Empire of Douglas Grant Park
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Empire of Douglas Grant Park | |
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FlagFlag
Coat of ArmsCoat of arms
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| Motto: God Save Cheezit | |
| Anthem: Blessed Be Our Epic Nukes | |
| Capital and largest city | Lawyerville |
| Official languages | English |
| Demonym(s) | Douglas Grant Parkian |
| Government | Absolute Monarchy |
• Supreme King Emperor | Cheezit McDaniels |
• Imperial Laptop and Mayor of Lawyerville | Kim Un Laptop III |
| Legislature | Imperial Council of Cheezit McDaniels and the Empire of Douglas Grant Park |
| Establishment | 2020 |
| Population | |
• Census | 15 (claimed), 3 (actual estimate) |
| Currency | Stale Cheesit |
| Time zone | Australian Eastern Standard Time |
The Empire of Douglas Grant Park or EDGP is an Absolute monarchy based in Sydney, Australia. It was founded in 2020 by Cheezit McDaniels. The state currently has a population of 15 (claimed by the Imperial Census Bureau) and has one major city.
History
The Empire of Douglas Grant Park was founded in 2020 by Cheezit McDaniels, Cheezit McDaniels founded the Empire of Douglas Grant Park after being removed from Broadway JB-HI-FI (for the 18th time). after being exiled from JB-HI-FI he discovered Douglas Grant Park and made his way to a small children's park within Douglas Grant Park and upon his subsequent arrival at the park, most patrons quickly departed. He re-named the children's park to Lawyerville. After this he was approached by two Sydney police officers and asked to vacate the premises, he refused under reason that he was in need of 'shelter' and that he 'did not like houses'. He was arrested and removed from the park, but came back the next day. The current empire was founded after this moment.
Establishment of the 'First Order of the Solar System Empire'
On the 24th of May 2022, in the midst of the Sydney World War, Cheezit McDaniels re-declared his intentions to colonise the galaxy and began to make 'preparations' for him and a group of other 'colonists to launch into space and beginning a galactic conquest. He reportedly got the idea from watching Star Wars chapter 4. He subsequently bought a small shipping container full of fire crackers and a kilo of freeze dried chicken and spaghetti. They then began to prepare the 'Colonisation' Class Space Shuttle, Independence of Lawyerville for 'takeoff'. Cheezit and three other colonists (Graham McDaniles, Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX, and Kim Un Laptop III) bordered the ship with Cheezit assuming the role of 'space captain'. Cheezit began the 'pre launch checks' with Graham McDaniles closing all the ships exists with cardboard while Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX charted a course to the planet Mars. Cheezit the instructed a member of the Imperial Military Force to light the large amount of firecrackers taped to the outside while he began the countdown. The crew then took there seats, with Graham McDaniles, Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX, and Kim Un Laptop III sitting on the lower level (with the food) and Cheezit sitting in the 'cockpit'. The firecrackers subsequently went off causing major injures to the crew sitting on the lower level, melting the rubber floors and setting the rope structure on fire. The smoke and fire began to engulf the ship with Cheezit and his crew 'abandoning ship'. After the ordeal Kim Un Laptop III was rushed to hospital after sustaining severe lacerations and mild burns. He was also treated for smoke inhalation. Both Graham McDaniels and Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX sustained mild burns as well. After this complete blunder of a launch Cheezit McDaniels declared the establishment of the 'First Order of the Solar System Empire' however this statement was mostly meaningless.
Geography
The Empire of Douglas Grant Park is located within Douglas Grant Park and it's capital is located in Lawyerville (an ex-children's park).
Wildlife
The Empire of Douglas Grant Park has no native wildlife and is mostly devoid of nature.
Infrastructure & Transport
The Empire of Douglas Grant Park has a small but developed road network that connects Lawyerville to the McDaniels Space Facility and Museum. There is also a highway under construction that will connect Douglas Grant Park to Badu Park, with it being named the 'Japitty Cumquat is Badu Highway'. Japitty Cumquat also reportedly supports the highway's construction as it will 'give me a better path to invade Douglas Grant Park in the future', with Cheezit McDaniels stating that there will be imperial military patrols to 'ensure peace'. Douglas Grant Park also operates the only "spaceport" in the Inner West, with the facility being dubbed as the 'McDaniels Space Facility and Museum'.
Politics
The politics of the Empire of Douglas Grant Park take place in the framework of an Absolute monarchy, whereas Cheezit McDaniels is the supreme leader. There are no political parties or parliament. However Cheezit McDaniels has an 'Imperial Advisory Council' consisting of Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX and Kim Un Laptop III. This council functions to 'advise' Cheezit McDaniels on his decisions however they are always ignored.
The Mayor of Lawyerville and Imperial Laptop is Cheezit's son, Kim Un Laptop III. His younger second son, Kim Un Laptop XVII (nicknamed March 12 3:12 PM) wanted the job, but was refused under the ground of a stupid nickname. March 12 3:12 PM left the empire to pursue engineering, even though he can't read.
Imperial Laptop
The Imperial Laptop is a government position unique to Douglas Grant Park. It is a combination of a Prime Minister, Leader of the Armed Forces, and Crown Prince of Douglas Grant Park. The position is always held by the eldest child of the Emperor, unless the eldest child is deemed unfit, to which the next eldest that is deemed fit is given the position. The Office of the Imperial Laptop is currently held by Kim Un Laptop III. The Imperial Laptop maintains little power, and is usually an advisory position.
Legitimacy of Rule
Cheezit McDaniels maintains that he is the 'sole legitimate ruler' Empire of Douglas Grant Park but his claim to the throne is frequently contested by a group called the 'Liberation Society of Douglas Grant Park'. The groups claims that they 'discovered' Douglas Grant Park before Cheezit McDaniels with the group planning to establish a 'Republic of Douglas Grant Park' in the territory. Cheezit McDaniels claims that the group is a front used by Japitty Cumquat to undermine his rule.
Military
The Imperial Military Force of Douglas Grant Park only consists of Cheezit McDaniels, his brother in law Graham, and his friend he met online while pirating Shrek 2 Reginald "Jonno" McEdwardstein IX, as well as 2 slightly sharp sticks.
The Imperial Military Force has four branches: The Imperial Army, the Imperial Navy, Imperial Marine Corps and the Imperial Space Force.
Equipment of the Imperial Military Force
The Imperial Military Force of Douglas Grant Park's Imperial Liberation Army has many forms of equipment such as:
- 2 slightly sharpened spears (sticks)
- M12 Heavy Main Battle Tank (Rusted non-functional Go-Kart with 2 sticks duct taped to it, which was captured from Badu Park)
The Imperial Space Force's equipment includes:
- 1 'Colonisation' Class Space Shuttle (rocket shaped play equipment)
- 1 'Strep Throat' Class Interplanetary Launch Vehicle (a model rocket 'procured' from Hobbyco)
The Imperial Navy is issued with:
- 1 kitchen knife (blunt and rusted)
- 1 "Home Invasion" Class Coastal Defence Frigate (a rusty dingy stolen from Inner West Council)
- 1 "Felony" Class Landing Vessel (another rusty dingy stolen from Inner West Council)
- 1 "Bone Marrow" Class Tariff Collection Cutter (a third rusty dingy, which was stolen from Ray's Outdoors)
The Imperial Marine Corps is issued with:
- 1 "Rifle" (a non functional Nerf N-Strike Deploy)
- 1 "Injury" Class Lightweight Beach Landing Vessel (A moldy canoe forcefully apprehended from an elderly man in Sydney Harbour)
War Time Military Advancements
During the Sydney World War, the military of the empire greatly expanded using mercenaries rom criminal organizations, who provided their own weapons, which are functional firearms.
Space Force
Cheezit McDaniels also claims that he has a 'Space Force'. In reality this is just a rocket shaped piece of play equipment with no actual electronic components in it, as well as a half broken model rocket stolen from the returns section of Hobbyco. McDaniels has released his plans to colonise mars by 2023, but so far he cannot even get 10 meters off the ground. His plans to colonise mars by 2023 have been greatly hindered by the ongoing Sydney World War.
Maritime Defence Force
The Maritime Defence Force is a maritime police unit that is responsible for protecting and controlling waterways, specifically Johnston's creek. The force uses a paddle board to survey Johnston's Creek, and operates a ground unit of 5 personnel with 1 barely functional FAL as their weapon. The unit was created to protect Douglas Grant Park citizens in Johnston's Creek after the Johnston's Creek Liberation Army attacked imperial backed settlers sent to live in the creek to "control overpopulation" according to Cheezit McDaniels. The unit has engaged in 1 "firefight" with a Johnston's Creek resident who reportedly "advanced into Douglas Grant Park waters" after he stepped into the creek to wash dirt off his hands. He was unarmed and was fatally shot 3 times.
Controversy Surrounding Nuclear Weapons
Although the Empire of Douglas Grant Park does not have the capability to develop nuclear weapons, McDaniels has announced the creation of the Imperial Nuclear Weapons Program, which is aimed at developing and testing intercontinental ballistic missiles to be used against the Badu Park Municipal Government. This influenced the breakout of the Sydney World War, and also damaged the international reputation of the empire and McDaniels himself, with the program receiving international condemnation (only by Badu Park and the Mugahan Rump State).
On 3 January 2022, Cheezit McDaniels announced that the Empire of Douglas Grant Park is only months away from refining weapons grade uranium, however there is no substantial evidence to support these claims other than imperial propaganda from Cheezit himself. Analysts say it is significantly unlikely that the Empire of Douglas Grand Park has access to nuclear weapons, with journalist Fabian Gutternuts stating "It is beyond impossible that Cheezit has access to ICBMs. In fact Cheezit McDaniels is significantly more likely to related to Jesus Christ than he is to see any success with his nuclear weapons program. Also I think he has brain damage." This statement reportedly made Cheezit McDaniels cry. Astute civil transport lawyer David Chinchilla later stated "Cheezit began a micronational arms race, of which his empire is the only competing nation, and he is somehow losing." This reportedly also made Cheezit McDaniels cry.
Imperial National Security Division
The Imperial National Security Division is Douglas Grant Park's intelligence agency, responsible for "protecting security assets of national interest", which mostly entails spying on the Badu Park Government and attempting to establish Imperial regimes in Badu Park.
The Imperial National Security Division also maintains the Department for the Maintenance of the Imperial Regime, sometimes referred to as the Imperial Anti Revolution Department, which is the state's political intelligence contingent. The DMIR was developed to prevent the spread of communism within the country, as well as limiting anti-imperial sentiment abroad. The DMIR has a prominent role in "maintaining diplomatic relations with other nations" which involves rigging elections of enemy states in the Empire's favour. They have only ever successfully rigged 1 election, in the People's Republic of Nguyenistan, when Imperial ally, King Emperor Supreme Leader Admiral General Colonel Comrade Holy Chaplain Tan Nguyen, had insufficiently protected his position and had failed to secure his win in the election, as the Nguyenistan intelligence service had failed to fully eliminate the possibility of a free election in Nguyenistan, and the DMIR was "required to intervene" according to Cheezit McDaniels, to secure Nguyen's victory. This action was condemned by the Republic of Xahastan, as well as the Badu Park Municipal Government, as the Badu Park Secret Police were attempting to incite a revolution and overthrow Tan Nguyen, and were now unable to do so.
Diplomatic relations
The following nations are formally recognized by the Republic of Xahastan and maintain diplomatic relations:
