Democratic Republic of Nobel
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Democratic Republic of Nobel | |
|---|---|
| Motto: "Døde ludere og ned med NTA" | |
| Anthem: Bubbibjørnene | |
| [[File:Nobel3.jpg Denmark|frameless|upright=1.15]] | |
| Capital | Common House of Nobel (Fælleshuset) |
| Largest city | The Parking Lot |
| Official languages | Danish, English and Nobelic |
| Demonym(s) | Nobel |
| Government | Parliamentary (de-facto one-party state) |
• The Prime Minister of Nobel | Martin K. Madsen (since 2008) |
| Legislature | Parliament |
| Establishment | 2008 |
| Population | |
• (as of 2010 census) census | 180 |
| Currency | Danish Krone |
Website Government website | |
This nation is a member of the Commonwealth of Myrdalstræde | |
The Democratic Republic of Nobel, usually refered to as Nobel Kollegiet, is an independent state located aproximately one mile south of the Danish city of Aalborg. The country currently fights an independence war against Denmark which maintains territorial claims over nobelic soil thus ignoring the will of the Nobelian ethnic population. However, the territory remains under the control of the Nobel government.
Human Rights Watch, as well as Danish authorities, have voiced their concerns with revent actions of the Nobel government which Denmark considers as authoritarian and repressive towards political enemies. As a matter of fact Denmark have issued economic sanctions against DR Nobel meaning television licence control have been quadrubled the last 12 months. Together with Vendia Kollegiet and Myrdal Kollegiet, DR Nobel forms the Commonwealth of Myrdalstræde, which was established in the spring of 2012.
DR Nobel is second to last on Economist Intelligence Unit's yearly Democracy Index. Several media describes the state as a iron-fist dictatorship ruled since its establishment in 2008 by The Nobel Party (NobelPartiet).
History
Nobel Kollegiet started out as a newly-built dormitory by the beginning of 2008. Soon the dormitory became famous for its enormous consuming of bottled alcohol and sexual transmitted diseases. Soon the alcoholist elite began to unite against the passive silentists in order to streamline the political administration of the dormitory. As a result The Nobel Party was established in march 2008 by Nobel nationalists seeking independence from Denmark.
The Nobel Party soon took power of the dormitory under the guidance of Prime Minister Martin K. Madsen, who declared Nobel Kollegiet independent by the summer of 2008. New political institutions were set up and a provisional government were established by the leading members of The Nobel Party. As time went discontent with the government started to materialise. As a result the Prime Minister were forced to dissolve the Parliament in 2010 in order to hold the first general election in the self-proclaimed Democratic Republic of Nobel. The government of Nobel was convincingly elected by a landslide despite international observers claims the election was rigged in favour of the sitting government.
Political oppression intensified over the years as the government systematically eradicated all opposition to the main party. This has over the years forced many political dissidents to flee the country although the republic maintains its closed borders policy. To this day DR Nobel is still one of the hardest countries to obtain knowledge from as only state-controlled propaganda media is legal within the country.
By the spring of 2012 DR Nobel ended a long-fought war with neighbouring state Vendia by accepting "The Myrdal Agreement", a peace treaty between the parts. As a result the two countries, along with Myrdal Kollegiet, established The Commonwealth of Myrdalstræde. As of today the three states enjoy political as well as cultural cooperation as well as fighting the autonomous rebel faction NTA over television coverage.
Administrative Structure
The highest authority of DR Nobel is the Nobel Supreme Council that consists of five sub-division ministers within the government. These five subdivisions are as follows:
- The Democratic Council (headed by the Prime Minister)
- The Finance Department (headed by the Finance Minister)
- The Interior Department (headed by the Minister of Interior)
- The Cultural and Event Department (headed by the Minister for Cultural Affairs)
- The Technology Department (headed by the Minister of Technology, Surveillance and Military Affairs)
Each of these departments have several junior ministers attached.
Politics of DR Nobel
The political life of Nobel takes place within the frame of The Constitution of Nobel which guarantees that elections should be hold at least every four years. However, the government of Nobel currently discusses to change the constitution effectually enlarging the election term to nine years.
Election 2010
The first election in DR Nobel took place on May 6, 2010, and ended with a landslide victory to the sitting government headed by prime minister Martin K. Madsen who could continue as leader of the nation.
| General Election, DR Nobel, 6 May 2010 | ||
|---|---|---|
| Parties | Percentage | |
| The Nobel Party | 91,2% | |
| Friends of Vendia | 4,4% | |
| Norwegian Unity | 3,8% | |
| The Myrdal List | 0,6% | |
| Voter Turnout | 92% | |
Pundits and international observers have condemned the election for being fraudulent and repressive towards the political opposition. The government of Nobel have denied all allegations.
The result of the election meant that The Nobel Party took all 23 spots in the Parliament of Nobel thereby making the republic a de-facto one-party state.
Human Rights violations
Numerous international organisations (Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch etc.) have reported about systematic abuses of human rights in The Democratic Republic of Nobel. Accounts of political opponents being forced into exile are common, and based on interviews with these politcal refugees a clear picture of everyday life in Nobel can be depicted.
The most notorious prison of DR Nobel is named to be "The Basement" (Kælderen), which supposedly is a torture chamber located right under the Common House of Nobel (Fælleshuset) which additionally functions as the country's parliament. No survivors have ever escaped "The Basement" as many dissidents have died while being questioned by Nobel police officers.
In 2008, a political campaign from the ruling party called "Accidents do happen" caused international controversy as it were percepted as a threat towards the enemies of The Nobel Party. The party instantly rejected the claims and labelled the critics as "bad losers". Instead, the party said, the campaign was a reminder of actions and their consequences, an imagery of the fact that several political opponents of The Nobel Party died of unlucky accidents that year.
In 2011, the death of a critical citizen in DR Nobel gained international attention. Apparantly the citizen had killed himself by shooting to the head thrice and from different angles. The Justice Department of Nobel called the incident a "personal tragedy".
By 2012 the prime minister addressed the issue on supposed human rights violations by saying the allegations, however untrue, were a consequence of "jealousy of a successful society" that he considers DR Nobel to be.
Military campaigns
From 2008 to 2012 DR Nobel fought a bloody war against Vendia, which ended with a stalemate and a peace treaty in 2012. Afterward the two states have become allies in the fight against NTA, a television broadcaster.
The government of Nobel is knows for its flamboyant and aggressive attitude towards surrounding states and neighbouring planetes. By 2010, the government planed a missile system which were to be used as a attack weapon towards, as the government put it, "the neo-imperialistic Sun that for many years have maintained monopoly of providing heat to planet Earth.". Soon thereafter the plan was dropped as a result of technological defiencies in The Nobel Department of Technology.
DR Nobel currently fights a civil war in order to gain de jure independence from Denmark. As of today, 100% of Nobel citizens are economical dependent on the Danish government student funding (as the citizens are technically "danish students"). The government have dismissed this factor as problematic. "We can also print money if necessary", a government spokenman said in 2013.
State ideology: Nobelism
DR Nobel is, according to its constitution, ruled by the principles of "Nobelism" which is a megalomaniac version of the term "Martinism" (derives from the prime minister itself). The principles of Nobelism is a social contract between top and bottom of society, as well of strict moral principles in accordance to being intoxicated with alcohol.
The social contract launches the principle of coherence between the different parts of society. Thereby meaning the elitist part of society should accept the existance of lower parts. In return, the bottom of society should respect and obey every part of leglislation and every decision the contemporary government takes in order to protect and preserve the integrity of the state. Alcohol is a main part of the DR Nobel state ideology as the constitution describes that no action or decision could ever be made satisfactory without the presence of alcohol. As a consequence, it is a violation to the Nobel road code to drive an automobile without being intoxicated.
Many principles of Nobelism derives from the prophetic visions of leader Martin K. Madsen who is famous for dreaming his way to godlike prophecies. In fact, the curriculum in the Nobel schools are mainly based on the principles of these visions as well of the intepretations made by Nobel Party chief ideologist Lybech.
Culture of Nobel
The culture of Nobel surrounds about alcohol as the constitution enjoins the population. Drinking games as well as dancing in drunkeness are main activities of the young population. Sunday is a public holiday called "Hangover Day" and is usually celebrated by trips north the border to the famous tourist attraction Klingenberg Pizza.
Sport
The only legal sport in DR Nobel is beerbowling. A contest in which the republic is considered to be in the world elite. Reports from the Nobel Ministry of Employment suggests that beerbowling players are among the best paid citizens in DR Nobel. Just after government ministers.
The Danish brewery Slots Pilsner are listed as main sponsor for the Nobel beerbowling national team.