Maxine epistles

The Maxine epistles are Christian writings of the Church of Hilltop written by Max I of Hilltop to various churches and political leaders across the world.

Episltes

Epistle to the Marcionites in Corinth

This letter deals with politics and the church and promotes separation of politics from religion and spread of conspiracy theories about COVID-19. It is addressed to the Marcionite Christian Church in Corinth.

Chapter 1

1 From Max, a man at Blandford, to the Marcionite church at Corinth. 2 You need to fix your church, for you do not talk about Christ, rather you do talk about your rejection of the coronavirus pandemic. 3 The point of the church is to worship Christ, not politics. 4 You are so caught up in your own self-importance that you have forgotten what it means to be a Christian. 5 The only way you can return to God is by accepting the truth and embracing repentance. 6 If you continue to reject the truth, then your faith will never grow.

Chapter 2

7 On your website, there are blatant lies. 1 You claim that coronavirus is a fake plague that is nothing less than the flu. 2 I am also sceptical of the coronavirus vaccine, rushed out with little testing, but it should not be a church doctrine and coronavirus is not just the flu, many more die from it than the flu and it is much worse. 3 You tell lies about the history of the church, saying that the Council of Jerusalem was to declare the Tanakh unsuitable and that Emperor Constantine forged the gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John to stop the true Christian faith 4 Rather the Council was about circumcision and that your Gospel of the Lord is a version of the Gospel of Luke, cleansed of all Jewish references

Chapter 3

1 In your bible, you exclude the letters of Peter, John and Jude and say they were not true apostles and didn’t understand Jesus’ message 2 But you believe Paul was his only true apostle 3 I thus must ask you why did your revered Paul travel with and know false apostles like Peter? 4 Paul even referred to Peter as his spiritual brother 5 To deny the Apostles is to deny Christianity because what we know about Christ comes from the writings of the Apostles and their associates

Chapter 4

1 There are many issues with your church, these are merely the worst ones. 2 You need to lower political involvement which is distracting you from worship and prayer. 3 You spread conspiratorial nonsense and pointlessly exclude writings from the scriptures. 4 I hope you sort out your church soon, and may the Lord be with you, Amen

Epistle to Boris Johnson

The Epistle deals with hypocrisy, and advocates treating the poor and is directed at the Conservative government of Boris Johnson.

Chapter 1

1 To the prime minister, Boris Johnson at London and his government, from Bishop Max at Blandford 2 You have mistreated your people for years, partying with your rich friends while the common people are not allowed to go outside 3 This hypocrisy is detestable to the Lord, who you insulted by lying against your oath to him in parliament

Chapter 2

1 When people come from far off lands at war, you mistreat them by sending them to the unstable genocidal land of the Rwandans, where they will be poor and treated badly 2 Your policies benefit the rich, and take from the poor, making themsuffer 3 The Lord wants us to care for the poor, as Jesus did, you are betraying his commandment 4 The public know this, and you are plummeting in the polls. 5 Johnson, you must reform and repent to the Lord and stop living in your wicked ways 6 Because at the moment, I will not be voting for the Conservative in the next poll when you are like this