Bowie

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General-Admiral
Bowie of Wyvern
OFE WSA
Bowie on a visit to Germany in July 2010.
General-Admiral of the Wyvern Army
office
July 2010 - 18 December 2012
Predecessor Office established
Successor Bradley of Dullahan (acting)
Schout-bij-Nacht of Wyvern State
office
27 April 2012 - 18 December 2012
Successor Princess H. of Wyvern (acting)
Personal information
Born 29 April 1996
Near Rotterdam, The Netherlands
Died 18 December 2012 (aged 16)
Temporary Wyvernian Territory
Nationality Wyvernian
Political party Pie Party
Residence Wyvern-Stad, Wyvern
Military service
Nickname(s) Oude Mafketel
De Onverwoestbare
't Beest
Allegiance Royal Family of Wyvern, Wyvern Army
Rank General-Admiral
Battles/wars Dutch Skirmishes (1996-2009)
Battle of Arromanches (2003)
First Fireworks War (2009)
Second Fireworks War (2010)
Third Fireworks War (2011)
Awards Kingdom of Wyvern Order of the Wyvern
Federal Commonwealth of Sirocco Order of the Federation
Kingdom of Wyvern Order of the Snake Knights
Kingdom of Gradonia Weimar Service Award

General-Admiral Bowie of Wyvern OFE WSA,[a] commonly known as Bowie (29 April 1996 - 18 December 2012) was a dog owned by the Royal Family of the Kingdom of Wyvern. He played a significant role in the Wyvern Army, eventually being awarded the life-long title of General-Admiral in 2010. As a General-Admiral, he was the official leader of the Wyvern Army. Before the party merged with the Behemoth Party in 2012, he was also the de jure leader of the Wyvernian Pie Party. On 27 April 2012, he was named Schout-bij-Nacht, or Night Watchman, of the Capital State of Wyvern for spending most of his life protecting the Royal Family and their property. In honour of his sixteenth birthday, he was awarded the Siroccan Order of the Tram. Later, just before his death, he was awarded the Order of the Federation. Bowie posthumously received the Weimar Service Award in 2019.

Early life

There are two varying accounts about Bowie's birth. According to the papers provided with adoption and the identification tattoo in his ear, he was born on 29 April 1996. A later passport put his date of birth at an unknown date in June 1996, but this estimate is dismissed in favour of earlier and more comprehensive sources from veterinarians. Bowie was one of the last dogs in the Netherlands not to receive a microchip. Instead, he received a tattoo with a personal number on the inside of one of his ears.

Because the paperwork system that registered tattoo numbers largely became defunct during his lifetime, it is difficult to trace where he was born. Because his breed is relatively rare and he was considered almost the perfect dog for his breed, it is assumed that he was born to hand-picked Parson Russell Terriers at a kennel. For a while, a theory played that he was born abroad, possibly in the United Kingdom, considering his name and the origins of his breed. However, this theory did not take into account that he had Dutch papers upon adoption by the Royal Family.

Little is known about Bowie's first owners. According to the veterinarians at the dog pound where he was adopted by the Royal Family, his previous owner had been an elderly woman with young grandchildren. During the first two years of his life, he had lived with the elderly woman. However, he was not treated well by her grandchildren, something that instilled a life-long fear of crying and screaming children, and eventually put up for adoption. He remained in the dog pound for a while, becoming a nervous wreck due to the barking of other dogs.

Bowie was eventually adopted by the Royal Family of Wyvern shortly before Christmas 1998. After a walk, he was taken to the office where Prince A. of Wyvern worked, and introduced. He was then taken home and registered as the Royal Family's dog. It was decided to keep his old name to avoid trouble with paperwork.

The Royal Family's Dog

Although Bowie behaved flawlessly during his first weeks in the Royal Palace, he soon started showing aggressive behaviour, trying to correct current King Quentin I and his sister Princess A. of Wyvern by biting them in the leg. He also attacked Prince A. of Wyvern, the King's father, Princess H. of Wyvern, the King's mother, and a family friend. He fought several dogs a year at that time, randomly attacking them during walks and, on one occasion, being rushed to a veterinarian after a severe tail injury sustained while fighting two large, fighting-breed dogs.

Visit to Normandy and the 'Battle of Arromanches'

The main boulevard of Arromanches, thought to be the location of Bowie's battle against the French

In a year not specified by the Government of the Kingdom of Wyvern, but probably 2003, the Royal Family of Wyvern visited Normandy, in France.

When they arrived in the town of Arromanches, in Normandy, King Quentin I and his father, Prince A. of Wyvern, decided to visit a museum dedicated to the temporary harbours set up in the area by the Allies after D-Day in order to increase their shipping capacity into mainland Europe. Princess H. of Wyvern decided to take Bowie for a walk on the beach, as Bowie seemed drawn to the sea.

As soon as he reached the sea, he started attacking it. Princess H. of Wyvern described the process as "charging, biting the sea ferociously, then retreating and repeating the process." In doing so, Bowie ingested large amounts of sea water, which temporarily damaged his digestive tract, causing what was described as "a nasty case of diarrhea" when he was walking across a crowded boulevard less than an hour later.

After a few discussions about the incident between 2009 and 2012 by the Government of the Kingdom of Wyvern, the Royal Family of Wyvern, with King Quentin I and Princess H. of Wyvern being the most adamant advocates, petitioned the government to declare it, in hindsight, an eccentric act of war against the French, a people and a state often ridiculed by the Wyvernian people.

The French government has not formally responded to the incident, but locals were said to be "quite shocked" at the "explosive diarrhea" on their boulevard.

Later years and death

Starting in 2008, Bowie started to show clear signs of old age. He could not run for miles as he used to, and lost most of his sight and hearing. Throughout the process, the Royal Family worried that their trusted companion, who had even legally adopted their surname in his Dutch passport, might die soon. However, Bowie showed no sign that he was tired of life itself, and showed himself capable of being happy, meaning that the Royal Family allowed treatment of his ailments.

During the first eight months of 2010, Bowie encountered a disease that caused the toes in one of his paws to become infected. After one attempted surgery that did not permanently solve his issues, the Royal Family and a local veterinarian feared that, if they treated him by removing the rudimentary toe infected worst, the anaesthetic might cause him to die of heart issues. However, within a few hours, his heart and lungs were deemed "adequate" to deal with the anesthetic, and his toe was amputated with success. A few months later, after some more treatment involving warm, soda-water foot baths to treat infections, he recovered completely.

With only one exception, that being their visit to Scotland in 2006, Bowie has always accompanied the Royal Family of Wyvern on foreign visits.

Following an accident with a flight of stairs, Bowie was euthanised at around 11:15 a.m. CET on 18 December 2012. The veterinary clinic where he died was made temporary Wyvernian territory to allow him to die on Wyvernian soil.

Positions and awards

During a cabinet meeting in 2010, the Government of the Kingdom of Wyvern discussed Bowie's position in the Kingdom of Wyvern. As they lacked sufficient people to fill the number of military ranks established by Bradley of Dullahan, it was decided by the then-cabinet of the Kingdom of Wyvern that Bowie was to become the symbolic General-Admiral of the Wyvern Army, a position granted in recognition of his services to the Royal Family and for his, as stated by the government, "heroic actions against France in 2003". He was later voted for as a member of the short-lived Puppet Council of Wyvern, and awarded the title Schout-bij-Nacht for his service of almost fourteen years as the Royal Family's primary guard.

On his sixteenth birthday, in the early morning of 29 April 2012, he was awarded the Siroccan Order of the Tram by Daniel Anderson for being "an inspiration to animals and humans alike". This award was upgraded to an Order of the Federation on 17 December 2012.

Bowie in popular culture

Notes

  1. Assuming orders and decorations from Wyvern do not give the recipient post-nominals, the Order of the Wyvern & Order of the Snake Knights have not been included here.