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Yes A1, There Is A Santa Claus (Micro High)
|"Yes A1, There Is A Santa Claus"|
This episode's title sequence was different from the other three in season 2. Instead of writing on a blackboard, the entire title sequence was changed for simple white-on-black writing.
|Episode no.||Season 2|
|Directed by||Daniel Anderson|
|Original air date||24 December 2011|
|Next||The Micronation Formerly Known As Eleytheria|
"Yes A1, There Is A Santa Claus" is the seventh episode and 2011 Christmas special of the SBC animated sitcom Micro High. The episode sees Sirocco and St.Charlie attempt to get A1 to celebrate Christmas with them after swearing off it. The episode is best known for its rewording of the famous 1897 Is There a Santa Claus? editorial from reassuring a young girl that Santa Claus is indeed a real person to one chastising A1 for refusing to celebrate Christmas. Until the release of The Eternal Principal in November 2012, this episode had the show's longest runtime at nearly fourteen minutes.
The episode opens with Sirocco switching on his house's Christmas lights, joined by Wyvern, Zealandia and Eleytheria, who promptly mocks his display and points to her own house, decked out with a vaster and brighter quantity of lights. The scene then switches to the title sequence, which is noticeably different in that it contains a simpler, more formal appearance than the standard writing on a blackboard titles used for the season's other episodes and that the theme music is changed for "Silent Night" played on an electric guitar.
After the intro titles, St.Charlie and A1 are talking in the school's cafeteria. St.Charlie expresses his enthusiasm for the Christmas period and tells A1 about the decorations Molossia has had put up, the Christmas music people are playing and gifts they are exchanging, and comments that "even that old scrooge Erusia is wearing a Santa hat". He then tells A1 that he hasn't decided what gift to get her for Christmas (choosing between jewellery, candy "or some more of that sixteen-carat toilet paper" he'd given her the year before) and asks her what she would like, to which she replies that she is not partaking in the upcoming Christmas. Shocked, St.Charlie asks for clarification, to which A1 replies that December 25 will be "just like any other day". Despite St.Charlie's protests, A1 refuses to relent, citing corporate corruption of the festive season.
Outside, St.Charlie tells a stunned Sirocco of A1's decision. Having known her all his life, Sirocco is unable to understand her choice to skip Christmas. St.Charlie suggests a reason for it could be her casting as a cow in nativity plays at primary school, to which Sirocco counters that "playing the cow is a very respectable role. I played it myself one year. My 'moo' got a standing ovation", before suggesting that she could secretly be a socialist. St.Charlie dismisses this, reasoning that "she loves capitalism as much as you and I do." The two then agree to try and bring her back into the Christmas spirit, with Sirocco commenting that "we're such good little elves."
Meanwhile, Dranoria and Austenasia are in the cafeteria discussing presents. Austenasia mentions being attracted to "the Wangle Big Thang", a "big pink Wazoo" and a box of "Smackers" (that "of course never go amiss"), before deciding on "fuzzy dice accessories". Dranoria tells Austenasia that he would like "a pair of knitted waterproof gas-fired underpants".
In the local coffee shop, Tiana asks Yabloko if Wyvern had asked for a present from him, to which he complains that she had caught him off guard. A flashback shows Wyvern telling an unseen Yabloko that she hoped he had got her a Christmas present, adding that she had organised his. In response to this, Tiana simply comments that he is "whipped" (under Wyvern's control). Yabloko, resigned to his fate, tells Tiana that he has to get her a present in order to save face. When Tiana suggests jewellery, Yabloko dismisses the idea, stating that the local jewellers charge in excess of §200 for an empty box. Tiana reassures Yabloko, telling him that she purchases her jewellery from 'One-Eyed Bob's', which are of such a high quality that initially Yabloko does not believe her.
St.Charlie and Sirocco begin their plan to bring A1 some Christmas cheer in increasingly ridiculous ways:
- Sirocco asks for help from Sandus to help them make A1 celebrate Christmas, to which Sandus (speaking in a very heavy cockney accent) informs him he does not celebrate Christmas. An irate Sirocco threatens to "bust [his] ass" for being "loathesome no-good beatnik scum". St.Charlie reminds Sirocco that his threats are useless - Sandus is a communist and "he doesn't know any better".
- Sirocco informs A1 that frozen chickens are cheap and suggests that she should buy one for Christmas dinner. A1 refuses and reiterates her decision not to "do" Christmas.
- St.Charlie tells A1 that "space aliens from Actros" have landed and are demanding gifts "wrapped up in shiny paper", to which A1 simply replies "no".
- Sirocco asks A1 to help him memorise the words to Feliz Navidad so he may take part in Yabloko's choir. A1 complains that she does not understand why he [Sirocco] and St.Charlie find it so hard to accept her decision.
After failing in the endeavour, an angry St.Charlie (having gone to the coffee shop) demands to know why A1 has decided not to take part in Christmas. When A1 replies that she feels it has become too commercialised, St.Charlie challenges her to prove it. She does so by showing a newspaper with an advertisement for a transport firm ('Truck You!') reading "We're faster than the Fat Guy", a billboard for "District Finest Beer", an advertisement on the back of a bus for television aerials (under the premise of "This Christmas, give him a merry Vox Vocis Television Aerial!") and a collection of posters on a nearby wall (advertising soda, cigarettes, tea, heaters and a gentlemen's club). St.Charlie counters this by arguing that commercialism is "the natural order of things" and that people want to buy gifts for loved ones. Fed up with St.Charlie's constant badgering, A1 threatens to end the relationship unless he backs off.
The episode then jumps forward to Christmas Eve. Yabloko is conducting his choir, beginning with traditional favourite "Jingle Bells", which Austenasia, Wyvern and Zealandia distort immediately ("Jingle bells/Yabby smells/Erusia laid an egg"). Angered, Yabloko changes to John Lennon's "So This Is Christmas", which Dorzhabad, Dranoria and Wyvern re-word even more crudely ("So this is Christmas/And who have I done/Another chick over/I filled her with-"). An even more irate Yabloko challenges the group to corrupt "Jingle Bell Rock", which of course they do ("Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock/Santa's got a hickey on the end of his-"). Realising there is no song he can think of that the group cannot warp, he gives up.
After this, during her Christmas Message (strangely played a day early), Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II reiterates the importance of the Christmas spirit - that is, spending time with loved ones and of reflection and hope, not the exchanging of gifts. The Queen then turns on A1 and tells her to "stop being such a cow and get back into the real world".
Following the Queen's Christmas Message, St.Charlie begins his (now famous) recitation of the "Is There a Santa Claus?" editorial:
A1, you are wrong. You have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. You do not believe except what you see. You think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by your little mind. All minds, A1, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, A1, there is a Santa Claus! He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there was no A1. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, A1, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, A1, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Following this, A1 realises that her decision was wrong, saying that she enjoyed trips to see Santa as a young girl and wondering how she could have been so stupid for turning her back on Christmas. St.Charlie reminds her that it is still Christmas Eve and invites her to celebrate with him. A1 apologises for her conduct and admits that he and Sirocco were right - "Christmas isn't consumerist, it's about being with the ones you love".
After this, a video call between Tiana and Yabloko is shown. Tiana asks Yabloko if he bought Wyvern a bracelet with a wyvern on it, to which Yabloko replies he did. Tiana asks if she liked it, to which Yabloko turns side-on and shows his right cheek covered in lipstick kisses ("Oh, well I get the feeling she did"). The screen then fades to a picture of the city slowly zooming out before rolling the end credits.
After the credits, Zealandia is shown in a white room complaining about a pounding headache and wondering where he is, to which a police officer tells him that he is in a police cell. Puzzled, Zealandia asks why he has been put "in the nick", only to find out from the officer that he [Zealandia] had got drunk from excessive eggnog, assaulted carol-singers with a toasters, attacked a city tramcar with a shovel and flipping the police constable's Mini. Zealandia is horrified and wonders why it couldn't have been a Renault (the officer counters that "nobody in this city would be caught dead owning one"). The officer then informs Zealandia that the two will be going "for a little walk down to the square dancing room".
- Well-known Christmas songs It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year and Wonderful Christmastime are referenced to by St.Charlie.
- A1's evidence of commercialisation of the Christmas period is shown through four absurd means which upon closer inspection contain the following gags:
- The front page article of the newspaper A1 shows at the coffee shop is of an attack upon "His Majesty Queen Elizabeth II" by a "provocative pencil case" in a Micro High School corridor. Further on in the article is a reference to the former micronation of Cockland and how "every member of the micronational community is either a massive homosexual or a girl". Also on the front page is a headline reading "MAN BITES DOG, DOG TO SUE". There is also a deliberate conflict of dates in the newspaper - the paper itself is dated November 31, 2011 (November contains 30 days), while the attack on "His Majesty" took place on December 5, despite the story happening "today".
- The billboard refers to "District Finest Beer" (commonly known as DF), however a 'T' has appeared and the billboard now reads "DTF" (down to f---).
- The bus contains several ridiculous signs on its back end: near the brake lights is a sign reading "BRAKE LIGHTS DO NOT WORK (SO SLOW THE F*** DOWN); on the back panel of the bus itself is a sign reading "THE DRIVER IS ARMED: DO NOT USE YOUR HORN"; and the bus' numberplate is registered in the "State of Anxiety" – the motto of which reads "Aurum fenum aut asinum!", Latin for "cash, grass or ass".
- The advertisement for "Queen Victoria" refers to a Goon Show joke involving offering people pictures of Queen Victoria as if they were cigarettes.
- The title card for the Queen's (referred to here as "H.M. Liz") Christmas Message says the film is "Authorised for Public Display, Consumption and Execution".
- Daniel Anderson voiced the "MEANWHILE" clip used after the Queen's Christmas Message.
- The city scene at the end of the episode proper was rendered in SimCity 2000.
- The reference to "Hail Harry Potter the Gas Man" comes from a line written on a defaced activity book cover Anderson assisted in creating in 2003.