Pyrinthian Civil War
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 | This article contains information or refers to a micronation or element of micronationalism that is largely non-serious or comical in nature. |
Overview
| Pyrinthian Civil War | |||||
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| Belligerents | |||||
 Pyrinthia |
 Free Kingdom of Pyrinthia | ||||
| Units involved | |||||
 Pyrinthian Fusillier Corps  Sturmtruppen Motor Corps |
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| Strength | |||||
| 12 soldiers, 2 drones, 5 APCs | 3 soldiers, 1 APC | ||||
The Pyrinthian civil war/Rebellion was a conflict fought between a handful of rebels and the Pyrinthian government. The war was largely online, but there were a few major skirmishes later into the conflict.
Day 1
The war started off with a raid on the Free Kingdom’s discord server, with Pyrinthian loyalists spamming “Long live Pyrinthia” until the server was forced to be closed.
Following the raid, the Kingdom’s cyber warfare division proceeded to flood Pyrinthian officials’ emails with spam, proclaiming “Vive la revolution” until the Pyrinthians blocked them.
Many hours passed, and all negotiations failed. The first actual combat started late in the afternoon, when a rebel saboteur temporarily disabled the Pyrinthian drone division by stealing batteries and remotes, however the Pyrinthians pulled out their reserves.
Day 2
There were some more raids on Pyrinthian discord servers, using bots, and at one point, someone’s IP address was seized, at which point the Pyrinthians, believing the rebels to be responsible, launched a massive land assault on the rebel capital, Beachside Home. The attack was repelled, and in response to the failed offensive, the rebels began blackmailing Pyrinthia, threatening to leak the grabbed IP, despite not actually having the aforementioned IP. Pyrinthia began to accuse the rebels of blackmail, and another discord raid was conducted. The Pyrinthians blew up the rebels’ inboxes with spam mail and ip loggers, at which point the rebels filmed themselves destroying the Pyrinthian flag, considered an act of desecration in the micronation, and sent it to Pyrinthia.
Day 3
The war of propaganda continued yet again, as the rebels drove by the Pyrinthian capital, Nova Anatolia, blasting “La Marseillaise” and shouting “Vive la revolution”. The Pyrinthians managed to retaliate, openly tearing up the rebel flag. Leaflets were also distributed by both sides.
A press conference was held, at which the Pyrinthian Premier openly denounced the rebel cause, vowing to punish them for their “impudent” actions. The rebels also held a press conference, where they called the Pyrinthian premier a slur, and announced the founding of their state-controlled newspaper, the Reville, a spoof of the Pyrinthian-owned Micronational newspaper, The Nationale.
Another assault was launched on Beachside Home, yet failed again. The rebels mockingly congratulated the loyalists for their “Outstanding work” and sarcastically told them to “keep up the effort”.
Day 4
Early in the morning, a massive discord raid was conducted by the Pyrinthians, employing “nuke bots”, an idea taken from the War against the Seljuks. All rebel communication channels were systematically wiped out, leading to major confusion. During this time, a third assault was launched on Beachside Home, but the rebels were able to mount a decent defence, and drove off the loyalists, while taking some damage from drone attacks. The rebel newspaper, the Reville, published its first edition, condemning the Pyrinthians for “playing dirty”.
Some time close to noon, the Pyrinthian Sturmtruppen led several raids on the Kingdom’s borders, as the Fusilliers dug in around Beachside home and prepared an assault. In a move copied from a previous intermicronational war, the Kingdom used Microsoft Flight Simulator to simulate the bombing of Beachside Home.
Twenty minutes later, the assault began. At precisely 11:52am, Sydney time, the largest land assault ever conducted by the Pyrinthian Military began. Almost immediately the advance slowed- the attackers had embarrassingly not brought enough ammunition.
Five minutes later, the Pyrinthians managed to seize the beachfront, forcing the royals to retreat to the backyard. With help from a mercenary force named the Legion, the backyard defence was overrun as well. Inside the house, fierce room-to-room fighting broke out. But at 12:02, the Pyrinthians were forced to temporarily withdraw from the house due to lack of ammunition. During this time, the rebels refilled on supplies and rested.
However, by this point news of Pyrinthia’s shameful military display had reached their neighbours, and so with great embarrassment the loyalists withdrew.
Day 5: 27 June- The final day
With their military exhausted and humiliated, Pyrinthian officials reluctantly sued for peace, and in turn the Free Kingdom of Pyrinthia demanded full, recognised autonomy. The officials agreed, and at 9:30AM on Sunday, the Free Kingdom of Pyrinthia was officially established.
Repercussions and effect
Pyrinthia almost immediately faced internal issues- the citizens were downright ashamed of their military’s performance, and the Pyrinthian premier was fiercely criticised for failing to quickly end the war. Public confidence dropped, and two people defected to the rebels, quoting, “Well, at least they know how to win a war.”