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Geographical areas: London, UK
Origin: ~January 2008, Clubhausia
Main denominations:  • Western Pishism
 • Lorentian Pishism
 • Fizonian Pishism
 • Eastern Pishism
Members: Unknown; possibly extinct

Pishism is the inclusive name given to the legends and beliefs which were held by the inhabitants of Clubhausia and by the many nations involved in the Great Ruislip War. While there were many varying traditions of Pishism, they can be generally divided into four main "denominations" - East,Lorentian,Fizonian and West. The practitioners of Pishism shared many main beliefs, with most of the divergence being due to the War.


Western Pishism

The first, and arguably largest denomination of Pishism, Pishism was founded around the late 2000s, first mentioned as a mispronunciation of Fish by a guest to the Clubhausian local school, and was made quickly into a religious following. It introduced many rituals and sacred sites of Pish, and church services were held around Clubhausia for Pish and Pish's Prophets. It's unknown how long it lasted, but was largely forgotten when the Year 6's went to High School.

Eastern Pishism

After Prophet Pebbles discovered more facts about Pish in a vision, she began to implement major reforms, which some saw as against the wishes of Pish. It was largely followed by the female members of Pishism as it gave them more freedom, and was officially supported by Senator Amelia, granting it equal status to Western Pishism in Clubhausia. It picked up support in 2014 by being a non-violent religious group open to all from all nations, yet even it's art was destroyed.

Arguably the longest lasting, Pishism survived in this form until around 2015, where Prophet Pebbles renounced her title with Amelia's support. However, it is now the only denomination recognised by Lytera, owing to it's popularity.

Lorentian Pishism

When John, Emperor of Lorentia declared Empire of Lorentia as an independent state, he twisted Pishism to suit his needs, calling the other forms of it 'false'. He ordered any Pishism structure not built by him or approved to be destroyed, leading to a large scale destruction of Pish objects and Clubhausian relics.

It was largely wiped out in July 2014, where the Battle of Bourne saw the religious objects destroyed.

Fizonian Pishism

When Zoe, President of Fizona declared Republic of Fizona as an independent state, she made Pishism a set of ideals more then a religion, making it almost like State Atheism. It acted more as guidelines for life, with the ceremonies, prophets and statues done away with, but the mythos kept.

It was largely wiped out in July 2014, where the Battle of Bourne saw Fizona defeated.


Main beliefs

Despite there being varying traditions within Pishism, the main beliefs held by Pishists were the same. All believed that Pish was a being from long ago who acted as a spirit in Ruislip, bringing good karma. They also believed in supernatural forces and entities, some of whom were malevolent, some benevolent.

The leaders of the religion were called 'Prophet', with the most famous being Prophet Pebbles, who's radical teaching inspired a split in Pishism. While the Western Pish Church was largely static in changes, Eastern Pishism developed the 'theology' of Pish far more. Not all Prophets, however, were recognised by each sect. During the Great War, both John and Zoe declared themselves Prophets, and didn't recognise the other, as an example. Many celebrities were also given the title of 'Prophet', with the claim being that their support was due to Pish intervening in their lives.

The central belief of Pishism was that of Pish, the legendary warrior from long ago, who did good deeds for the people of what would become Ruislip in the middle ages, a sort of holy robin hood. While the exact year isn't known, each denomination has it's own ideas. Pish could intervene in lives, and many events at the local school were attributed to her.

Eastern beliefs

Prophet Pebbles, once the high prophet of the West, claimed in a vision she had seen the 'full tale' of Pish. Pish had a cousin, known and Einaeb, who was jealous of her good nature, so killed and ate her. She also discovered the full name of Pish, Pish Hobbit Poppadom Minion Healy. Eastern Pishism largely claimed that Einaeb was a satanic figure, and was responsible for all the bad events at school. It introduced many new traditions and rituals to please Pish, and to ward off Einaeb. These beliefs were adopted by both Lorentian and Fizonian denominations, who both argued the other was led by a reincarnated Einaeb.

Many people have been believed to be reincarnations of Einaeb, including John, after he destroyed Pish's grave. Some of the people believed at the time to be reincarnations of Einaeb were:

  • Molly
  • Adolf Hitler
  • Benito Mussolini
  • Osama Bin Laden
  • Miss Mapply
  • Davenport
  • Maryniak
  • Van-Fossil
  • Emperor John
  • President Zoe

Sacred Places

The Tri-Point

A collection of three lines that have a space in the centre, it was argued as the optimum place to contact Pish, with the number 3 being considered lucky. All denominations used it, leading it to become a site of many battles in the Great War. As of 2019, it still exists.

The Four Sanctuaries

An Orange, Red, Blue and Green circle in each corner of the school playground with the word 'SAFE' written in them. They were considered equal in value, though the red was used most often due to it's location. Often used in the 'religious sports' of Tag and Bulldog, the circles no longer existed as of 2019, apparently painted over.

The Church of Pish

A wooden gazebo built on the School Field, it was quickly converted into a place to preach the will of Pish to younger years in 2012 after being built. It became popular due to it's secluded nature and became a place to be free of School Rules. As of 2019, it still exists.

The Grave of Pish

A stone slab on the Hausia fields created as a memorial to an architect, it quickly became considered as Pish's grave, as Pish was believed to have shaped the land. However, Eastern Pish Believers believed it isn't the grave, and that Pish was never buried, which is why she can communicate with her followers. As of 2019, it still exists.

The Monument of Pish

A smaller grave hand-built inside the Clubhaus, it was considered a shine to Pish, and acted as a sort of funeral urn for her. However, in the Great Ruislip War, it was largely destroyed by the supporters of Lorentia, with it completely gone by 2019.


Not All Prophets were considered prophets by each denomination, as shown below.

Prophet Western Pishism Eastern Pishism Lorentian Pishism Fizonian Pishism
Pish Yes Yes
As Pish Hobbit Poppadom Minion Healy
As Pish Hobbit Poppadom Minion Healy
As Pish Hobbit Poppadom Minion Healy
Pebbles Yes/No
Yes Yes No
Zimon Yes No No No
Lol The Zombie No Yes Yes No
Mr Smith No Yes Yes No
Molly Yes Yes/No
Yes No
The Architect Yes
(As Pish herself)
Yes Yes No