle Tank (depicted in the gallery below) to replace the Go-Kart. The M60 Main Battle Tank is still in early production phases, partly due to the fact that President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat has no means of acquiring a machine gun and cannot do so legally. During the Sydney World War, Badu Park greatly expanded their military, paying mercenaries to join the army, and the mercenaries provide their own weapons. The new and improved army consists of two brigades of 30 infantry, commanded by Field Admiral Testicle Garcia, who was a soldier in the Cuban Revolutionary Army.
Presidential Guard
The Presidential Guard is the personal bodyguard of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat, as well as a secondary special forces division, alongside the Badu park Municipal Special Forces. The Presidential Guard have the role of protecting Japitty Cumquat, and presidential possessions. The Presidential Guard are directly commanded by Japitty himself, and are not under the control of the Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force. The Presidential Guard is by far the best equipped. They are made up of 25 (10 deployed and 15 reserve) specially trained armed security operators, used to protect cargo ships from piracy. He exclusively pays them in V Bucks. The unit was founded on 28 December 2021. They are all former South African SAS. They use type 100 Nambu submachine guns (seven of which are non-functional replicas, the others are functional replicas, however, they have limited lethal ammo). They are also equipped with black raincoats, red hats and black balaclavas.
The Badu Park Municipal People's Navy is the nation's primary naval force. The Badu Park Municipal People's Navy consists of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat as well as two sailors, one of which is a plant. The Badu Park Municipal People's Navy has 2 vessels of which one is operational. The first vessel is the BPMN Fuck You Obey Da Laww, it is an inflatable paddle board with a small speaker taped to it for playing the national anthem. The vessel was heavily damaged by an oyster during a routine patrol of Johnstons creek, the vessel sank but was recovered. An hour later and is now being restored. The second vessel is the Wigram Road class patrol boat, the BPMN Badu Park National Anthem, it is a small raft built from cardboard and wood. The BPMN Badu Park National Anthem's operations include mine laying (throwing bags of urine into Johnstons creek), ASW patrols and shore raids (throwing bags of urine at people walking past Johnstons creek).
Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force
The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force is the nation's primary aerial defence force. The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force consists of President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat as well as Captain Dick Smith who is the air force's commander and pilot. Captain Dick Smith had a falling out with President General Colonel Japitty Cumquat which resulted in the President General Colonel attacking Dick Smith. He was subsequently demoted from Lordly Captain to just Captain. The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Force currently operates one Air Hogs - Sonic Plane High-Speed Flyer with Real Motor Sounds, which was procured from Amazon.com.au. It has no weapons or recording equipment. The BPMPAF's one aircraft has only seen combat once: during Operation Piss off Joshy Boi with Tax Evasion. During this operation the small RC plane was flown over Sydney Kingsford Smith International Airport causing the airport to shut down for 5 hours causing catastrophic delays and the ditching of two flights into Sydney Harbour, Dick Smith was subsequently arrested for this action but was released on probation the next day.
Badu Park Municipal People's Air Defence Unit
The Badu Park Municipal People's Air Defence Unit is a defensive joint military and militia unit that utilizes drones and anti-aircraft weapons to defend the Badu Parkian airspace from air-based attacks. They also fulfil a secondary role in missile defence, using their surface-to-air weapons to eliminate missile threats.
Badu Park Municipal People's Tactical Missile Division
The Badu Park Tactical Missile Division is a military division that operates the missile and heavy artillery assets of the BPMPDF.
Badu Park Security Force
The Badu Park Security Force is a light ground force used for the defence of Badu Park territory and is not deployed outside of Badu Park. They are deployed with 3 FN FALs.
Badu Park 'Cyber Warfare' Brigade
The Badu Park Municipal People's Defence Force also maintains a 'Cyber Warfare Brigade'. Japitty Cumquat has made the claim that his Cyber Warfare Brigade has a supercomputer capable of hacking into anywhere. In reality, the 'supercomputer' is just a 1st generation iPad with a cracked screen and broken home button. This 'supercomputer' is not actually capable of much, due to the fact that Japitty has intentionally installed 3 different types of ransomware to 'make it immune to hackers'. The iPad is also infested with adware caused by Japitty trying to install Minecraft for free. He maintains that Dick Smith is a qualified cyber security expert who is capable of "rigging the Australian Election". Dick Smith has subsequently refuted these claims on the grounds that he failed kindergarten and maintains that Japitty is delusional and needs to see a doctor about his brain injuries.
Badu Park Secret Police
The Badu Park Secret Police is the national investigation bureau of Badu Park as well as the intelligence agency. They use a stolen van to arrest (abduct) Inner West Council workers and bring them to Badu Park to interrogate them. Once they get the information about the location of the council headquarters (although they already know where it is), they release the council worker. The Badu Park Secret Police has 2 police officers, one to drive the van and the other to abduct the council worker.
Badu Park Municipal People's 19th of September Revolutionary Communist Japitty Cumquat's Personal Presidential Orchestra and Guard of the Presidential Bathhouse
The BPMP19SRCJCPPOGPB, or the Badu Park Municipal People's Orchestra and Bathhouse Guard is the ceremonial band branch of the Badu Park military, as well as Japitty Cumquat's personal bodyguard unit when he is bathing. The band members must stand guard at the entrance of the bath to protect him from assassination and rescue him if he drowns. He does not permit the band to use weapons when guarding him, as he fears they may attempt to kill him while he is bathing, so they must use their musical instruments to fend off attackers if the situation arises. The branch has 1 unit, the United Armed Band of the 19th of September Orchestral Division of the Guards of the Royal Bathing Quarters and Venerated Musical Army, of which their commanding officer is Conductor Admiral Japitty Cumquat. The band features 3 full time musicians; one plays the clarinet, another plays the harmonica, and a final one hits a shovel against a block of wood as an improvised drum. Japitty is also in the band, and plays the recorder. All band members aside from Japitty Cumquat are conscripts. The band has the highest conscription rate of all branches in the Badu Park military, however it has the lowest recruitment rate. Conscripts are given an instrument at random and expected to play at least 3 consecutive notes successfully to be recruited into the band, with only 4 successes in history. The 4th conscript died during the only engagement the unit has ever fought in. During the conscription process, a conscript must play 3 consecutive notes on the instrument they were given, without hesitation or failure, and those who fail are executed on the spot, as conscripts cannot choose their instrument.
The band was forced into battle during the Sydney World War, with the aim of charging a Douglas Grant Park defensive line, with one band member, who played the tuba, being fatally shot in the chest.
Ranks
Commissioned Officer Ranks
| Rank | Army | Navy / Coast Guard | Air Force / ADU | Marine Corps | Presidential Guard | Johnston's Creek Territorial Field Troops | Tactical Missile Division | Secret Police | Cyber Warfare Brigade | Border Guards | Orchestra and Bathhouse Guards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| OF-5 | General Colonel | Admiral Colonel | Supreme Air Corporal | General Colonel | General Colonel | General Colonel | General Colonel | Commissioner Colonel | Commissioner Colonel | General Colonel | Maestro Colonel |
| OF-4 | Field Admiral | Captain Admiral | Air Admiral | Field Admiral | Field Admiral | River Admiral | Chief Missile Officer | Detective Admiral | Field Hacker | Field Admiral | Condutcer Admiral |
| OF-3 | General | Admiral | Marshal | General | General | General | N/A | Superintendant | Hacker General | General | Conductor |
| OF-2 | Major | Captain | Commodor | Major | Major | Commandant | Commandant | Chief Inspector | Chief Hacker | Major | Drum Major |
| OF-1 | Captain | Commodor | Captain | Captain | Captain | Captain | Captain | Inspector | Captain of Hacking | Captain | Harmonica Soloist |
Enlisted Ranks
| Rank | Army | Navy / Coast Guard | Air Force / ADU | Marine Corps | Presidential Guard | Johnston's Creek Territorial Field Troops | Tactical Missile Division | Secret Police | Cyber Warfare Brigade | Border Guards | Orchestra and Bathhouse Guards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| E-5 | Sergeant | Petty Officer | Sergeant | Sergeant | Sergeant | Sergeant | Sergeant | Sergeant | Sergeant of Hacking | Sergeant | Sergeant of Musical Warfare |
| E-4 | Corporal | Really Good Sailor | Really Good Pilot | Corporal | Corporal | Corporal | Missile Specialist | Senior Constable | Specialist Hacker | Corporal | Bathhouse Guardsman |
| E-3 | Gunner | Normal Sailor | Normal Pilot | Lance Corporal | Guardsman | Gunner | Missile Generalist | Chief Constable | Minecrafter | Trooper | Expert Musician |
| E-2 | Private | Sailor | Pilot | Private | Private | Public | Private | Constable | Hacker | Public | Musician |
| E-1 | Recruit | Apprentice | Recruit | Recruit | Guardsman Recruit | Public Recruit | Recruit | Trainee | Trainee Hacker | Public Recruit | Conscript |
Equipment
Army Equipment
| Model | Origin | Type | Quantity | Image | Details |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Slightly Sharpened Butter Knife | Australia | Melee Weapon | 1 | 
|
Stolen from Coles. Used as Japitty's personal defence weapon. |
| Type 94 Nambu | Empire of Japan | Pistol | 1 | 
|
Used by Japitty Cumquat to steal petrol from 7-Eleven. |
| Type 100 submachine gun | Empire of Japan | submachine gun | 11 | 
|
Procured from western Sydney bikies. Used only by the Presidential Guard |
| Type 9 AFV | Badu Park | Armoured fighting vehicle | 1 | 
|
Rusty pedal cart with a weed eater motor for propulsion |
| M60 Main Battle Tank | Badu Park | Main Battle Tank | 2 planned | 
|
1 prototype destroyed, 1 still under construction |
| BP-21 MRL | Badu Park | Field artillery - multiple rocket launcher | 1 | 
|
Designed by Field Admiral Testicle Garcia to fill the role of a long-ranged artillery piece capable of reaching the Empire of Douglas Grant Park. Adapted from the Toyota Tundra vehicle frame, the BP-21 utilises an M29 U.S Mortar as it's weapon. |
| Model | Origin | Type | Quantity | Image | Details |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 'Rusted Van' Class Patrol Boat | Badu Park | Patrol Boat | 1 (Under Restoriation) | 
|
Stolen from Anaconda outdoors, Named BPMN Fuck You Obey Da Laww |
| 'Assault Charge' Class Frigate | Xahastan | Frigate | 1 | 
|
Gifted by Xahastan, Named BPMN Badu Park National Anthem |
| 'Fuck' Class Hydrographic Survey Vessel | Badu Park | Hydrographic Survey Vessel | 1 | 
|
Surf board stolen from Decathlon, Named BPMN Fortified Shelter |
| 'Extortion' Class Guided Missile Cruiser | Badu Park | Class Guided Missile Cruiser | 1 | 
|
Kayak stolen from Decathlon, Named BPMN Discord Server |
| 'Polluted Lake' Class SSBN | Badu Park | Nuclear Missile Submarine | 1 | 
|
Small cylinder constructed out of cardboard, Named BPMN Japitty Cumquat has a Big Peen |
Air Force Equipment
| Model | Origin | Type | Quantity | Image | Details |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Air Hogs - Sonic Plane High-Speed Flyer with Real Motor Sounds | United States | Attack Aircraft | 1 | 
|
Procured from Amazon.com |
| Brewster F2A Buffalo | United States | Air Superiority Fighter | 1 | 
|
Stolen from the HARS Museum. Was under restoration, rusted, missing components and significantly damaged. |
| Boeing 727 | United States | Bomber/Patrol/Transport | 1 | 
|
Stolen by Japitty Cumquat from the HARS Museum, 'Landed' (crashed) into Kennards Self Storage |
Air Defence Unit
| Model | Origin | Type | Quantity | Image | Details |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Air Hogs - Sonic Plane High-Speed Flyer with Real Motor Sounds | United States | Air Defence Fighter | 1 |
|
Procured from Amazon.com |
| Goalkeeper CIWS | Netherlands | Close-in weapons system (CIWS) | 1 | 
|
Stolen from a British military scrapyard after it was removed from a Type 22 Batch 3 Frigate. Surprisingly, it is still fully operational. It has 15,000 rounds of stolen 30 mm ammunition. |
| DJI Mavic 3 | China | Anti-missile UAV | 1 | 
|
Stolen from a man in Badu Park as we was landing it. |
| Badu Park SAM-12 | Badu Park | Anti-aircraft surface-to-air-missile system, secondary role of anti-missile system | 1 | 
|
Designed by Field Admiral Testicle Garcia to fill the role of a short ranged air defence artillery system capable of defeating enemy aerial threats, particularly enemy aircraft and UAVs, while also possessing a second capability of defeating enemy missiles. Adapted from the Toyota Tundra vehicle frame, the SAM-12 utilises an M29 U.S Mortar as it's weapon. |