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Cool Barbie (original)

Not to be confused with Cool Barbie I - Fallen from the Sky by Austenasian Television Productions.

Cool Barbie
CB1.png
Bubbles plans to attack Cool Barbie.
Created by Jonathan Austen
Timothy Boxall
Caroline Austen
Created on 11 December 2005
Runtime 04:46
Episode chronology
Previous First episode
Next Cool Barbie 2

The original Cool Barbie film was a production made on 11 December 2005 by the now Emperor Jonathan I of Austenasia, his sister Caroline, and their cousin Timothy. Cool Barbie inspired two sequels, one (Cool Barbie 2) the following year and another (Cool Barbie 3) in 2008, and eventually went on to be the basis for the later series of the same name produced by Austenasian Television Productions.

Cool Barbie was intended to be a comedy, and is of a very - sometimes intentionally - poor quality. The fourth wall is frequently broken, with discussion between the voice actors/cameramen heard at points throughout the film. Furthermore, the whole episode is randomly interspersed at various points with brief clips from another production inadvertantly mixed into the episode due to poor quality editing, including two instances of a shot of an Action Man saying "oh yes I am!" in a pantomime-like fashion.

The film was recorded on an analogue camcorder, and not converted to a digital format until September 2014. It has never been publicly released in its entirety, although small bits of footage have been included in Cool Barbie I - Fallen from the Sky (2009), Cool Barbie IX - Last of the Mysterons (2015), and after the end credits of Cool Barbie XV - The Final Battle (2018).

Plot

The film starts with Jonathan attempting five times to say "Jonathan Austen Pictures presents: Cool Barbie" before dissolving into giggles due to trying to add the words "with a slipper" while lifting one up into shot. He succeeds the sixth time, leaving out the slipper. Bubbles appears on Earth and attacks Cool Barbie, who escapes using an ejector seat in her car. She is abducted onto his spaceship, which comes under attack by a single soldier who fires a gun at it for a long time (with some shots being repeated, including one in which "you haven't filmed that bit yet, have you?" can be heard shouted off-screen). A brief scene follows involving a newsreader reporting on the situation, after which a judge rules that a nuclear missile should be launched at Bubble's spaceship after a court ruling at which Cool Barbie was somehow in attendance and for some reason used as a gavel. A missile is fired at the ship, which is destroyed. The episode ends with Jonathan and Timothy singing a paraphrased verse of "We Are Family" in front of the camera.

Production

The film was produced upstairs at what is now the Imperial Residence during a family get-together in celebration of the now Emperor Mother Margaret's fiftieth birthday. Jonathan, Timothy and Caroline functioned as co-directors, with Jonathan and Timothy both voicing Cool Barbie due to both only being eleven years old. The film was transferred onto a VHS tape, and the rights to the movie were given to ATP by agreement of the three co-directors in early 2011.

Cast

  • Timothy Boxall as:
    • Bubbles the Uranian
    • Cool Barbie
    • Soldier
  • Jonathan Austen as:
    • Narrator
    • Cool Barbie
    • Bubbles the Uranian
    • Newsreader
    • Military officer
    • Judge

Caroline did not play a speaking role, but functioned as one of the three co-directors. She helped to make a teleportation sound effect, and can also be heard saying "Cut!" at two points.