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Principality of Heathland
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The Socialist Republic of Heathland is officially the smallest micro-nation in Australia and the sole micro-nation in Adelaide. The Socialist Republic of Heathland was created primarily for fun, to be enacted on a small space that is controlled by one leader and one leader only. The Socialist Republic is totally reliant on neighboring Australia and its citizens for utilities, education, healthcare, food, social welfare, and community services.
- Name of micronation: (The) Principality of Heathland.
- Proclaimed: Wednesday 20 April 2016
- Permanent Population: 2
- Leader: Sir honourable, Master Semen Gurgler Heath Ivan Loxton.
- Capital: The Heathlin.
- Land Area: 300 square metres (approx).
- Key infrastructure: Landline phone, smart mobile phone, three (3) used condoms (size extra small), nine (9) unused condoms (size extra small), modern laptop, library of fiction and nonfiction books, one (1) Book: how babies are made- introducing your children to the wonders of procreation, dressing table, water rockets for national defence, crab nets for national food security, bank card for national financial security.
- Key values: Inclusion / Pride. Legal Paedophilia. No laws regarding stalking. All events must include Heath, or leaders of events will be subject to compulsory sexual activities as decided by Heath.
- National animal: Domestic cat.
- National mythological creature: 3 year old White omnisexual unicorn with both a penis and a vagina and three (3) breasts.
- Coat of Arms: Yes.
- National flag: Yes.
- National anthem: Yes.
- National motto: Inclusion is the guardian of Pride.
- Key portfolios: Pegasus water rockets, Heathie Loxton Geocaching, Seaton and Aberfoyle park railway.
- National dishes: KFC, sushi, chocolate, mangoes and pizza.
- National landmarks: The great photo wall of heathland.
- Marriage equality: Yes.
- Discrimination protection: Yes, anyone is welcome to participate to a full extent in work, education and community life when a citizen of the principality of heathland regardless of age, sexuality, gender, disability, religion or financial status. Any potential members with dark skin, however, will be subject to decision by leader Heath following intense sexual intercourse sessions (minimum 3), unless male (rejected).
- National holidays and celebrations: September 22 = Foundation day, Wednesday week 8 term 4 = Come out day.
- No males are permitted to enter without undergoing the Penile Length Measurement Procedure, in which a designated member of Heathland will measure the erect penis length of the enteree. Following measurement, access will be permitted if the results of the PLMP are less than 3.2 Inches. This limit is subject to change if the leader's (Currently Sir honourable, Master Semen Gurgler Heath Ivan Loxton) penis length also increases from 3.2in.
There was no room at the inn When Mary and Joseph did arrive. But they were so very tired, you see, And Mary had to offer a bribe. Since she had no money, How would she pay for a place to sleep? Gabriel appeared to Mary And told her not to weep.
'Cause you can suck all the dick you want And still be a virgin, Mary. You can suck all the dick you want And still be the mother of Christ. If there's no room at the inn, then it's not considered a sin to suck some dick to get a room for the night.