Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem

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Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem Flag of Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem.png

Motto
Get On With It
Official language(s)English, Nelquadrian
Official religion(s)Worship of Dictator of Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem
DemonymNelquadrian
GovernmentMilitary Dictatorship
Established27 April 2012
Area claimed10.836m²
Population1
CurrencyGBP


Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem (Nelquadrian) or Nelson-fortyseven (English), is a microstate entirely surrounded by the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. It is named after the British Naval Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson, seen as a national hero, as well as the fact that the building in which Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem is situated bears this name.

The nation does not own any land at ground level; indeed, directly below Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem is a store cupboard. However, all air in between 5 and 10 metres off the ground, in a 3.15 metre x 630 metre strip directly west of the country, has also been claimed. Under no circumstances may any aircraft fly in this airspace, and so far, none has dared to test the Nelquadrian military.

General

The country has a length of 3.44 metres running East-West, and a width of 3.15 metres North-South. It has a height of about 3 metres. The country is entirely indoors. However, there is a window which can be opened (into Nelquadrian airspace) to allow ventilation. The country has its own food and water supply, but no form of lavatory, which is good because the UK deals with all its waste. The country is inspected every weekday evening and sporadically at weekends by a team of UK nationals who ensure that all is well in Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem. The Nelquadrian leadership does no such favour for the UK.

Name dispute

Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem is the correct short form for the country, whose full name is the Evil Right-wing Tellytubby Death Squad Dictatorship of Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem, but it is legitimate to abbreviate the country to 'Room 47' for logistical purposes.

Leadership

Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem is ruled by an extreme rightist dictator, the Very Honourable Right-wing Right Reverend General Methuselah Ferdinand Nebuchadnezzar Ali Baba Flying Fish Babylon Calpol Grumio Schröck Palpatine II, or Bob for short. Contrary to popular belief, there never was a Methuselah Ferdinand Nebuchadnezzar Ali Baba Flying Fish Babylon Calpol Grumio Schröck Palpatine I. The number was chosen by applying the 'first the worst, second the best' rule.

Laws

Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem is a microstate steeped in legal history, and it is fortunate that the law in Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem is unwritten, because it would actually fill more books than could fit into the country. However, there is a brief legal code, based upon the Ten Commandments and the law of Tajikistan for obvious reasons.

1. Obey the Ten Commandments.

2. Adhere to the law of Tajikistan. [N.B. whilst bride kidnap is still practised outside the law in rural parts of Tajikistan, in Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem it is practised inside the law, and also there are no rural parts anyway.]

3. Do not smoke.

4. Visitors from the North (of England) must obtain a valid visa by applying directly to the Immigration Bureau of Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem. They will say no but it's worth a shot.

5. On no account must the word 'antiquity' ever be uttered within the bounds of Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem. The same applies for the words 'triplication', 'satsuma' and 'Thailand'.

6. The following items are outlawed in Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem: firearms (except for military or recreational purposes, or for use by children below the age of eight), live squid, Swiss currency, motor vehicles, cheese (except where made from a cow, a goat, or a cat), and finally anything written in French.

International Relations

Nelsonia-quadragintaseptem declared independence on 27 April 2012, although the territory had been formally occupied since 2 September 2011. It is not currently recognised by any sovereign nation. It recognises all UN members, as well as Kosovo, Taiwan and Mordor. It does not recognise the Republic of Tatooine, which is quite sensible considering it doesn't exist. It has declared war upon the UK, but this is limited to the room next door, with which all diplomatic links have been severed.