Kingdom of Eyehasseen
Kingdom of Eyehasseen Regnum Oculorum Viderit (Latin) | |
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 Flag
 Coat of arms
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| Motto: “Malo Mori Quam Foedari” | |
| Anthem: “Eyehasseen, the Glory” Royal anthem: “Rex Vivat In Aeternum” | |
 The Kingdom of Eyehasseen circa 2022 | |
| Capital and largest city | Avila 38.782876, -78.294238 |
| Official languages | English, Latin |
| Ethnic groups (2022) |
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| Religion (2022) | Roman Catholicism |
| Demonym(s) | Eyehasseenian |
| Government | Unitary absolute monarchy |
• Monarch | Edmund I |
| “vacant” | |
| Legislature | None |
| Independence from the United States | |
• Privately established | 11 October 2008 |
• Re-established | 13 October 2022 |
• Invasion repelled | August 2021 |
| Area | |
• Total | 0.02165068 km2 (0.00835937 sq mi) (1,056) |
• Water (%) | 2% |
| Population | |
• 2022 census | 4 |
• Density | 479/sq mi (184.9/km2) |
| Currency | Eyehasseen Denara (EDF) |
| Time zone | UTC-5 (EST (capital)) |
• Summer (DST) | UTC-4 (EST (capital)) |
| Date format | (DD/MM/YYYY) |
| Driving side | right |
| Calling code | 998 |
Website Kingdom of Eyehasseen | |
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The “'Kingdom of Eyehasseen”' (Latin: “Regnum Oculorum Viderit”, pronounced “eye-has-seen”) is a free and self-declared sovereign nation located in Northern Virginia adjacent to the beautiful Shenandoah National Forest, within the borders of the Old United States of America. The Kingdom is not “officially” recognized by any international body. The realm consists of 5.35 acres of dense forest and farm lands and the sole access roads are heavily guarded by the Royal Knights of Eyehasseen. It was founded by King Edmund on 11 October 2008 as a private monarchy, and by royal decree has been made public as of 13 October 2022. Visits are by appointment only, and visitors must have a valid visa to enter the country.
The largest city within the Kingdom is Avila, named after the famed town in Italy that produced a number of saints, including St. Theresa of Avila, St. John of Avila, and St. John of the Cross.
The Kingdom is, of course, a monarchy. More specifically, it is a unitary absolute monarchy of its monarch. It is not a republic, nor is it a constitutional monarchy, and does not have a parliament. There are no elections, nor are there public referendums. The sole ruler is King Edmund, and he rules with an iron fist in a velvet glove from his realm. The King may seek counsel, and he may allow others to act in his name, but there is no other source of rule. While the country does not have a constitution or other governing document, King Edmund was gracious enough to proclaim a charter which guarantees certain rights of the Kingdom’s sovereign citizens.
While the Kingdom has declared itself to be a sovereign nation, it is not recognized as a country by any macronation or macronational organization, including the United Nations or any other world government.
Given its size, Eyehasseen is a moderately wealthy country with a booming economy. Forestry is the main source of economic development, but the primary source of wealth is the income generated by the monarch in his various dealings with the outside (macro) world. The Kingdom was invaded in August 2021 by a neighboring country (the ruler of which apparently believed he was entitled to dump his refuse within the borders of the Kingdom), but the invasion was quickly repelled.
Etymology
The name Eyehasseen refers to the Biblical verse from 1 Corinthians 2:9: But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.”
History
The Kingdom of Eyehasseen was established on 11 October 2008, but the realm has a long history prior to its current incarnation. In the most immediate past the holdings consisted of approximately 2 acres (.003125003 square miles) of partly forested land, with a pond, stream and waterfall. By royal decree King Edmund expanded his holdings in 2021 through a shrewd land swap, acquiring 5.35 acres (.008359382 square miles) and removing his kingdom to this new land in Northern Virginia. Most recently, additional land (and all buildings and appurtenances thereto) in Eastern Ohio is in the process of being acquired and will be joined to the Kingdom upon finalization of the treaty. Further expansions are anticipated as additional holdings are acquired.
Government
Monarchy
The Kingdom of Eyehasseen is a unitary absolute monarchy, under the iron-fist-in-a-velvet-glove of its founder and monarch, King Edmund. He has ruled this realm since 1988, starting when it was a mere barony. By royal decree King Edmund has delegated certain responsibilities to various administrators and ministers.
Carta Regni Eyehasseen
The Carta Regni Eyehassen (Charter of the Kingdom of Eyehasseen) is a revolutionary document based in part on the Magna Carta, and including elements that have been incorporated in additional charters. It reserves certain rights to the Monarch, but guarantees certain rights to all free citizens of the Kingdom. The powers retained by the Monarch include all ruling powers over the Kingdom, (but those powers may be temporarily relegated to administrators or ministers); the right to grant any Title of Nobility; the right to grant Reprieves and Pardons; the right to create Agencies, Ministries and Departments necessary to the administration of the Kingdom; the right to grant such elections as the Monarch may permit; unappealable finality of all decisions; the right to tax citizens to fund the Kingdom.
Rights granted to all Free Citizens include: the right to Life; the right to Liberty; the right to Free Speech and Expression; the right to the Pursuit of Happiness; the right to peaceably associate; the right to Human Dignity; the right to Marry; the right to Raise a Family; the right to Present Grievances and Petition the Monarchy; the right to Property; the right to be Secure in One's Home, Writings & Thoughts; the right to Self-Determination; the right to Contract for goods and services; the right to Access certain Courts.
The Monarch retains, but may delegate at his discretion, the sole rights to: borrow Money on the credit of the Kingdom’s Treasury; regulate Commerce with foreign Nations and Kingdoms; allow for and approve the naturalization of any person seeking citizenship within the Kingdom; Coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measure; establish Post Offices and post Roads; establish Telegraphs, Telephones, Radio Transmissions, Printed Materials, or any other means of Communication that can take place over a distance greater than a man’s voice may carry; constitute Tribunals and Courts to decide issues that the Monarch chooses to delegate to such Tribunals and Courts, and such Justices as may be appointed shall serve for life while exhibiting Good Behavior, but may be removed from office by the Monarch at any time for any reason; provide for the punishment of Piracies and Felonies committed against the Kingdom and/or its commerce; provide for the punishment of Treasons and other Crimes and Misdemeanors against the Kingdom; declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water; raise and support Militaries and homeland Militia; call forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Kingdom, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions; and make treaties, contracts and agreements with Foreign Entities and indigenous populations.
Prime Minister
The Prime Minister has near absolute authority over all other ministers and ministries of the kingdom, and is a member of the Royal Court. This grant of authority is by royal decree and can be rescinded at the whim of the Monarch.
Foreign Relations
The Foreign Relations Office, part of the Ministry of the Exterior, has primary responsible to establish and maintain all foreign policy, including relations with other nations, that are in the best interest of the Kingdom. By Order of his Royal Highness, the Kingdom of Eyehasseen is willing to enter into diplomatic relations with all similar nation states. The Kingdom is also willing to enter into certain strategic alliances that are to its liking, but as a thoroughly Catholic nation, it must respectfully decline to enter into alliances with any nations that espouse any form of Communism or Socialism, Freemasonry, Satanism, or any other such immoral and immodest means of administering a government. The realm has no desire to enter into any conflicts with other nations and will respect all other nations' rights to coexist with the Kingdom of Eyehasseen, but simply declines to enter into any diplomatic relations with such nations.
Interior Matters
The Ministry of the Interior is responsible for regulating and maintaining all internal aspects of the realm, and is managed through several offices and administrations, including National Parks & Forestry Service, Land & Water Management Agency, Air & Space Agency, Geological Survey Office, Farm, Agricultural & Gardening Administration, Rural Development Agency, Postal Service Agency, Gnuclear Regulatory Agency, Department of the Chickens, Transportation Office (Infrastructure, Railroads, Waterways & Maritime, Highways & Roads Agency, Drones & Aerocoptors), and the Energy Office.
External Matters
The Ministry of the Exterior is responsible for regulating and maintaining all external aspects of the realm, and is managed through several offices and administrative systems, including International Commerce Office (including Tariffs & Duties Regulations), Customs, and Office of Int’l Trade Treaties. The Ministry of the Exterior also has primary oversight of all Foreign Relations, including the Diplomatic Corps, International Relations Office, and Embassy/Consular Corps.
Royal Chancery
The Royal Chancery of the Kingdom of Eyehasseen is responsible for the production of official written documents. It is headed by the Chancellor of the Kingdom, and it staffed by the royal clerks. It is responsible for Publication of Royal Decrees & Proclamations, Issuance of Royal Patents (not patent law), and Publication of Laws, Rules & Regulations.
Economics and Finance
The Ministry of Economics & Finance oversees the economic policy and the finances of the Kingdom. It’s divided into several sections that assist in formulating economic policy, collection of taxes, making payments on behalf of the Kingdom, and auditing official accounts. The country's GDP is primarily based upon services provided by the king to a corporate giant in the adjoining/surrounding macronation, and is subsidized by forestry, woodworking, artworks, and the sale of eggs.
Departments included within the Ministry of Economics and Finance include His Majesty’s Exchequer – responsible for the collection and the management of taxes and revenues; of making payments on behalf of the sovereign; may also prosecute tax theft; The Royal Treasury - holds and balances all monetary accounts related to the administration of the realm; the Office of the Royal Auditor – responsible for auditing official accounts; the Budget & Management Oversight Council – establishes the royal budget, subject to His Majesty’s approval, and is responsible for fiscal oversight; the Economic Policy Council – assists the monarch in establishing and monitoring sound economic policy; and the Council of Engraving and Printing – Coins, Currency, Medals, & Tokens.
Citizenship
The Citizenship and Naturalization Office, a suboffice of the Ministry of the Populi, has sole responsibility to establishing and maintaining requirements for citizenship, as well as the approval or declination of requests for citizenship. The Citizenship Application is open. Any member of any macronation may apply for citizenship, and while the Kingdom expects its citizens to be well-behaved, it should be noted that most past criminal activity shall not be an immediate bar to citizenship. Citizens are expected to swear fealty to the King; there is no other cost associated with being a citizen of this sovereign nation.
Visas and Passports
The Visa and Immigration Office and the Passports Office, both suboffices of the Ministry of the Populi, have the sole responsibility to establishing and maintaining requirements for visas and passports, as well as the approval or declination of requests for same. At this time, the offices are closed and applications are not being accepted. When opened, visa requirements and a request for Passports will be linked on the kingdom's virtual presence.
Culture
The Ministry of Culture & History is responsible for defending and maintaining the national heritage of the Kingdom. The Ministry maintains the libraries and museums of the realm, protects historically-significant sites, oversees archeological explorations, and provides guidance to artists and arts councils of the Kingdom. The culture is thoroughly Catholic in thought and practice; immorality is not tolerated. The official language of the realm is English, and official business is often conduct in Latin.
Art
The Kingdom has several art museums. including the Royal Gallery of Art, and the Royal Museum of History and Antiquities (currently under renovation; a grand reopening is planned for December 2022). Each museum contains unique artworks and/or antiquities that reflect the values and culture of the Kingdom. Both have permanent collections as well as a revolving exhibit featuring new and up-and-coming artists.
Music
The official music of the Kingdom of Eyehasseen is Gregorian Chant. St. Augustine has accurately written: “Music, that is the science or the sense of proper modulation, is likewise given by God’s generosity to mortals having rational souls in order to lead them to higher things.” Epis. 161. De origine animae hominis, 1, 2; PL XXXIII, 725.
As Pope St. Pius X properly observed: “These qualities are to be found, in the highest degree, in Gregorian Chant, which is, consequently the Chant proper to the Roman Church, the only chant she has inherited from the ancient fathers, which she has jealously guarded for centuries in her liturgical codices, which she directly proposes to the faithful as her own, which she prescribes exclusively for some parts of the liturgy, and which the most recent studies have so happily restored to their integrity and purity.” Motu Proprio “Tra le sollecitudini” (1903)
Religion
The official state religion of the Kingdom of Eyehasseen is Roman Catholicism. While reasonable Catholics may differ on the impact the current papacy has on the faith – and you can count the monarchy as one among many who perceive a negative impact – the citizens of Eyehasseen are not sedevacantists and continue to be loyal followers of Rome and the teaching authority of the Magisterium of the Holy Roman Catholic Church, and espousse the Apostles Creed in full and without reservation or apology. This faith is expressed most fully though the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
Geography
Approximately 72% of the landmass of Eyehasseen is covered in somewhat dense forest, which makes forestry activity a prime source of GDP for the country and fuel for industry and houses. The King himself often participates in the annual Thinning of the Brush that occurs in late October through early December, in preparation for the spring festivities. The main forestry section descends into a gully, where a stream cuts through the lower glade. The adjoining country of Stevia has limited the water source, causing the stream bed to dry up. The rest of thee land consists of pasture and the Royal Gardens. Currently, the pasture is primarily occupied by the chickens and a solitary guard cat.
Climate
The Kingdom is in a temperate zone, and is quite comfortable year-round. Eyehasseen receives an average of 39 inches of rain and an average of 22 inches of snow per year. The kingdom may also expect about 200 sunny days per year, and some type of precipitation around 112 days per year. September is the wettest month, and summer is the wettest season. July is the hottest month for the kingdom, with an average high temperature of 86.2°, which is relatively cool due to its location in the mountainous area of northern Virginia. Humidity is relatively low year-round, and the most pleasant months of the year for the kingdom are September, June and May. January has the coldest nighttime temperatures for the kingdom, with an average of 21.2° and 112 days falling below 32°, making it one of the coldest places in Virginia.
Conflict
The Kingdom of Eyehasseen is a peaceful nation, but is thoroughly prepared to defend itself against all incursions. The military consists of several branches of armed forces experienced in combat on land and water. The territorial boundaries of the Kingdom are protected by the royal Border Guardians of the Realm.