FIFA War

FIFA War
Flag of the Technocracy of McMahon
Date 7 of June 2023 Location Technocracy of McMahon Result Technocracy of McMahon victory John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet forced to apologise
Belligerents
People's Republic of Odea	Technocracy of McMahon
Commanders and leaders
John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet Steve	Balls McSmith
Strength
2	1
Casualties and losses
2 Injured	0

The FIFA War also known as the Balls McSmith is a Stupid Dumb Cheating Loser Fuckface War, was a brief military conflict fought between the People's Republic of Odea and the Technocracy of McMahon in 2023. The war was widely regarded as one of the 'most stupid, dumb and pointless wars ever fought in the history of wars" by many in the Inner West Parks Annexation movement due to the root cause of the conflict being a disagreement over a online multiplayer game of FIFA Mobile. The war was ended by Xahastanian intervention and lasted for approximately 18 hours before a mandated ceasefire was reached.

History

Background

On the 7th of June 2023 both Balls McSmith and John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet logged onto the popular game FIFA 23 with the intention of playing a "friendly game of FIFA to celebrate international relations between the two nations", however tensions soon began to arise as John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet realised Balls McSmith was a much higher level then him, causing jealousy and envy. The two began to play however the match soon became heated as it became very apparent that Chicken Shitty Pants was awful at the game and was easily beat by Balls McSmith 6-0. This clear loss in the game caused Chicken Shitty Pants to become enraged and challenge McSmith to another round to which McSmith responded in SMS messages "lol nah i dont wan play against scrubs such as urself lol". This rejection only further angered Chicken Shitty Pants who then proceeded to log onto Instagram and post a story accusing McSmith of being a "fat gamer nerd loser with no friends who cheats in video games", this further strained the relationship between the two nations as Balls McSmith responded on his Instagram story "@Jchickenshittypants_mctoilet45 lol nah u just mad cuz u r a scrub cake who has the mental capacity of Darnold Hunselpien and cant play FIFA 4 shit". However this story served to further worsen the situation as Ynwunce Honsepler, a member of Mugahan 3rd then accused Balls McSmith of being "a dim witted fool who was going to be culled for disrespecting Darnolds name". This sewed the seeds for conflict as an hour later John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet declared war on the Technocracy of McMahon and Balls McSmith.

War

At 2:30 in the afternoon the Odean People's Military Force (John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet and a cheap "bouncer" he hired off Gumtree) amassed at the north border Technocracy of McMahon and prepared to cross into McMahoniese territory to capture the capital and depose Balls McSmith. The Odean People's Military Force's only piece of equipment was an illegally possessed Glock 22 loaded with a mixture of blank and live ammunition possed by "Steve" the "bouncer". After standing around for 5 minutes John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet gave the order for them to cross into McMahoniese territory where they seemed to face no oppisition, however just as Chicken Shitty Pants and Steve crossed the border Balls McSmith arose from a bush armed with a whipper snipper charging Chicken Shitty Pants and Steve who was soon struck by McSmith's whipper snipper.

An ensuing battle occurred between Steve and Balls McSmith as Chicken Shitty Pants fled the scene, Steve fumbled his Glock 22 and was tacked to the ground by Balls McSmith who promptly attempted to eviscerate steve with his whipper snipper. Steve received major but non life threatening lacerations from Balls McSmith's whipper snipper, however in the middle of the fight Balls McSmith's whipper snipper jammed giving Steve an opportunity to get away from McSmith who promptly gave chase. An injured and bloody Steve managed to climb a fence into a backyard and escape from Balls McSmith, just as his whipper snipper unjammed. Just as Steve escaped, Balls McSmith ran into John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet, who was promptly attacked and lacerated with the whipper snipper.

Xahastanian Intervention

Whilst being attacked with the whipper snipper, John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet managed to run all the way to the Xahastanian border to request assistance, however just as he reached the border, he was met with a hail of gunfire from border guards. McToilet ducked behind a nearby car just in time as the bullets narrowly missed him and tore through Balls McSmiths right leg, sending him to the ground, ending his whipper snipper rampage. The bullets fired by the Xahastanian border guards lucky missed Balls McSmiths vital arteries and organs, however Balls McSmith was injured and lying in a pool of blood. Balls McSmith was rushed to the hospital to have the bullets removed from his leg as well as for the wound to be cleaned and sewn up, whilst this was occurring Balls McSmith explained to Eyes of the Revolution agents the conflict. Within 40 minutes the Xahastanian government mandated a cease fire between the two nations or otherwise both would be met with sanctions. Relations between the two nations have now normalised and John "Chicken Shitty Pants" McToilet issued a public apology statement at Bishop Street McDonalds to an audience of around 0 people.