Kickassia (film)

Kickassia
Kickassia
	Official cover
Directed by	Doug Walker
Written by	Doug Walker ; Michael Michaud ; Rob Walker
Starring	Doug Walker; Lindsay Ellis; Lewis Lovhaug
Release date	17 October 2010
Running time	91 minutes
Country	United States; Molossia
Language	English
Box office	N/A

Kickassia is a 2010 American-Molossian comedy-action film produced and released by Channel Awesome. The film is centered upon the Nostalgia Critic (Doug Walker) and a host of other internet personalities, including the Nostalgia Chick (Lindsay Ellis), Phelous (Phelan Porteous), and the Cinema Snob (Brad Jones); upon gathering a band of his fellow internet reviewers and personalities, the Nostalgia Critic attempts to conduct a takeover of the one-acre nation of Molossia, as the first step towards total domination over the world. The film was written by Michael Michaud, Rob Walker, and directed by web comedian Doug Walker (also known as the Nostalgia Critic). The music was composed by Michael Schiciano, who had also composed music for the Nostalgia Critic's channel, Atop the Fourth Wall, Read Left to Right, and Hagan Reviews, along with other primarily review-based series.

Plot

Part 1

Molossia is a small micronation, located outside of Reno, Nevada. The president, Kevin Baugh, acts as the nation's leader, maintaining peace and order. Molossia is a peaceful and simple country, that has never witnessed any intense violence within its borders. The Nostalgia Critic aspires of taking over the small country, using it as a springboard for future domination over the planet. He personally issues a formal warning to the president on Molossian soil, in advance of his looming invasion, encouraging him not to put up resistance. The Critic prepares for his invasion by calling a number of his fellow reviewers on the phone, informing them that "It's time,"; this causes confusion among his large group of friends, almost all of which were unaware of the Critic's plans. The Critic purchases plane tickets to fly everyone to Nevada, and has them all stay together in a single hotel room. While the gang of reviewers is large apathetic about their involvement in the Critic's plot for world domination, they are easily roused and made excitable following an inspiring speech by their leader, making allusions to the Nazis and their motivation. The Critic asks the Nostalgia Chick to act as the soon-to-be-created nation of Kickassia's vice president, and she obliges. Back in the Molossian government building, president Baugh and Fritz von Baugh, the Minister of Keeping Things Orderly (Baugh in another costume), discuss their strategy for repelling the invasion; von Baugh tells the president not to worry too much, but to keep Molossian defenses high. The Critic and his army show up, unarmed, at Molossia, and charge at the president, who walks out of the safety of the government building to meet them. When they get close, he brandishes a firearm, frightening the invaders into retreating. Back at the hotel, the army of reviewers debates upon how to successfully invade Molossia, resolving to use weapons after Phelous suggests it.

Part 2

That night, the Critic speaks with The Spoony One, requesting that he unleash Dr. Insano from inside of him, in order to help the invasion succeed, but Spoony refuses, claiming that he "left the madness behind [him] a long time ago." The next morning, the army gathers outside of the government building, catching president Baugh by surprise. The Critic orders a charge, and his forces descend upon the government house, facing an artillery bombardment. The invaders reach a fence, but conquer it by means of a footstool. Baugh, in a last stand, meets the army alone, with nothing but a katana. He teleports around, confusing the Critic's forces, but is bested by 2D Lee, who transforms into 3D Lee, disarming Baugh, and forcing him to retreat into the government building. The Critic's forces enter the building and find Fritz von Baugh, who tells them that the president ran out the door, and they have won. The Critic gives yet another speech on his idea of democracy and equality.

Part 3

Chris Larios conducts a report on the newly born nation of Kickassia on behalf of Transmission Awesome News, examining Kickassia's economy, military, foreign relations, treasury, etc. while also interviewing the Critic, who is acting as president, and the Nostalgia Chick, who is acting as the vice president. Following the interview, the Cinema Snob attempts to explain Kickassia's struggling financial position to the Critic, who blows him off in favor of watching Hogan's|Heroes. Phelous offers a solution to the Critic: set up a tourism industry, selling trinkets to visitors; the Critic blows him off as well, but appropriates his idea as his own. Fritz von Baugh begins to encourage doubt of the Critic's leadership among his subordinates: Phelous, Cinema Snob, and Benzaie. During a military training exercise, Linkara discovers a receipt for 20 tons of dynamite, purchased by the Critic. Fritz von Baugh watches with a smile on his face, the seeds of his counterrevolution having been planted.

Part 4

The Nostalgia Chick, vying for her superior's position, attempts to kill the Critic by poisoning his tea, but the attempt fails when the Critic remembers that he doesn't like tea, and refuses to drink it. She also tried to shoot the Critic but failed, and comically did jumping jacks out of frame towards the kitchen. Angry Joe, one of the Critic's military commanders, has Cinema Snob meet the rest of the Critic's underlings at the hotel room. Upon his arrival, he is presented with the receipt, but he expresses doubt in its genuineness, saying it could have been forged by von Baugh. He opts to go and talk to the Critic one-on-one to try and figure out what's happening. When he questions the Critic, however, it is revealed that he actually did buy 20 tons of dynamite, and has it wired underneath all of Molossia. He explains to the Cinema Snob that he will not allow anybody to take Molossia from him without blowing it up, along with himself and everyone else in it. Fully convinced of the Critic's insanity, Cinema Snob reconvenes with the others at the hotel, and they formulate a plan to overthrow their leader. On the other side of the door, Film Brain, one of the Critic's loyal followers, spies on the group, listening to their plans. He runs back to the Critic and tells him everything. The Critic concludes that Cinema Snob must be put on trial, and he and Film Brain arrange for Cinema Snob's capture. Snob is invited to the hotel room for a meeting, but is ambushed by Film Brain, and brought to trial. He is found guilty of his crimes, and while everybody present opposes the ruling, the Critic, acting as judge, overrules them, and sentences the Snob to be banished from Kickassia forever. That night, the Critic enters his bedroom to find it transformed into a copy of his old review room, and he is confronted by Ma-Ti, from Captain Planet. Ma-Ti urges the Critic to remember who he used to be, and to put an end to his tyranny, warning that he will fall if he does not. The Critic ignores his advice, storming out of the room. At the hotel, members of the resistance convince the Spoony One to unleash Dr. Insano to overthrow the Critic's regime.

Part 5

The next day, Benzaie and Linkara escort Dr. Insano to the government building. After a long fistfight, Insano gets the best of the Critic, knocking him out on the ground. While he attempts to bargain for ownership of Kickassia with the rest of the resistance over radio, the Critic regains consciousness, and shoots lightning out of his hands at Insano. The two engage in another battle, fighting with lightning, but this time, the Critic is the victor. With his opponent on the ground, he prepares to shoot him, but Benzaie and Linkara run inside, pleading with the Critic to spare him, since Spoony is still in there. Benzaie slips and reveals that there is a conspiracy to overthrow the Critic. The Critic begins to interrogate the two, as Insano calls out for the help of Santa Christ, a mash of Santa Claus and Jesus Christ. The Critic, taken by surprise, shoots Santa Christ in the chest, killing him, claiming self-defense. The gunshot draws other resistance members to the scene, and in an attempt to resurrect the fallen Christmas icon, the Critic and the resistance members join hands in a ring and chant. Unfortunately, the chant fails to revive Santa Christ, and his body is deposited in a dumpster. The resistance meets at the hotel again, and they nominate Linkara to formulate a strategy to finally take the Critic down. He uses a Risk board, whose mechanics are explained by Board James in a cameo, to formulate his plan. However, the brainstorming session is interrupted by the arrival of Film Brain, who wishes to join the resistance, his loyalty having been diminished after seeing the Critic kill Santa Christ. Lankara and the rest of the resistance complete their battle plans.

Part 6

While the Critic is enjoying a walk in the garden, he is ambushed by Angry Joe and Linkara, who fire at him with a cannon. He is quickly surrounded by other resistance fighters, and is forced to retreat into the government building, but he runs into Phelous, who captures him. The other resistance members surround the Critic once again, including Cinema Snob, returned from his banishment, and they beat him up. With the Critic defeated, the Nostalgia Chick attempts to claim the presidency, but is contested by the Cinema Snob and Lankara. The entire resistance begins to argue over who should be in charge, but they are interrupted by Santa Christ, who has come back to life, three days after he was killed by the Critic. Santa Christ convinces the resistance that nobody should rule Kickassia, and that they should all just stick to their online shows, but the Critic takes the opportunity to get back up and threaten to push the button that detonates the 20 tons of dynamite underneath Molossia. The Cinema Snob informs him that he disconnected all of the dynamite when he was banished, and that if he presses the button, nothing will happen, but the Critic presses it anyway. The Snob is proven correct, the dynamite does not go off, and the group of resistance fighters beat the Critic up again. The Critic is forced to relinquish his control of Molossia, asking Fritz von Baugh to inform the president. The Critic and his former followers leave Molossia, returning to their lives as they were before.

Cast

Doug Walker as the Nostalgia Critic: An internet film reviewer, who aspires to take over the small nation of Molossia, and later the world. He establishes himself as president of Kickassia, and exercises absolute authority, but refuses to do much other than watch television all day.
Lindsay Ellis as the Nostalgia Chick: The Critic's right hand woman, a scheming vice president who plots to kill the Critic and take over his position.
Lewis Lovhaug as Linkara: Head of the Kickassian FBI and the strategist of the resistance, he comes up with the resistance's final battle plan that results in the Critic's overthrow.
Noah Antwiler as the Spoony One/Dr. Insano: A Kickassian scientist, who harbors an alter ego/evil spirit, known as Dr. Insano, inside of him. He can release Insano at will, but it is difficult for him to control him.
Brad Jones as the Cinema Snob: The Kickassian treasurer, he is banished from the nation after he is found guilty of plotting against the Critic. He returns during the final battle between the Critic and the resistance. He also designs the Kickassian flag.
Joe Vargas as Angry Joe: Kickassian Secretary of Defense, he has an affinity for explosions and gratuitous violence. He wields two MP5 submachine guns.
Phelan Porteous as Phelous: Kickassian Secretary of State, Phelous comes up with many ideas on how to go about running Kickassia, that are stolen by the Critic and presented as his own. He captures the Critic in a chokehold during the climax of the film.
Benjamin Daniel as Benzaie/Beary: A French internet personality and game tester, who works as Kickassia's Head of Immigration. He is never seen without his stuffed bear, Beary, whom he commonly uses as a weapon.
Justin Carmical as JewWario: A Jewish man who wears a Wario hat constantly, he generally produces the worst ideas during brainstorming sessions.
Kaylyn Saucedo as Marzgurl: A Kickassian soldier, who drills the soldiery harshly. She commonly wears a green military coat. She is one of the few casualties of the second invasion of Molossia, but isn't seriously injured, if at all.
Bennett White as Bennett the Sage: Kickassia's Surgeon General. It is his job to ensure the health of Kickassia's citizens. He discovers that diet and exercise do not lead to good health, but that smoking does.
Jason Pullara as LordKaT: Minister of Kickassian Trade, he wishes to trade old video games for other nations' goods and resources.
Mickey Paradis as 8-bit Mickey: A Kickassian soldier, commonly seen with Handsome Tom.
Thomas Hanley as Handsome Tom: The official Kickassian flagpole, he is usually around 8-bit Mickey.
Mathew Buck as Film Brain: One of the Critic's most loyal underlings, Film Brain spies on the resistance and carries out the will of his master. He switches sides after Santa Christ is killed.
Paul Schuler as Paw: A radio DJ. Debatably one of the most sane people in Kickassia.
Lee Davidge as 2D Lee/3D Lee: An expert fighter and head of the Environmental Protection Agency, he personally defeats president Baugh during the second invasion of Molossia. He spends much of the film marveling at his transformed, three-dimensional state.
Chris Larios as himself: A reporter for Transmission Awesome News, he conducts interviews of many of the members of the Kickassion government following their successful takeover.
Bhargav Dronamraju as Ma-Ti: A character from Captain Planet, he confronts the Critic one night to remind him of his past and to encourage him to curb his tyrannical behavior.
Rob Walker as Santa Christ: A ultimate combination of Christmas icons, he is killed by the Critic after he arrives to save Dr. Insano. He resurrects after three days, and convinces the band of internet personalities to give up Kickassia.
Kevin Baugh as himself: President of Molossia, Baugh is ousted from his nation and is forced to hide in disguise.
Kevin Baugh as Fritz von Baugh: Molossian Minister of Keeping Things Orderly, Fritz is simply Baugh in a different costume, though he claims otherwise. He helps encourage dissenting thoughts among the Critic's subordinates.
James Rolfe as Board James: An internet personality, James teaches the resistance how to properly play Risk.
Doug Walker as Spider Smith
Doug Walker as Chester A. Bum
Doug Walker as Dominic

Cameos

Krissy Diggs as That Chick With the Goggles
Lindsey Z Briggs as Little Miss Gamer
Sean Fausz as Hope Within Chaos
Nikolas Freeman as Y Ruler of Time
Nick Landis as Lanipator
Lawrence Simpson as MasakoX
Brian Heinz as The Last Angry Geek
Mike Jeavons as himself
Larry Bundy Jr. as Guru Larry
Dena Natali as herself
Sam Goldberg as That Jewish Guy
Christine Thompson as The Cat
Patrick Burdun as Coldguy

Reception

Box office

As Kickassia was first released as an internet miniseries, it initially generated no profits. How much profit was made from DVD sales is unknown.

Critical response

On IMDb, Kickassia holds a 5.3-star rating (out of 10), based on approximately 2 thousand reviews. A large portion of its ratings, around 21%, have been 1-stars. Its poor reception is most likely a result of the style of humor that the film employs, its production quality, and its writing.

Video Games

The Hearts of Iron|IV mod Make America Again, which follows an alternate United States history timeline, contains a Kickassia-themed story for Molossia.

Trivia

The YouTube personality OneyPlays commonly references Kickassia, it being one of his favorite films.
Doug Walker's presidential uniform is directly inspired by M. Bison from Street Fighter.
According to several cast members, several of the film's continuity errors were intentional, in order to maintain the film's silly atmosphere, and to annoy nitpickers.
Doug Walker estimated that around 20% of the film's dialogue was improvised.
Kickassia was an actual micronation that existed for only two days after a takeover of Molossia