Ahmedland
Kingdom of Ahmedland | |
|---|---|
 Flag | |
| Location | Canada |
| Capital | located within Oakville, Ontario, Canada |
| Largest city | probably the capital |
| Official languages | English, laughter (unofficial) |
| Demonym(s) | Ahmedlander |
| Government | monarchy |
• King | King Uddin I |
| Legislature | none; royal communication channels are used for discussions among citizenry |
| Establishment | 2009 |
| Population | |
• (as of 2020 census) census | nineteen, plus three cats (classically considered half-citizens) |
| Currency | Ahmed Dollar (2009 only); buttertarts are also considered a valid form of transactional wealth. |
| Time zone | family days are observed from preceding sunset or maghrib by declaration of H.M. the Queen Ahmedunnisa I |
The Kingdom of Ahmedland refers to "the collectivity of the Ahmed family as epitomized by the royal family residence."
Citizens of Ahmedland (or Ahmedlanders) thus constitute the King and Queen, their descendants, and all who married into the royal family (or who were adopted by them, according to one legal precedent).
The term "Ahmedland" came into use in 2009.
History
The nation's roots were established by family journalism, when king Abdus-Samad's future reign as "King of Ahmeds" was predicted by the Muslims in Outer Space newspaper. Proclaimed King as birth, Abdus-Samad's one-year reign was challenged by the establishment of a president (2009-2010) and emperor (2010) before he was deposed in favour of Uddin I.
Uddin I's reign was proclaimed 31 October 2010, with all but the then First Lady—in addition to Abdus-Samad's household—agreeing to sign the Document of Deposition.
In 2016, Abdus-Samad's family returned from self-imposed exile and established their household in the royal palace. Rumours of a return to the throne were quelled, however, with Abdus-Samad telling reporters in 2017, "I don't want to be king anymore."
Name
The name Ahmedland emerged after Abdus-Samad was proclaimed family king in 2009. Namir's title, "King of Ahmeds," led to the development of the name "Ahmedland"—perhaps modelled after Scotland—meaning land of Ahmeds, though the name is also more broadly used to refer to the Ahmed family entity.
Politics and government
Presidential elections were first held a few months after Abdus-Samad's birth. While initial elections were won by Uddin I, repeated balloting, and ultimately, the institution of private ballots ensured that Uddin III became president under the Democratic Strawberry platform, beating his Banana Republican challenger.
While elections were planned to correspond with leap years, a 2010 election was held for the office of prime minister to replace the presidency. The candidacy of a five year old was nevertheless endorsed by Uddin I, who declared "If she can walk, she can run," and she won in a surprise upset. Protests followed, and the PM elect voided the election result after her swearing in was delayed by some of Uddin III's supporters. In addition, Uddin III made no secret of the fact that he had repaid a $25 debt in order to remain in his role.
2012 election campaigning began in late 2011, with supporters of Uddin III's Buttertarts and Uddin IV's Union Acorns completing in plastering the walls with election signs. Elections were cancelled late 2011, and the role of prime minister was later effectively abolished by the King.
Independence
The nation initially had a small but strong independence movement, for which notorious anthems were composed, but this had died out fully by 2012.
Regulatory Governance
Meetings of what are termed AFFN's are organized on royal communication channels.
Military
The King has formerly served as General, leader of the War party, and Emperor before assuming complete monarchy. In this role, he waged war against insect and rodent invaders both inside and outside the walled borders of the Kingdom.
Economy
Ahmed currency was privately established in 2009, with only one recorded transaction occurring before it fell out of disuse. Uddin I's asension in 2010—which barred citizens from acting as self-appointed regents of the child-king—effectively debarred the possibility of its return.
Culture and media
While newspapers have been privately published since 2009, a centralized weekly magazine, the Ahmedlander, has been published since 2016. In 2019, plans were announced to create a website.
History and royal family
The lack of family history led chroniclers to produce works dated from the early 2090's which predicted the growth of the micronation over the century and which extensively chronicled, in biographies and histories, the reigns of future monarchs roughly as follows:
(2) King Uddin I
(3) Queen Ahmedunnisa I
- (4) Uddin II
- (1 & 9) Abdul (I) Samad
(5) Fatima I- (6) Uddin III
- (11) Ahmedunnisa II
- (12) Ahmedunnisa III
- (7) Uddin IV
- (8) Fatima I
- (10) Abdul II
Note that monarchs in bold assumed the throne upon their predecessor's abdication in their favour, and monarchs in italics indicate those whose reign has not been established.
Royal titles
These titles are used to preserve regality and for purposes of public broadcasting.
Uddin — suffix of Uddin I's first name meaning "of the faith", and later added as middle names for his three sons (in order of birth Uddin II "Rarity of the Faith", Uddin III "Able One of the Faith", Uddin IV "Victor of the Faith") with varying success in the original Arabic.
Ahmedunnisa — derived from the Queen's original middle name, coincidentally meaning "Ahmed (most-praised) of women", it is used for Ahmed Queens with no other shared name thereafter.
Fatima — the name of the youngest daughter of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace); used as the middle names of Fatima I and Fatima II.
Abdul — Ar. "in the service of [God]"; Queen Ahmedunissa I granted Abdus-Samad this unofficial middle name when he was not granted one by his parents, and the same was done for Abdur-Rahman a year later. Notwithstanding the popular non-recognition of these names, they are still known as Abdul I and Abdul II for chronological purposes owing to the reasons mentioned above.
Flag
The flag of the Ahmedland reflects a fondness for the buttertart; military protection of the nation; and the national animal, the sole cat often considered a half citizen. The above image is one of many unofficial representations.